Some scary facts

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Bionca, i went to that "Blog" link, i live in Canada, I never saw any coverage of the event you speak about, but you seem to like to over-generalise, also interfering in a man & woman heated of even violent encounter is usually not a good idea, often you end up having them both on your ass, so that may be why no one has done anything.

Also, playing the "I would have done this or i would have done that" game is all fine and all but in your would have's you never consider that you could get hurt, so if you're not in that situation, you don't know how it is.

As an example, one of my ex-neighbours, intimidated one of my older neighbours, i got in his face for a good 10 minutes (in the dark) explaining the error of his ways, towards the end of the 10 minutes he opened the door to the outside to show me that he was only there with his g/f and if he did intimidate the older woman it was unintentionnal, so i told him that if i got the wrong guy to have a good day.

Two days later i see him since we live across the hall diagonally from eachother, and i say that was you downstairs?

He looks at me and sais: oh that was you! The way he said it i knew he meant why was i affraid of this guy.

I keft my keys in the door and walked up to him saying: So you think you can take me? Suddenly he wasn't so defiant anymore, then i said: yeah... Well i don't care! and turned my back to him and went in my apt. we both knew who won that round.

The next morning, i saw him talking about what had happened, his freind said:
I would have kicked his ass.

Right then i came up to them and said Hi How the F are ya, and beeing a bit rude, guess what he was as agressive as puppy, he didn't do what he said he'd do did he?

No, cause in his "i would have" the possibility of him getting hurt was inexistant but when he was in the heat of the situation there was a possibility that he could get hurt, and that made him back down.

So that's what it means to "walk a mile in my shoes" so don't be so harsh judging people you probably would have done the same thing everybody else did.

JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

Bionca, i went to that "Blog" link, i live in Canada, I never saw any coverage of the event you speak about, but you seem to like to over-generalise, also interfering in a man & woman heated of even violent encounter is usually not a good idea, often you end up having them both on your ass, so that may be why no one has done anything.

Also, playing the "I would have done this or i would have done that" game is all fine and all but in your would have's you never consider that you could get hurt, so if you're not in that situation, you don't know how it is.

As an example, one of my ex-neighbours, intimidated one of my older neighbours, i got in his face for a good 10 minutes (in the dark) explaining the error of his ways, towards the end of the 10 minutes he opened the door to the outside to show me that he was only there with his g/f and if he did intimidate the older woman it was unintentionnal, so i told him that if i got the wrong guy to have a good day.

Two days later i see him since we live across the hall diagonally from eachother, and i say that was you downstairs?

He looks at me and sais: oh that was you! The way he said it i knew he meant why was i affraid of this guy.

I keft my keys in the door and walked up to him saying: So you think you can take me? Suddenly he wasn't so defiant anymore, then i said: yeah... Well i don't care! and turned my back to him and went in my apt. we both knew who won that round.

The next morning, i saw him talking about what had happened, his freind said:
I would have kicked his ass.

Right then i came up to them and said Hi How the F are ya, and beeing a bit rude, guess what he was as agressive as puppy, he didn't do what he said he'd do did he?

No, cause in his "i would have" the possibility of him getting hurt was inexistant but when he was in the heat of the situation there was a possibility that he could get hurt, and that made him back down.

So that's what it means to "walk a mile in my shoes" so don't be so harsh judging people you probably would have done the same thing everybody else did.

JohnDowe.

I'm curious what parts of my blog you find objectionable.

Here is a mental exercise. You are walking with a trans woman on a date. Someone notices something about her and makes a scene with his friends on the street. Things look potentially violent. What do you do?

What if you run into a friend who "warns" you with a mocking grin that your date is "really a man"?

[johndowe]

Hi there.

This was about "The cowards we date" and i didn't say objectionable, i mean you were a bit harsh and quick to judge, and if you're not in the heat of the moment with all the emotions that it generates, you usually only get a partial view of the event.

Since the age of 16, i haven't taken any shit from anybody, not my bosses, not my co workers, not my freinds, not my girlfreinds, not my parents.

The only one that i let give me shit once, was my mom and she did paid for it and she did appologise, i only appologised 5 years later, and she did admit that she was wrong.

So if someone were to challenge me, i would do what i did many times in the past, i would try to defuse the situation, but not in a weak way, and if push comes to shove then let's fight.

About the "freind" warning me about my tg date.

Well, never been in that situation, i like to think i would handle the situation as i always do, not taking shit, but if he was my friend he wouldn't disrespect me by mockingly pointing out that fact, and if he was only an acquintance i'd do what i said previously.

JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

I have been dating guys for quite some time, so my judgment is anything but "quick" - harsh, probably. Quick or without reason not even close.

I don't want to come across as particularly angry or sulky, so I won't go into details. The thing is, I have found that when things get tough, guys turn tail and run away. Guys lie about us to coworkers, deny knowing us, pretend not to know us if we get clocked. They seem to be more interested in protecting their image or standing, even among strangers than supporting or respecting their TG companion.

I can't count the number of guys who honestly used "dirty secret" or something close when talking about me or my friends. Secrets and shame make men cowards. If you visit some of the LadyBoy forums, the guys who go to Thailand call the walk from the bar to the hotel "the Walk of Shame" and give each other advice on hotels with side doors so their LB can sneak into the room and they won't be embarrassed at the from desk.

Read this:
http://www.xbiz.com/articles/99429/transsexual

The guy who started Grooby, and is probably more familiar with guy who are into TGs, talks about "admirers". It's not a very flattering picture he paints, but in my observations he isn't far off, and his description probably won't bother the majority of guys here.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by Bionca in Laughingriotgirls

Removing the influence of the gatekeeper medical establishment who have a vested interest in making SRS not just an option, but THE goal for Trans*.

Are you accusing the medical dept. and the Govt along with it, of forcing the onerous fiscal burden of SRS upon the Tgirls? After all its not a passing fashion trend to alter the genital organs!! It's sort of a legal passport for acknowledgment as a female*. Only the Govt. policy-makers have the power to set it down as the Law.

Originally Posted by Bionca in Laughingriotgirls

Where are the "Admirers"? Where were the guys who objectify bodies like mine? Where were the guys who make money off of bodies like mine? Where were the guys who love/date/fuck/lust after gals like me?

Whats up with your ultra aggressive mood, Miss B? You sound so pissed off these days!

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Bionca, this isn't a perfet world, most people are weak, you seem not to be, since i don't know you that's all i can say, if you date a weak person and you know it, i would hope you wouldn't expect him to be a tower of strength when push comes to shove, your boyfreind and all others who like shemales but don't speak up for you, usually don't even speak up for themselves, how can you expect them to speak up for you? They are afraid of life, they are afraid of not fitting in, they embrace the status quo, because they are afraid of change, as i think about this, i'm begining to think you were right and i was wrong, anyway there are alot more follower than leaders, and there is stigma to being labeled gay, as in gay bashing, a little undesrtanding can go a long way in resolving problems.

Also ask your brothers, they should be able to confirm this, most guys don't know how to fight, and because of that, avoid confrontations, better be a live coward than a dead hero, but what they don't realise is that if they were to stand up for themselves one in a while they wouldn't become dead heroes, but maby they would gain a little respect for themdelves and maby a bit of self respect? And even if they get beat up, at least they would have stood up for something, but as in pretty much everything the first time is usually the hardest.

In conclusion, i think we were both a bit harsh, you in judging those who didn't stand-up for you and other t-girls and me for reacting to your harshness, but you could stand to chill out a bit.

JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by sesame

Are you accusing the medical dept. and the Govt along with it, of forcing the onerous fiscal burden of SRS upon the Tgirls? After all its not a passing fashion trend to alter the genital organs!! It's sort of a legal passport for acknowledgment as a female*. Only the Govt. policy-makers have the power to set it down as the Law.

1) I'm stating that lots of medical "experts" have a financial investment in SRS. To the point where if a trans women isn't expressing an undying desire to go that route, they often will deny treatment all together. They are also in a position where a note from them is required by the government or insurance and credit card industries to modify any gender markers.

2) The government has set up a system where official documentation is hinged on completing SRS. This is an expensive surgery thta is not covered by insurance in the US. With conflicting documentation, getting a job to pay for the surgery is pretty difficult, so lots of women who need to go that route are in a position where their means are limited and legal/mainstream employment is denied them.