fear

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by soarbyrd

This thread has taken an interesting turn!

Hank absolutely nailed it:



The emotional content -- that's really why I joined this forum. The pics are great, but I'm really much more interested in matters of the heart. Why do we humans behave the way we do? We are such amazing creatures once we step beyond the bogus boundaries of "thou shalt not."

This transsexual phenomenon is endlessly fascinating, and deserves a thorough scientific study as well as memoirs and documentaries. I agree with Hank that a proper study would take a lot of time and money to do it right. A memoir seems much more feasible, and after reading your posts, I'm convinced you could do a fabulous job, Hank! You already have a lot of fans eagerly awaiting your memoir.

The transsexual impulse has always been there in our species, and deserves a historical survey in its own right. But only recently have all the factors come together -- almost total freedom if you've got the money to pay for it; hormones; electrolysis; implants; reconstructive surgery -- to allow a man to transform himself into an amazing facsimile of a genetic woman... what is, for all practical purposes, an entirely new sex. And after all is said and done, when we look at a transwoman we are looking at the outward manifestation of an inner impulse. And it's this inner impulse that fascinates me so much. By any definition, a transwoman is an artist, and her canvas is her own body. Transwomen are taking body modification to unprecedented new heights of creativity.

What is this inner impulse that drives a person to go through all the time, money, pain and discouragement to complete this transformation? An amazing amount of dedication, determination, focus, and sheer grit is necessary to complete the task. Transwomen are admirable beyond compare.

Thanks to everybody for stimulating this and all the other discussions.

The emotional content is what matters. I've been a bad boy and all that shit - still am I guess - but that´s not related to my lovers' gender. The sole fact remains that only with a sweet, dear, gorgeous, wonderful, grrr, intelligent, academic, super, DEEP trans-woman do I feel truly "at home".

And ain't NO WAY that's gonna change... been with cisgendered ladies also in my path, obviously, but the fact remains, that they simply don't make me rock'n roll any more... oh well... no, they don't...

Let me illustrate what I mean by an example: I went out (this is actually a long time ago, but it sticks to me) with gorgeous Melanie. She was in a personal turmoil. Should she go to live with that German guy who offered her gold and green pastures and who was a gay man, or should she stay true to the trans-part of herself that could never feel truly satisfied by a mere homosexual relationship? Mel is not a full-timer, but she has transsexuality in her in a very beautiful way.

She was crying (her sweet make up was aestetically and dramatically running down her fabulous face), I kissed her tears, and in the end she chose to go with that man - only to return two weeks later, because it didn't rock her either.

And that's neither the first nor the last time I've been a witness to that story.

So unless the emotions are totally there, then there really is no point! BUT this is part of the transsexual dilemma that makes me go crazy. Both in a positive and negative way. I get frustrated when she talks about giving up her female side for some gay dude... on the other hand I realize that she may need it to get closer to her self. And in the end they all come back - of course, because being a trans woman is not about "some guy" - it's about finding one self in a bumped but beautiful way to a kind of self-recognition that very, very few people will ever have the courage or privilege to reach in life.

That's why!

H