Don't hold back - post what's on your mind. I am not proud of my actions & behavior ( far from it) but am honest about it. I love my wife and care for her deeply but sexually my desires are not compatible with hers. I see TS girls for sex and only sex. I pay the requested fee happily. I am not looking for a LTR of any kind with any other person.
From my own experience, my wife is more hurt by her perception that I have been having sex with men ( her term, certainly not mine) and cannot begin to understand that I am physically attracted to a female with a penis. It is for this reason that I advocate secrecy and lying. It's totally fucked up I know, but it's done and I cannot undo it now.