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Old 01-23-2011
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My grandmother, who was probably not like the grandmothers of 99 percent of Forum members, told me this joke when I was 13 or 14 years old:

Working late one night, a mortician whose job it was to examine the dead bodies before they are sent off to be buried or cremated was examining Morty Adelman's body. Morty was scheduled to be cremated the next day. To his amazement, the mortician discovered that Morty had the biggest cock he'd ever seen. (My grandmother said pupik, the Yiddish word.)

The mortician thought to himself, "I can't send a specimen like this to be cremated. A cock like that must be saved for posterity." And so he used his tools to remove it carefully, stuffed it into his bag, and brought it home.

Later that night, he said to his wife, "Sweetheart, I have something to show you that you just won't believe." And he opened the bag.

"Oh my god!" screamed his wife. "Morty Adelman is dead!"
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