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#1
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I'm guessing you don't mean "sinkhole," since that would only describe the way Bruins fans see what our team has been put in by trading him and his 51 points (without the kind of front line you'd expect for someone that productive) away.
![]() Shouldn't this now move to the hockey thread? ![]() |
#2
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#3
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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car andwas pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through herpurse and was getting progressively more agitated.'What does it look like?' she finally asked.The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on It.' The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it And handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop...
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"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." R.N. |
#4
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Japanese Hotel Service . . .
A oversea's salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan . . . Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. 'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.' Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service for Men, When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender manhood........ which now had a button sewn neatly on the end. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#5
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A professor at The University of Maine was giving a lecture on involuntary muscle contractions.
His students weren?t paying attention and so to make his lecture more memorable he decided to get the students to think a bit. Looking at an especially attractive young woman he said to her ?Mary, do you know what your asshole is doing when you?re having an orgasm?? Without missing a beat Mary replied ?yes, he?s usually out moose hunting with his buddies.? It took the remainder of the day for the laughter to subside. |
#6
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A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to
Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball must have been going 200 mph when it hit me square in the nuts." "What does that have to do with your teeth?" asked the first. "Well" he explained, "That was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt." |
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