How important is passable/female identity?

[Bionca]

There needs to be a clarification I think. To guys who love/date/fuck/admire/jerk-off to Trans*Women so often "Passing" = "pretty".

In my case, as well as most T-Gals I know, hormonal and surgical femiization was/is key to their own self-image and self-esteem. I may wish it was different, but the perceptions of strangers (not to mention friends) matters. Being un-gendered by a clerk at the store who calls you "sir" is a blow, teens at the mall insulting you is a blow, folks laughing as yuo pass them .. you get what I'm saying. The confidance of having something as basic as your gender affirmed unconciously on a daily basis cannot be over stated.

The reality is, most Trans*women can pass, given the means and access to do so. By "pass" I mean they can walk outside in daylight and not get insulted. They aren't porn chick sexy, they look like the average woman they are. So, "passing" is critical for the general well-being of most Trans*women. Being sexually desireable (for me) was way way down on the list.