How important is passable/female identity?

Originally Posted by smolderingtemptress

I never said I didn't have pictures - I said I wasn't going to post them here.

Now I know you're a man.

There is no tranny on the planet, who having gone through the pain and personal struggle of transformation, would not proudly display her face to the world.

Now you show your respect to a fully developed transsexual woman, a woman who took every step, legally and physically to reach my status. Until you do I'll ride your ass like one of my clients, which is what you want.

I've brought some life to this board, before it was full of empty niceties. Now I see some feeling. You're all quite welcome.

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

I've brought some life to this board, before it was full of empty niceties. Now I see some feeling. You're all quite welcome.

MEL,

Or is it malicious?


Are you the cock that stirs the honey pot?


Piece,


TAL

Originally Posted by Talvenada

Are you the cock that stirs the honey pot?

I am the shiznitz

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

I am the shiznitz

MEL,

Could you translate from the language or slang what you are?


Piece,


TAL

[Limegirl]

To me it seems that you are a shemale instead for a transexual girl, to be a TS girl have NOTHING to do with a desire to get (sexual) attention from men, its about to be your true self, a woman, you have the bad luck to be girl born in a mans body and therefore need to correct there nature failed.
Transexualism has nothing to do with your sexuality, its about your gender.
Its not like transvetitets, men who get horny to wear women clothes.

Originally Posted by Limegirl

To me it seems that you are a shemale instead for a transexual girl, to be a TS girl have NOTHING to do with a desire to get (sexual) attention from men, its about to be your true self, a woman, you have the bad luck to be girl born in a mans body and therefore need to correct there nature failed.
Transexualism has nothing to do with your sexuality, its about your gender.
Its not like transvetitets, men who get horny to wear women clothes.

And posting on English-speaking boards requires command of the English language.

Originally Posted by Talvenada

MEL,

Could you translate from the language or slang what you are?


Piece,


TAL

It means I am a fucking Goddess now on your knees boy.

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

It means I am a fucking Goddess now on your knees boy.

MEL:

Should I close my eyes, open my mouth, or both?

Should I offer you a hand, or both hands?


Piece,


TAL

[TracyCoxx]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

It means I am a fucking Goddess now on your knees boy.

LOL that one made me laugh. Do you really think you're that hot?

[CreativeMind]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

I've brought some life to this board, before it was full of empty niceties. Now I see some feeling. You're all quite welcome.

"Empty niceties"?
You mean like people actually being pleasant to each other?

Yeah, you're right -- we should really "thank you" for taking that away. We should thank you for throwing around an over-sized ego, or for insulting any fellow TS that are here simply because they don't agree with you on something or because they won't post their picture (choosing instead to protect their privacy online). And we should thank you for taking cheap shots at people -- like making fun of someone who lives in a foreign country, so English is obviously not their first language, and all they want to do is try and share some thoughts of their own on a public message board. Yeah, you're right, Melissa. We really owe you for all that you've given us. Like a cheap hooker who stakes out a spot on a local corner, you've added SO much class the neighborhood.

Oh, wait -- you ARE a cheap hooker.
So, I guess that comment is literally on target.

Ah, the sweet ironies in life...

Creative, I can always count on you to read my every word unfortunately I cannot return the favor.

You can contact me privately whenever you are ready for our date bring lube.

[Bionca]

There needs to be a clarification I think. To guys who love/date/fuck/admire/jerk-off to Trans*Women so often "Passing" = "pretty".

In my case, as well as most T-Gals I know, hormonal and surgical femiization was/is key to their own self-image and self-esteem. I may wish it was different, but the perceptions of strangers (not to mention friends) matters. Being un-gendered by a clerk at the store who calls you "sir" is a blow, teens at the mall insulting you is a blow, folks laughing as yuo pass them .. you get what I'm saying. The confidance of having something as basic as your gender affirmed unconciously on a daily basis cannot be over stated.

The reality is, most Trans*women can pass, given the means and access to do so. By "pass" I mean they can walk outside in daylight and not get insulted. They aren't porn chick sexy, they look like the average woman they are. So, "passing" is critical for the general well-being of most Trans*women. Being sexually desireable (for me) was way way down on the list.

[smolderingtemptress]

That's exactly right. Genetic women come in all different sizes, shapes, colors, etc. and it's the same with transsexual women as well. I've seen some rather manly looking GGs but no one questions them because it's still obvious that they're women. There's way too much pressure in the TS community to adhere to an (in my opinion) exaggerated ideal of feminine beauty, and I think that can be detrimental for transition. Not only do we need to look like the women we are, but we feel we have to look above and beyond GGs with regards to "beauty".

The admirers are always saying TS are even more feminine/beautiful than GGs... You would hope it's a little bit about the personality as well.

[randolph]

Originally Posted by smolderingtemptress

That's exactly right. Genetic women come in all different sizes, shapes, colors, etc. and it's the same with transsexual women as well. I've seen some rather manly looking GGs but no one questions them because it's still obvious that they're women. There's way too much pressure in the TS community to adhere to an (in my opinion) exaggerated ideal of feminine beauty, and I think that can be detrimental for transition. Not only do we need to look like the women we are, but we feel we have to look above and beyond GGs with regards to "beauty".

The admirers are always saying TS are even more feminine/beautiful than GGs... You would hope it's a little bit about the personality as well.

The other day I was at Starbucks and a "girl" was getting a cup of coffee. She had enlarged breasts, a low cut blouse, a short skirt and high heels. She was obviously a ts. I smiled as I watched her walk past me and she noticed me looking at her. She then made a face at me and stuck out her tongue and strutted off. That's has been my only actual encounter with a ts.

[Limegirl]

Originally Posted by Bionca

There needs to be a clarification I think. To guys who love/date/fuck/admire/jerk-off to Trans*Women so often "Passing" = "pretty".

In my case, as well as most T-Gals I know, hormonal and surgical femiization was/is key to their own self-image and self-esteem. I may wish it was different, but the perceptions of strangers (not to mention friends) matters. Being un-gendered by a clerk at the store who calls you "sir" is a blow, teens at the mall insulting you is a blow, folks laughing as yuo pass them .. you get what I'm saying. The confidance of having something as basic as your gender affirmed unconciously on a daily basis cannot be over stated.

The reality is, most Trans*women can pass, given the means and access to do so. By "pass" I mean they can walk outside in daylight and not get insulted. They aren't porn chick sexy, they look like the average woman they are. So, "passing" is critical for the general well-being of most Trans*women. Being sexually desireable (for me) was way way down on the list.

I couldn´t say it better myself, you put your finger right on the spot Bionca!

[jimnaseum]

I told my psychiatrist that if I ever became famous as an artist that he should tell people that I was completely insane, but if I stayed a loser to please keep my records confidential.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

There needs to be a clarification I think. To guys who love/date/fuck/admire/jerk-off to Trans*Women so often "Passing" = "pretty".

Hmmm... time has passed since we discussed this. But I believe you're right, Mizzy B. It's more about pretty than "passable". I dislike the term, btw, "passable" as what?

Do I feel embarrassed if people can see that my girlfriend is a trans*woman? No, I don't - on the contrary, actually. Does SHE feel embarrassed? Probably sometimes.

So "passability" is most likely more a case of her feeling satisfied by her own femininity.

But pretty is the thing - and in this regard it is no different from any guy's attration to any girl - cis* or trans*. As I'm certain you also like a handsome man...

Let's not be hypocritical about this.

So here's the REAL question:

Personality and anything else aside, just LOOKS... would I prefer to date a pretty but not "passable" or a "passable" but not pretty trans*woman?

Well, you know my answer to that.

The whole issue is, that this damn "passability" thing distracts the point that femininity is not only a matter of feminine features. Femininity is personality and in the end these cannot really be separated.

I have several "non-passable" trans*friends (some of them strikingly gorgeous) - meaning that people know they are trans*women. Again, to many trans*women this is obviously an important aspect, so I have to respect it, but it's not the most important aspect by my current views. Her femininity comes from so deep inside. And THAT'S what I pick up on...

H

[Bionca]

Hank - I prefer the term "blend" over "pass". I mean the opposite of "pass" is "fail" and I refuse to believe that any trans woman is a failure at being a woman.

[CreativeMind]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

Creative, I can always count on you to read my every word unfortunately I cannot return the favor.

You can contact me privately whenever you are ready for our date bring lube.

Translation: "Creative, I know you're right, but I can't admit it openly.
Otherwise my truly fucked-up ego would crumble and I'd have no reason to exist."

As for bringing lube to any date with you, a far better tip for all of your clients
would probably be to bring massive doses of antibiotics given your profession...

[randolph]

Hey Melissa!
Give them hell baby, the more you talk, the more I would like to have sex with you. When can I get an appointment?

[studformtf07]

I view TS women the same as GGs, it is all about how they take care of themselves and their sex appeal. If ANY girl is sloppy of just plain unattractive to me, then I'm not interested. So, to me, "passing" is in an individual thing.

[Naked Freedom]

being passable is very important..... but more important is how the transswoman feel and think

[Renegade91]

very important.

must be fully shaven down below aswel.

passable is everthing otherwise I would find any gay man to fuck or suck me. It's the excitement of being with a beautiful woman who can turn-me-on with her looks and make me wanna go gay to be with her. This why I have no guilt for feeling this way. If a ladyboy can look so hot that I want to fuck her and give her head, THAT'S GREAT!!!

[alyssaluxor]

i really like Transexual girls who are passable

for me they are the cream of the crop

[smolderingtemptress]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

Now I know you're a man.

There is no tranny on the planet, who having gone through the pain and personal struggle of transformation, would not proudly display her face to the world.

Now you show your respect to a fully developed transsexual woman, a woman who took every step, legally and physically to reach my status. Until you do I'll ride your ass like one of my clients, which is what you want.

Looks like someone's starved for attention.

[franalexes]

Passing is not one thing.
PASSING is EVERYTHING !

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

For me, passability is in the eye of the beholder, and it's not for a TS to say whether they're passable or not.

Some might say passability is overrated and what's most important is that you're happy in your own skin. While that is true don't let them fool you- passing is huge for any TS.

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

Now I know you're a man.

There is no tranny on the planet, who having gone through the pain and personal struggle of transformation, would not proudly display her face to the world.

Now you show your respect to a fully developed transsexual woman, a woman who took every step, legally and physically to reach my status. Until you do I'll ride your ass like one of my clients, which is what you want.

Epic fail.
Also, you are very shouty, in a blokey sort of way.

[URL="http://melissacarter.net/melissastory.html"]blog http://melissacarter.net/melissastory.htm[URL]
UPDATE: September 2008

In late Febraury, broke and depressed, I couldn't bear the thought of looking for yet another real estate job, which I was sure to be fired from. I had briefly dabbled in the escort scene. I decided to give it another whirl

At the same time I was meeting many clients and being exposed to a darker side of life, which included drugs. I quickly became hooked on freebase cocaine and all but ruined my life in a few short months.

Lost in addiction, and having the money to finance it, I had become an out of control addict of the highest order. This seemed to go well with my lifestyle, or so I thought, and by July my life was nothing more than that of a crack whore.
Oh, that explains your rant.
Interesting read, though.

[Michaela]

I know that I will never pass.
I have feminine face, but there is nothing I can do about my length.
But still I have the right to be myself.
Most transgenders and transsexuals have something that give them away, we are not perfect.

The women on this site are very beautiful, but they are as representative for the average trans-woman as the girls in fashion magazine are for the average cis-woman.

Why do you expect us to be perfect? Most cis-women are not.
Beauty exists in many forms, it doesn't need to be perfect.

If you ever meet one of us IRL, I hope that you see the whole human in us, not just somebody for your own sexual desire.

[smc]

Originally Posted by Michaela

I know that I will never pass.
I have feminine face, but there is nothing I can do about my length.
But still I have the right to be myself.
Most transgenders and transsexuals have something that give them away, we are not perfect.

The women on this site are very beautiful, but they are as representative for the average trans-woman as the girls in fashion magazine are for the average cis-woman.

Why do you expect us to be perfect? Most cis-women are not.
Beauty exists in many forms, it doesn't need to be perfect.

If you ever meet one of us IRL, I hope that you see the whole human in us, not just somebody for your own sexual desire.

I can only speak for myself, not other men on this site, but while I certainly enjoy looking at (and even posting some of the) porn here, my attraction to transwomen goes well beyond the exclusively sexual. And I really dislike this term "passable."

I respect and indeed celebrate your right to be yourself. Very well put. And while I agree with you that "beauty exists in many forms" and that it "doesn't need to be perfect," I do not believe that it is imperfect. If beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, than so too must be the "perfection" that is assigned to "beauty." So much that is wrong with how people feel about themselves in this world, especially women, is linked directly to the development of a kind of universal concept of what constitutes "perfect beauty." When the world gets away from that, we will all be better off. Personally, I have never found the girls in a fashion magazine (as you say) more beautiful than "real" women -- and by real, I include all transwomen.

By the way, where you write "there is nothing I can do about my length," I think perhaps you mean "height." I, for one cannot imagine finding it unfeminine if you are especially "long" in a certain place.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by Michaela

I know that I will never pass.
The women on this site are very beautiful, but they are as representative for the average trans-woman as the girls in fashion magazine are for the average cis-woman.

Maybe but one word:
Photoshop.

Erer seen pics of kate moss after a long-haul flight?
& compared to the photos taken on the shoot just done?
Look like totally different people.
Its all makeup & photoshop.

Everyone watch this video:
http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningro...mercials/3421/

That is precisely how it all works. [smoke & mirrors]
So you, chill out & accept yourself,
& your height, about the same as a super-model
& that's good.

[mabedzaqueen]

[QUOTE=Michaela;146532]I know that I will never pass.
But still I have the right to be myself.
Most transgenders and transsexuals have something that give them away.
Why do you expect us to be perfect?

Well Michaela, your post has made some 'food for thought'... especially your heartfelt question 'why do you expect us to be perfect?'
The way I see it, lots of men are exposed to Erotica (and of course porn) at a relatively young age and this may well have a long-term influence on what THEY decide a 'beautiful' girl (or Tgirl) should look like. I've been a 'lurker' at this site for nearly 2 years before I finally decided to jump aboard; I've read lots of posts in many threads and the number of guys who admit having discovered transwomen "while surfing through porn" catches me off-guard...
Thus, one can easily imagine the 50something pervs (like me) who run porn studios hollering to those responsible of the casting, "Alright folks remember: the Hotter the Chicks, the Stiffer the Dicks"! And I'm quite sure the requirements for always prettier Tgirls also prevail in shemale porn.

So my conclusion is rather obvious. The typical, 20something lad who regularly bombards himself with images and movies of cuter-by-the-minute Tgirls will, whether you like it or not Michaela, expect his eventual translover to not stray too far from the 'concept' of beauty that has printed in his brain.
I believe the trick for you will be to find an exception, a guy who'll be able to see the beauty in your soul, your heart, your mind; a guy who's lookin for a PERSON he'll feel good with (regardless the gender); a guy who won't give a shit what people say or think when seen with you by his side...
I wish you the best, Michaela!