Battered women, lots of help, battered tgirls...

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

This is after the "uktony" thing, just so you know (Bionca), and i AM leaving that there, hope you do the same.

So you girls are left fo fend for yourselves no mater what happens...

Not good.


Maby taking martial arts lessons might help?

Like Judo, karate, kung-fu etc.

You could defend yourselves, and anyone that hits a woman is a coward, you fighting back would make him back off and let you leave.

JohnDowe.

What happens in one thread says there. No feelings carried over from another thread.

Yes, self defense can and does help. I grew up a tiny boy in rural America - I had to learn how to be scrappy. I took some kick boxing as I transitioned. I don't know how much it would reduce the cases of DV among trans women, but I do think that more classes targeted at specific groups with in trans communities would be helpful.

Actually some friends were blogging and chatting about this very thing.

Sorry I didn't respond to this sooner - but this topic is really hard for me to discuss sometimes.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

When i stated that i was at a loss for words, it was because i was feeling a bit chocked up about the blatant disregard for tgirls and their safety.

So i understand, even if my perspective is different than yours.

Also, i didn't start this thread to make you or anybody else feel bad, but to address the problem of domestic violence against tgirls.

But about battered gay shelters, if he wanted to find you there, he would have to say that he was gay, so, wouldn't that be samewhat of a deterrant?


As for not responding sooner, well if you couldn't earlyer, you couldn't, but if you post in a thread you should go back and see if it got responded to, i responded to a few of your posts and never got any ansewers.

And if you think i am one of the guys that needs to be swatted, tell me, i won't like it, but i will respect your wishes.


JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

When i stated that i was at a loss for words, it was because i was feeling a bit chocked up about the blatant disregard for tgirls and their safety.

So i understand, even if my perspective is different than yours.

Also, i didn't start this thread to make you or anybody else feel bad, but to address the problem of domestic violence against tgirls.

But about battered gay shelters, if he wanted to find you there, he would have to say that he was gay, so, wouldn't that be samewhat of a deterrant?


As for not responding sooner, well if you couldn't earlyer, you couldn't, but if you post in a thread you should go back and see if it got responded to, i responded to a few of your posts and never got any ansewers.

And if you think i am one of the guys that needs to be swatted, tell me, i won't like it, but i will respect your wishes.


JohnDowe.

John - I swat any who need it, don't worry about that

Yes, this topic is hard for me. However, if it was too hard to talk about I wouldn't have commented. No need to explain your motivations on starting this thread. I think you are honestly trying to get to a solution or process ideas. Which brings me to...

Yes, if the guy wanted to get to me he would have to tell someone he was gay. This might stop some guys, but I don't think many. Heck, guys used to "play gay" to get out of the draft. I would imagine it would be even less of a problem claim gayness to intimidate a T-girl into not pressing charges or to finish the job if your intention was to kill her.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Well, the more i look the more i see that things are difficult for you, but, you seem to be a bit more of a fighter than most trans women, maby you should address this problem with other trans women until a few of them start something to help all trans women, and i realy think it should be started by a trans woman, if only for the trust of confidenciality of status and they could also help "fledgeling" trans women with id and other things, like attitude, make-up, feminine deportement, psychologists, etc., making the trans women community stronger and more freindly.

JohnDowe.

[suebone]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

Well, the more i look the more i see that things are difficult for you, but, you seem to be a bit more of a fighter than most trans women, maby you should address this problem with other trans women until a few of them start something to help all trans women, and i realy think it should be started by a trans woman, if only for the trust of confidenciality of status and they could also help "fledgeling" trans women with id and other things, like attitude, make-up, feminine deportement, psychologists, etc., making the trans women community stronger and more freindly.

JohnDowe.

John,it is very difficult for the most of us.
we take 2 steps forword and get knocked back 3
it's good to see Bionca is a fighter, some of us are not but should be
sue b
(short & sweet)

[johndowe]

Originally Posted by suebone

John,it is very difficult for the most of us.
we take 2 steps forword and get knocked back 3
it's good to see Bionca is a fighter, some of us are not but should be
sue b
(short & sweet)

Hi there.

That is why i started this thread, as a way to help battered trans women, but as we (Bionca and I mostly) discussed the mater it became apparent to me that there HAS TO BE someone that has to speak out and unite the tg comunity into a more cohesive comunity than it is now, right now it is composed of a mass of individuals that do their own thing without any feedback or regards for their fellow sisters, doing your own thing isn't a bad thing in itself, but when there is no real comunity and there is a need for one as ther is here and now, it is not the best way to do things.

Take women's lib movement, it never realy got much respect and didn't accomplish much, why?

Because the leaders were disorganised and some women said some realy stupid thing under the banner of women's lib and the movement lost a lot of credibility.

When there is unity within a comunity, the comunity is well percieved and seen as worthy of respect, but if the comunity is fighting within it's self there is no unity and those who see it get a skewd view of it and they miss the big picture for the petty arguments that they saw.

Within the tg there are petty arguments over almost insignifcant things, like the "real girl" term which is a semantics problem rather than comunity problem, when someone uses the "real girl" to distinguish between a trans woman and a genetic woman, it is for the lack of a better term, or the ignorance of a better therm and the lazyness of looking for one, but it is such a petty thing and yet it divides the tg comunity the same is true for many other terms, and until these petty differences are solved there will not be any (very much needed) unity in the tg comunity, this is the "power of words" it can unite people togather and it can also divide them, that is why a strong leader HAS to emerge, and it HAS to be a member of the comunity a trans woman, but she has to have the support of her fellow sisters and the other member of the comunity, like transvestites, and those who like trans women porn and trans women as long term lovers, but there is a LONG way to go, it won't happen overnight, but there HAS TO BE UNITY, a majority that will assert itself by the members for the members, so that we will be accepted by the other groups, until then we are all individuals with our voice beeing scatered to the 4 winds.

And Sue, if you aren't a fighter, it isn't necesariy a bad thing, and knowing ones strengths and weaknesses is a good thing because you will know waht you can and can't do, as most great generals know, a war isn't won with warriors alone, there are other things that are as important, the warriors have to be fed and suplied with ammo, they have to be able to communicate with the leaders in order to be more effective in battle etc.

I speak in minitary terms because it is a fight we are fighing, a fight to be heard and be accepted and not discriminated against, it is a fight that has to be won, but winning is not that hard, it will take time, and losing is almost not possible, but losing credibility to the point as to being laughing stocks would be the ultimate defeat.

JohnDowe.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

Well, the more i look the more i see that things are difficult for you, but, you seem to be a bit more of a fighter than most trans women, maby you should address this problem with other trans women until a few of them start something to help all trans women, and i realy think it should be started by a trans woman, if only for the trust of confidenciality of status and they could also help "fledgeling" trans women with id and other things, like attitude, make-up, feminine deportement, psychologists, etc., making the trans women community stronger and more freindly.

JohnDowe.

Those are all very good ideas, and I know lots of places the offer self defense training for trans women. There are also some support groups etc. However, transland is not always a nice place and a real community of trans people is only really beginning to form. We need stability and funding as well as those who are willing to help.

[johndowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Those are all very good ideas, and I know lots of places the offer self defense training for trans women. There are also some support groups etc. However, transland is not always a nice place and a real community of trans people is only really beginning to form. We need stability and funding as well as those who are willing to help.

Hi there.

That's good but, is the information made avaliable within the community?

Is there someone that keeps track of those things and where they can go if they need to talk to someone, not necessarily a professionnal but a freindly ear, sometimes the simplest things can make the most difference.

JohnDowe.

For those that are near a major college or university, there is typically an on campus organization that can provide support and counseling. Sometimes even shelter. Here are a few I’m familiar with:

http://spectrumcenter.umich.edu/
http://www.indiana.edu/~glbt/blmgroups1.htm
http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~ally/about.htm

In Detroit, there is the Ruth Ellis Center:

http://www.ruthelliscenter.com/index.htm


Yeah, I’m a “Boilermaker,” “Wolverine,” and “Hoosier.” LOL! What a combination!