Finding a shemale partner

[Cadian122]

Originally Posted by racquel

People online are much more creepy than the people you meet in clubs. People who have the guts to go out at least have a little bit of backbone and are at least sane enough to feign normal social interaction. Your excuses for not wanting to go out and your fear of what your friends would think really imply that you are not comfortable with your own sexuality and are not ready to date a t-girl.





You want to date a t-girl, but you don't have enough money to join a dating site? I'm not saying you need to pay for everything every date, but if $30/mo for a website is out of your budget how do you expect to ever go out?





Don't kid yourself. You're not donating; you're selling. You sell your plasma because it's an easy way to make a little cash, not because you think it's a social responsibility. Just admit that you'd definitely never tell anyone you were with a t-girl.

One nighter? What happened to you wanting a lasting relationship? Now the truth comes out that you just want to fuck a t-girl and you would never actually date one.

A lot of people are in the closet. It's hard to sweep a girl off her feet if you're obviously ashamed of her. Whatever, I can blame social pressures for that. But at least have some respect. What do you think t-girls are? Some lower form of life that will fuck your brains out if you only get the guts up to go to talk to one and get past your fear that they all have HIV?

No its not the fact I'm "Selling" blood, it is a voluntary donation, another is I am a University studemt with little to no cash, so I have to really plan my month/weeks before hand, I find that on the rare occasions I get a date, no matter how much I insist, the girl will go dutch with me. I don't want to just screw a T-Girl, otherwise I'd have gone to the Mars Bar a long time ago, I want a lasting relationship, my problem is I have all these other things that I have to consider, like my blood donations, If you haven't noticed about 1/3 of Victoria in Australia burnt down, and the red cross needs their blood donors, and I have been doing this COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY!!! thing for nearly 5 years, I don't get any money for it, I do it FOR FREE, or OUT OF A DESIRE TO HELP PEOPLE AND PUT BACK INTO MY COMMUNITY! So I have to consider that, mainly beacuse all of the T-Girls I meet only want one nighters, and I am turning them down because I want a lasting relationship, but I want some help finding them who want lasting relationships that is IN MY BUDGET!!! and I don't have a Credit card, because the band didn't approve one. We are not all as rich as you, I am only 21, doing a university degree, barely making ends meet with the hours I get at work, and finding one here in Adelaide is really hard, or haven't you heard of the GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS, or is that completely ignored where you're from.

[Cadian122]

Mon dieu, ces personnes, pensent que cela parce qu'ils sont américains ils possèdent le monde entier.
Mein Gott, diese Leute, denken, dass der, weil sie amerikanisch sind, sie die ganze Welt besitzen.

[racquel]

Originally Posted by Cadian122

I don't want to just screw a T-Girl, otherwise I'd have gone to the Mars Bar a long time ago, I want a lasting relationship...

...all of the T-Girls I meet only want one nighters, and I am turning them down because I want a lasting relationship

Stop lying. You started off by saying how worried you were about what your friends would think if you were dating a TS girl, and then you added that you would be having one-nighters with TS girls if it weren't for your blood donations. Now you're totally changing your story.

I know many TS girls who would love to be in lasting relationships. You would not believe the kind of idiots that TS girls settle for because all they want is someone who loves them and isn't ashamed of them. I simply don't believe that all you can find is girls who want a one night stand.

I was at a bar last night with about 30 TS girls. There were only three guys hitting on girls there. One girl was pretty horny and went and fucked the guy in his car, and he just went straight home without even coming back inside. The other two actually seemed like very nice guys. But when we left that club to go to a more normal club (where they might actually see people they knew), neither of the guys were interested.

I live in the Midwest. Ohio has about 10% unemployment. I've been laid off since November. I'm getting very close to being evicted next month, and I don't know how I'll get the money to move. Businesses around here are extremely conservative. I'm a software engineer and am having trouble finding employment better than a low-paying night shift job in a warehouse where they don't have to worry about the public seeing me. My family are Born Agains that want nothing to do with me. You're not going to get any sympathy from me about the economy or society or how hard your life is.

Originally Posted by Cadian122

(in French/German) My god, these people think that because they are Americans they have the whole world.

You would be embarrassed to be seen with a TS girl. You would be afraid of getting HIV from a TS girl. You're being totally ridiculous and saying TS girls just want one one-nighters. And now you're being totally condescending.

My being American has nothing to do with it (I'd much rather live in Aus or NZ or the UK). You're just an asshole.

[Cadian122]

And you're a condescending bitch. My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years. Also HIV doesn't come into it, I am confident that I practise safe sex to lower the risk of contracting it, and until you come to Adelaide and see for yourself, and prove me wrong, I'd be happy to, but the only ones I have come across, there might be more out there, I just haven't met them, but the ones I have met, have only wanted one nighters, there might be more out there and I haven't met them, and If you're not going to respond with anything constructive, I'd recommend just not posting a reply, because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, there is about 20,000 km between the countries, and things are different. So just beacuse one thing is done in your country, Australia is different, Sydney and Melbourne are where most of the t-girls are, and they're harder to find in Adelaide.

[racquel]

Originally Posted by Cadian122

And you're a condescending bitch.

Thank you. Bitch is much more kind than the other things you've said about TS girls and Americans so far in this thread.

I don't have an agenda to attack you. My feeling is quite the opposite. It would be wonderful if you could someday make a TS girl happy. But the reality is that you don't appear any different from the average guy who likes shemale porn but would never really treat a TS girl like a woman.

All I'm saying is that you obviously have some insecurities about this, and you really need to deal with those issues before you consider any type of long-term relationship.

Originally Posted by Cadian122

My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years.

I'm not saying it's easy. But think about what you're saying. You want to date a TS girl. You say you want a real relationship. But you would be too embarrassed to tell your friends. Do you really think this is fair? How would you feel if you were dating a girl who didn't want to be seen with you -- a girl who could only see you at specific times because she was afraid of her friends knowing you existed? Being in the closet about your attraction doesn't make you a bad person, but attempting to date a girl who you know you'll be embarrassed of does.

Do you realize TS girls are human? Do you have any idea what it feels like for a guy to want to fuck you and tell you he loves you then be too ashamed to even go see a movie with you unless you go to another town? That is what these insecurities lead to, and it is very hurtful.

I apologize that I can't offer you any sympathy. I already lost all the family and friends I had for the first 18 years of my life.

Originally Posted by Cadian122

Also HIV doesn't come into it, I am confident that I practise safe sex to lower the risk of contracting it,

Then why did you bring it up? Please tell us why you can't just keep your sexual partners to yourself like everyone else when you donate blood. How would dating a TS girl morally obligate you to check the "I fuck men" box when you donate? Is that what you think of pre-op girls? They're just men?

Originally Posted by Cadian122

... because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, there is about 20,000 km between the countries, and things are different. So just beacuse one thing is done in your country, Australia is different, Sydney and Melbourne are where most of the t-girls are, and they're harder to find in Adelaide.

So you're sticking to your story that all TS girls in Australia only want one-nighters? Then there are probably a lot of people who would like to visit so they can fuck all the shemales without having to pay escort fees.

I'm not saying Australia is like America, but you're obviously incorrect when you say Australian girls only want to fuck and they don't want relationships. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that?

And again you're attacking my country. What is wrong with you? Most people know that 78% of Americans don't agree with anything our government does. Judging me based on where I live is childish. Maybe you'd have better luck with women if you weren't so anti-social. I never hear Americans saying bad things about Australia, and your country is so backwards that when Americans were landing on the moon in the '60s you had just decided to let Aboriginees vote (and stop stealing their children and locking them up in institutions). Go ahead and stop using The Internet and the GPS satellites that America invented if you hate us so much. I can understand you having a slight inferiority complex when the only contributions you've had to the world are Paul Hogan, Elle MacPherson, Steve Irwin, and the lovely idea of putting cheap wine in a cardboard box, but please just get over yourself. Nobody wants to date someone who always brings up politics at inappropriate times.

[franalexes]

Ditto to the above.
Racquel:respect :

[smc]

Originally Posted by Cadian122

My problem is I lack the tact to tell my mates about this and if I do it wrong I lose my mates who I have known for about 18 years.

I agree with most of what Racquel wrote (although Australia has contributed a bit more than she suggests, but I can certainly see why she picked the things she picked for her illustration). All in all, though, Bravo, Racquel!

But I just want to add, regarding this "problem" of what to tell your mates: let's say you find a tgurl, and you have deep feelings for her. It's not just about sex. Shouldn't your mates just accept it? And if they can't, then are they really mates worth such an investment of your psychic energy?

I am baffled by the fact that people bring these kinds of points up about their so-called friends. Is it just me, or have people forgotten how to use a dictionary. Look up what the word "friend" means. And while you're at it, look up what "unconditional" means in the context of being a true friend.

[racquel]

smc-

I know, I was just kidding around... Australia has a lot more offer than Crocodile Dundee and the invention of box wine.

The whole idea of what makes someone a real friend ... It's complicated. I mean, I had so many good friends growing up. Everybody I ever met seemed to like me. I knew four different people who each considered me to be their best friend.

To make a long story short, all of these people now think I'm literally insane. They feel sorry for me and avoid me. Sometimes I think they're right. I don't think they went from being great friends to being evil people. It's unreasonable to think I'm right and everybody else is wrong. And maybe it's unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with me if my childhood best friends don't want to be seen with me. At least I've done society a favor by sterilizing myself.

I still feel like I'm the same person I always was. After awhile you start to wonder if it's possible to be loved without being understood, though. My former friends definitely don't understand me. Is the problem that the person my friends loved never actually existed? I've only changed on the outside.

People have trouble getting past their prejudices. I'm not sure if that makes them bad people or not. I mean, it's hard for me to convince myself that they were never "real" friends because they couldn't handle my transition. It's definitely depressing.

[smc]

Originally Posted by racquel

The whole idea of what makes someone a real friend ... It's complicated. I mean, I had so many good friends growing up. Everybody I ever met seemed to like me. I knew four different people who each considered me to be their best friend.

To make a long story short, all of these people now think I'm literally insane. They feel sorry for me and avoid me. Sometimes I think they're right. I don't think they went from being great friends to being evil people. It's unreasonable to think I'm right and everybody else is wrong. And maybe it's unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with me if my childhood best friends don't want to be seen with me.

Racquel, for what it's worth, I would be proud to be seen with you. And it is absolutely not unreasonable to want a boyfriend who isn't afraid to be seen with you. In fact, anyone who is afraid should be disqualified.

I was careful not to characterize any "ex"-friends or potential "ex"-mates as evil or bad people. My focus on what it means to be a "friend" is generic for a reason: a friend is a friend is a friend. The inability to maintain a friendship can be explained by all sorts of things, as you know and as you partially recount, but it doesn't make one a bad person. We all have a lot of things to get over: prejudices, conditioning, etc. And they can get in the way of us being friends. But it doesn't change what it means to be a friend.

Originally Posted by racquel

I still feel like I'm the same person I always was. After awhile you start to wonder if it's possible to be loved without being understood, though. My former friends definitely don't understand me. Is the problem that the person my friends loved never actually existed? I've only changed on the outside.

People have trouble getting past their prejudices. I'm not sure if that makes them bad people or not. I mean, it's hard for me to convince myself that they were never "real" friends because they couldn't handle my transition. It's definitely depressing.

Don't forget that the problems your former friends, who were surely "real" friends, have with you now are their problems. Sure, it hurts, but whatever you do, you must not take ownership of their inability to handle your transition. They must own it, along with all the other hangups they carry around that keep them from you.

One other thing: you state that you've "only changed on the outside." I'm sure that's not really true. Isn't it the case that going through your transition brought you some inner peace that you didn't have before? That's surely a change on the inside, and I'm sure a positive one.

[ila]

Originally Posted by Cadian122

And you’re a condescending bitch. .......I'd recommend just not posting a reply, because I would like some help based on my experiences and what I do and not have some puffed-up yank shitting on me, because guess what Australia is NOT America, .......

Originally Posted by racquel

.......and your country is so backwards that when Americans were landing on the moon in the '60s you had just decided to let Aboriginees vote (and stop stealing their children and locking them up in institutions). Go ahead and stop using The Internet and the GPS satellites that America invented if you hate us so much. I can understand you having a slight inferiority complex when the only contributions you've had to the world are Paul Hogan, Elle MacPherson, Steve Irwin, and the lovely idea of putting cheap wine in a cardboard box, but please just get over yourself. Nobody wants to date someone who always brings up politics at inappropriate times.

Enough of the sniping back and forth. It's possible to discuss this subject without resorting to name calling and denigrating other countries and people. Be civilized in your discourse.