funny joke!

[orion]

Don't worry .. that's my fault .. it was posted for the benefit of someone who liked an earlier "Liverpool" joke ..

Liverpool is a large Port City in NW England .. with a bad (sometimes deserved) reputation for thieving ..

"Scallies" is the nick name given by Liverpuddlians to the local "Ne're do wells" (and is a shortening of "Scallywags") ... the kind of youths who steal cars to "joy ride" & then set fire to them .. they also have a reputation for attempting to escape once they've been arrested .. hence the Handcuffs ...

Rally driving tends to be a European Motorsport, involving timed trials over a variety of terrains .. the steering wheels of Rally cars are about half normal size, making the driver's job easier ..

Just put it down to "Brit" humour .. which sometimes doesn't translate easily ..

[ladyboyadmirer]

Originally Posted by orion

Don't worry .. that's my fault .. it was posted for the benefit of someone who liked an earlier "Liverpool" joke ..
Just put it down to "Brit" humour .. which sometimes doesn't translate easily ..

Nicely explained Orion, I'll let you explain this one too

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'.

Roland the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the
measles and my Mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says
there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Irish Shaun, who had just moved to the UK, jumps up and says in a broad Irish accent, "My Dad is painting our new house with a two-inch
brush and my Mum says it will take da contagious".

( da cunt-ages )

[triumph65]

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks a moment and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." :D

Ooops!! I've probably just isolated 50% of the board now...

[orion]

Nice one Admirer ..

Would it have been little Sean's Grandad whilst serving with an Anti-Aircraft Unit in WWII told his Sergeant that he had a "Fokker" caught in the beam of his search light ? ...

The Sergeant looked up & then said .. "No, Paddy .. that Fokker's a Messerschmitt"

And before anyone has a "pop" about Racism .. its not, as I'm of Anglo-Irish descent ...

[orion]

A White Horse walks into a Pub and orders a pint of "Best" ..

The Barman looks at him a bit oddly, then serves him .. after a few moments thought .. the Barman says ... "Here, we sell a Whisky named after you" ...

The Horse looks at him and says .. "Wot .. Eric" ?

[The Conquistador]

Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok!

[plymouth]

3 gay guys walk into a bathroom. one of them goes into a stall and notices cum floating on the water and says "ok, who farted". lol!

[slippyslimm]

haha, thanks for sharing

[Jenae LaTorque]

Oh, I am so sorry. You should have kept one eye closed while you were wacking off. The pics in the magazine weren't in stereo anyway.

[IanC]

Originally Posted by orion

A White Horse walks into a Pub and orders a pint of "Best" ..

The Barman looks at him a bit oddly, then serves him .. after a few moments thought .. the Barman says ... "Here, we sell a Whisky named after you" ...

The Horse looks at him and says .. "Wot .. Eric" ?

Love this joke and hadn't heard/read it in ages.

[ladyboyadmirer]

I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok
recently, to get my testicles checked out.
While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's
normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have!"