I give up

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by Bionca

It's not just about the last two dates. It's the scads of guys who absolutely fail to show up for a date and don't call for weeks (and then expect me to be perfectly ok with what happened and accept "I got nervous" as an excuse). It's the guy who made perfectly clear that he wasn't looking for an escort, and for some reason found it hard to believe I wasn't looking for payment who then detailed what he expected from me sexually and strongly hinted at what type of clothes I should wear.

At work tonight it dawned on me that I really think lots of guys think of Trans*women as "fake" girls or "Substitute" girls, so they take us on "fake" or "substitute" dates. Also, obviously the only connecting point in all of these disasters is..well.. me. So, perhaps I just need to take a gander at what I'm sending out into the world.

BIONCA,

Love is not for the faint of heart, and it's not some storybook event, either. You have to know who you are, and who they are. So-called real girls have the same exact issues as you do: cheap dates, I'll-listen-to-your-BS-to-get-you-in-bed dates, I-want-you-to-dress-for-me dates, not-dressed-for-a-date dates, piece-on-the-side dates, liars, cheaters, sexers, users, etc. That is why you'll hear a lot of women complain about how all men are liars and cheaters, about how all men want is sex.

You may be braver than the men you date, but are you smarter?

How many times have you given up already?

You are partially right about the signal you're sending, but not completely. You need to identify what you want, what you can get, what you'll settle for, what you are worth. Having established that, you need something that sets you apart from the competition. EXAMPLE: Bill had love, marriage and a child w/ Hillary--only sex w/ the others--because she shared his passion for politics. The real you needs to establish your interests to attract a guy who shares those interests, like a Trekkie, for example. Be prepared for a long wait, even one that may never come. Since marriage was no longer a prerequisite for sexual indulgences, the women in this country have a more difficult road to the alter w/ lots of them waiting for a day that eludes them.

There are lots of other things you can do, but I don't want to bore you all the moving parts (not a physical reference).

You seriously need to list where you are from, because it only takes one guy who wants a translady for a relationship from your corner of the world. Say Queens, NY (pun intended), and that's a big area w/ no specific address, but a guy who's interested might realize that you are not on the other side of the country. It also eliminates someone who is. This forum has men who want that type of relationship, if they are to be believed.

Remember, no one has ever said it would be easy.

I could have said don't give up, you're so cute; but you need more than a shoulder to cry on.

Well, good hunting, Sweetest Heart.