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#1
05-25-2008
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Fewer people have the balance between shemale fantasy and transwoman reality. Shemale porn is just as unrealistic, in some cases laughably so. The counter for most isn't there because they don't know if they know trans women. Or the Transwomen they do know don't pass very well. So, I don't have issue with fantasy or porn. I'm just happier when I'm not expected to act like I'm in one. 
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#3
05-25-2008
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Quote:
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 Yeah I always thought of that. The guy is all hairy and looks like he has a keg hidden in his belly!Quote:
On 2nd thoughts, I say there is a serious need for mass awareness. The Ts subject is still hush-hush, even though the society boasts to be "modern" and "scientific".
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#4
05-25-2008
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Please elaborate.
On 2nd thoughts, I say there is a serious need for mass awareness. The Ts subject is still hush-hush, even though the society boasts to be "modern" and "scientific".[/QUOTE] Well, the goal for your average Transgendered woman is to pass undetected daily as a genetic woman. In short, those who can "pass" do - it's called "deep stealth" or "Woodworked". It about safety and simply maintaing a "normal" life. I'm currently living in a large city the middle of Ohio and if every Transwoman and man that I know suddenly revealed their status the city would turn on it's ear. That's not counting the Part-Time Cross Dresser and kinky Transvestites either. The issue is really one of awareness and is related to the gay movement. In the 70's all you saw about gay men and lesbians were images of people who were steriotypical "flaming queens" or "butch" gals. They were shown as murders or victems who in some waydiserved to be punished. With Transwomen, until recently, we were shown as being hookers, or predatory decevers who try to trick men into sleeping with us (a common porn fantasy too). Either that or we are the pathetic helpless victem. Obviously there are some exceptions. It's a steep uphill battle when our shared community is most commonly shown on the Jerry Springer Show (A particularly scandalous "talk" show in the US). Even with science showing more and more that gender identity is not created by the formation of genetalia, people still view this as a choice or a mental problem at best, a sexual kink as worst. We need the scientific community to get off it's collective bottoms, for Transwomen to feel safe enough to be honest, and for the men and women who date us to be secure and safe enough to challenge society. /rant off
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#5
05-25-2008
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I Think That !
It is not that easy, societies - even the most so called modern ones - are still not ready to face these issues, because they are preoccupied with lots of other matters, so they tend to just look the other way...
__________________
I want to hide in an opium sunrise...
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#6
05-25-2008
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/rant on pls
An innocent question; did you graduate with "contemporary history"?  The hooker issue is due to the porn industry. People mostly associate Tgs with sex icons. And I know what you mean about the fanciful scenario of shemales trying to entice men by deception. "Tranny-surprise" and such like are very successful websites rooted to that fantasy. Quote:
For the general mass, the physical form is all that is true, the mental reality is still "not scientific enough". After all you cannot touch the mind, or see it or put it in a test tube! But may be, just may be there is a very slow shift towards acceptance of psychological concepts. Last edited by sesame; 05-25-2008 at 08:01 PM.
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#7
05-25-2008
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True
True True...
__________________
I want to hide in an opium sunrise...
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#9
05-25-2008
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OK you guys are really sweet.. thanks
 I graduated with a degree in Social Work, with a minor in Anthropology (don't ask). The hooker issue is also in part because, well for lots of us it's the best option for money. Hormones aren't cheep and aren't covered by most insurance (particularly for the younger girls), any feminization surgeries are also VERY expensive and not covered. There is little legally that can be done if you get fired after anouncing you are going to transition, and having the appearance of a woman, but the paperwork of a man makes it hard to get a proper job. So, escorting is a way to get by, particularly for poor women. It's a catch 22, we are thought of as hookers and treated as such, we often have to become hookers because we can't get another job that would pay even close. Science is actually starting to show some physical indications that gender identity is "hard wired" in the brain. A few years ago a doctor did autopsies on some post-op women and looked at their brains. He found that the structure of the brain was identical to genetic women's. The sample size was too small to make anything conclusive (only 6 people), but 100% of them had the same structural differances from male brains. For example, the portion of the brain that deals with language is larger in women than men, and the connections between the right and left sides are more developed in women. Given that the brain is fully developed well before sex organs are developed, this would seem to confirm that many transwomen are correct when we say we "have always been women". The more this is studied as a medical condition rather than a "disorder", I think the more we will discover. The more we discover, the more comfortable people will be and the more people will understand that some girls are born with an innie and some are born with an outie.
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#10
05-27-2008
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My opinion on the matter...
Bionica I have to say after reading that rant, that if thats what you expect you are gonna be let down, its true what you are saying however we cant expect society to change like that. Instead to find happiness you find it in a few people who all understand you, if you think about it thats pretty much why this foruym exists. Many of us, I am assuming, probably don't reveal our love for transexuals to our family or friends. So we vent here, just like there are transexual clubs gay ckubs etc. The idea is think globablly act locally, in other words its good to have the viewpointsthat you have, (your idea about science needed to make a stand about the issue and all), but just try to consolidate it amongst a few good people. And if those people love you and care about you sal gooood, you know what i mean?
And Bionica I think you should no problem find someone good for you, by what I read in this thread you are a smart gal, your more than just a pretty face. Anyways I hope you find what you are looking for
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#11
05-27-2008
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Sex= the physical appearence aquired by birth Gender= mental makeup which tells you whether you are male or female irrespective of the biological sexual organs you possess. If the above is true, then YES, gender is psychological. It is an acquired condition, which is fully influenced by my personal history (experiences), social interaction, independent thinking, environment and of-course physical condition (including hormone balance prevailing the body)
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#12
05-27-2008
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By biological differences you must include the internal organs and the hormones secreted or ingested; Because that can radically modify the physiological mechanism of a human being.
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#14
05-27-2008
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The question being posed by some scientists is if gender identity has a physiological componant. It is hard to determine because we can only express identity in emotional or psychological terms "I FEEL like a woman", "I have never been COMFORTABLE as a man", "I don't RELATE to my body". The words sound subjective because science has not determined if, in fact, men and women are actually fundimentally different mentally and emotionally, or if our ideas of what it is to FEEL like a man/woman are purely artifical and used to prop up gender roles and "appropriate" gendered behaviors. So far the best evidence is saying that our gender identity can be influenced by hormone levels in the womb, and also by post natal hormone levels. An example (that fits with the theme of this site) would be a Thai Ladyboy who identified as male, but due to economic reasons started to take hormones to make money as a "bar girl". Estrogen will affect us physically and emotionally and over a few years some "male identified" ladyboys will honestly say they "Feel like women" and some even opt for sex reassignment surgery or stay as a ladyboy long after their profitability as a "bar girl" is long past. Still other (like myself) simply never considered that we were male. I'd tell everyone I was a girl, I'd get in arguements with adults who'd call me a boy. This was happening in very early childhood - before age 5. My mother even wrote my first teacher to warn her that "He sometimes thinks he's a girl". So, simply from my own history, the idea that high levels of estrogen were present as my brain was forming makes sence. Essentailly that Gender Identity as a physical/biological cause.
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#16
06-01-2008
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Wow
"My only really carved in stone expectations are respect, understanding, and honesty. Ideally one would play around with the particulars of personality during the dating part."
"Personally, I'd rather be treated like a person you want to impress (on the first few dates). Not like someone you are obligated to take out for drinks just so you can get in her panties." The first thing I quoted there is, in my eyes, absolutely true for any relationship. Your three minimum requirements are very feasible, which when coupled with the fact that you don't have a preconceived notion of personality makes your search seem headed in the right direction. The second quote just makes me tingle. You are a person first, a woman second. Anyone who bypasses the first is not worth your time nor energy. And probably would be too self obsessed to do anything worthwhile were they to get into your panties. In reading the previous posts, it's obvious that many think that you are beautiful. I agree. But your inner beauty is what really shines after reading this thread. Though you may not know who, and he may not know yet at all, I'm sure that you will find someone to love and cherish you for who you are, and not what you are. (Physical) beauty is only skin deep and I am convinced from the intelligent, honest and overall realistic way that you have described yourself that yours goes far, far further than a few layers of skin. I wish you all the luck in the world, though with your impressive list of activities (what guy wouldn't want a beautiful girlfriend who loves to play video games?) and that beautiful smile, I'm sure my well-wishing will not be what gets you where you're going.
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#17
06-02-2008
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Well, what are the odds...
I went to a gay club with my gayboy friends. I have no intention of meeting anyone, just having a good time with fun people and good music. Well... I met a fella  Total Straight friend of a friend thing. He was in the club with a couple of his pals who had dated a couple of my friends. We all hung out and he finally told me he had never seen such a natural looking Drag Queen. After I composed myself after nearly falling over laughing, I thanked him for the compliment and told him I was a Transsexual. He asked about my operation status (no op as yet and maybe never) along with some "get to know" conversation. He was funny charming and ... CUTE! We went to breakfast (all of us) and he offered to take me home. Now momma didn't raise no dummy, and I have been sex-less for the better part of a year. I also kinda liked him since he didn't focus on my crotch in conversation and was really silly (humor really turns me on). We went to his place... and talked more and watched the sun rise. He confessed that he was curious about "special girls", but wasn't gay. He was shy and awkward and there was a mixture of eagerness and apprehension. Here I had a 28 yearold ex-marine acting like a smitten schoolboy. After some reassurances on my part and some gentle coaxing kisses I allowed him to explore my body with his hand and lips. We found ourselves eventually quite compatible sexually. We spent the rest of Sunday together drinking coffee and generally "hanging out".
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#19
06-02-2008
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 that's HOTTTT. So what does "with his hands and lips" mean hahah. Great post
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#21
06-02-2008
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I think I might be getting the hang of the way this works inasmuch the way the thread works. I'm bright but I'm not real smart
 Very intersting line of dialogue... from physics to relationships. I guess you can't have one without the other. I have to say I'm relieved to have found this forum because now I can see that there is a clear yet un-defined group of people who appreciate and are attracted to, whether sexually or not, transgender people. By un-defined I only mean that I know people who are gay and I know people that are bi and when I tell them I'm attracted to a woman with a penis, it kind of confuses them and although they obviously don't judge me... it's still different to them where their lifestyle would be considered alternative. Hmmm... I think that made sense!  I'd like to hear thoughts on that because if I need to be corrected in my terminology or attitude, I'd like to know. I've always tried to live my life with an open mind but amazingly ignorance will rear it's ugly head and I'll say something stupid and offend someone. So my apologies... your welcome to blast me if you want.
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#22
06-02-2008
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Each time we moved from one part of the body to the next, he was calmer. Between each pregression I gave him a long soft kiss to punctuate that nothing hapening was the least bit homosexual. Except the part where half my lipstick rubbed off on his lips. I find that some teasing and coaxing with kisses tends to put guys at ease
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#25
06-17-2008
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Oh my, hope I'm not too late and have missed you, Bionca! You see, I happen to be a 19 y/o male from Ohio. Do you know the Mansfield area? That's where I'm located...anyway, if you'd like to get in touch, please reply to this and I can send a PM with my email address.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
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#26
06-17-2008
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Justme.. I'm here posting away. After my last two guys I'm a little gun-shy, but still open to meeting a nice fella. I am very well aware of Mansfield - my mom grew up close to there and I probably have family there also.
If nothing else a new Internet friend will be a welcome addition to my life.
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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#27
07-19-2008
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im married im bi and my wife is cool with it are u ok with married guys or do u like haveing a person all to your self. if you dont mind shareing i wouldnt give a damn to take u out show you to all my friends and kiss u in front of them those other guys didnt have any balls you have to be honest with your self and u do that the problems are thiers not yours that guy didnt complain when yall were screwing did he remeber that and dont give up if you dont want to date me or just dont have the time cause i live in tennesse at least call me we could turn out to be good friends cause every one needs to talk sometime 931-779-5545
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#28
07-19-2008
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Sesame.. you nutty fella!!!
You know I both you and Hank
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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#29
07-19-2008
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I don't generally call guys without getting to know them first. Hope you understand, particularly since I'm living with my brother and his family . Safety first! :D
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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#30
07-19-2008
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SOS Busy Bee
I can manage, but Hank is really screwed.
He needs mouth to mouth resuscitation.  You must save his life! 
__________________
Your life is unique, cherish it. Do something with your life.
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#31
07-19-2008
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Quote:
__________________
Your life is unique, cherish it. Do something with your life.
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#32
07-19-2008
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Quote:
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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#34
07-21-2008
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Warning for a Tornado
Bionca,
I hope that pet tornado is doing well in your back yard. In the meantime, Hank here is getting restless. He adores you, wants to charm you, kiss you, want you and Love you. H  BIn fact he has gone crazy over you... Head over heels... all the way. I mean, he is such a romantic! Anyway, welcome back... I hope to see you pretty soon. ~s
__________________
Your life is unique, cherish it. Do something with your life.
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#35
07-21-2008
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Hanky,
My dear friend, or better, Mr. Romeo! I would advice you to read this. Thats my idea of internet relationships. They seldom measure up to anything real. Also, I have a feeling that nowadays, people are running away from long-term relations.Hank, you are a man of honour in the field of romance. 
__________________
Your life is unique, cherish it. Do something with your life.
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#36
07-24-2008
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Hank.. you are too much.. you and Sesame both are such an ego boost!! Well you and so many of the other guys here. It's nice that so many of you all have taken time to write me, and try to get to know me and shared some of yourselves with me.
I'm humbled and honored... with TLB ...
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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#37
09-22-2008
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Dont Worry Bionca....things will eventually unravel and work themselves out. When you stop looking, thinks kinda come to you. Life is weird like that.
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#38
09-23-2008
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look and up,thx
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Hybrid Mode
