Sad transexual on HBO's Taxicap Confession

[davecess]

Originally Posted by jolo

That sad thing was that even though the boyfriend looks at his Transsexual girlfriend as a feminine women, yet, she was telling the cab driver that she doesn't view herself as a woman. Why ???? Because she can't give birth to a child, "she cannot make life", so she will never be a woman. Being a women is a LOT more than being able to get pregnant.

I found it sad that she was obviously loved and accepted by her boyfriend, yet rejected part of herself because she couldn't conceive.

There are many thousands of natural born women, that for various reasons, cannot give birth or cannot give birth safely. From personal experience (I am a guy), I know that at times, those women can feel depressed and struggle with their identity because of this (my ex-wife).

I would like to know what others might think or say to the Transsexual woman who was on the show.

Jon

I don't understand her point of view. My own sister can't bear children due to a medical condition but no one thinks she is any less of a woman because of it. Obviously the TS lady in the taxi has emotional issues. I agree it's sad to hear about cases like this.

Originally Posted by davecess

I don't understand her point of view. My own sister can't bear children due to a medical condition but no one thinks she is any less of a woman because of it. Obviously the TS lady in the taxi has emotional issues. I agree it's sad to hear about cases like this.

I think part of it is as Bionca pointed out, that fact is used maliciously against transwomen. I’ve even seen it used on this forum in a few postings.

This is what Bionca had to say:

Knowing all this, it still feels like a slap when someone brings it up. It is the one thing that no surgery, no pills, nothing will be able to fix. It's the single slippery rug under my feet that can be pulled out at any time to justify why I'm not a "real *enough* woman".

Bionca, I'm sorry someone would say that to you or anybody else...

[true_lyfe]

Originally Posted by davecess

I don't understand her point of view. My own sister can't bear children due to a medical condition but no one thinks she is any less of a woman because of it. Obviously the TS lady in the taxi has emotional issues. I agree it's sad to hear about cases like this.

i don't think it's necessarily indicative of emotional issues - childbirth is a huge part of female identity, it's fairly common for women who cannot give birth to experience some emotional trauma because of it. it's certainly sad - i suppose the hope is they someday find other ways to become mothers, as therein lies the true source of fulfillment. there are plenty of children in this world who could use a proper home.

[jolo]

Originally Posted by true_lyfe

i don't think it's necessarily indicative of emotional issues - childbirth is a huge part of female identity, it's fairly common for women who cannot give birth to experience some emotional trauma because of it. it's certainly sad - i suppose the hope is they someday find other ways to become mothers, as therein lies the true source of fulfillment. there are plenty of children in this world who could use a proper home.

true_lyfe,
Fantastic post. I couldn't agree with you more. Something we don't know is what occurred to fir the TS to feel that way.
I think it is a general woman's issue for those who cannot have children, than a TS issue.

I had two children (now 26 and 23), from my first marriage, who I had full custody of, since they were 2 and 5.
MY second wife and I had a baby that for random reasons that had nothing to do with either of our genes, had severe abnormalities and died late in the pregnancy.

The bottom line is that my wife felt that she was "less than a woman", as she saw my other two healthy boys. Since then I became more aware of many women feeling terribly desperate to have a child if for some reason she can't, temporarily or permanently. I very much understand the feelings.

I can relate to my feelings of being "less than a man", when I lost my job after it was off shored.

I was very impressed on how the boyfriend in that episode was so supportive and how much he cared for her and I hope that something could occur that can alter her thoughts, as giving birth being the only definition of what a woman is.

Jon

[racquel]

It's always seemed a little strange to me that most TS women don't seem to care about not being able to have kids. I went to a lot of support group meetings for a few years, and I think I was the only one who even mentioned it.

But I guess in the US there are a lot of TS people who transition later in life and actually had kids earlier. I've always been a little horrified of the idea of being a father ... which actually makes me feel like my depression over never being able to get pregnant is more of a selfish desire to feel more feminine than a maternal instinct, since if I just wanted a baby then I probably should've been a father instead of permanently sterilizing myself with female hormones.

I've often wanted to ask genetic women if they could choose between being a childless woman or having to live life as a man which one they would pick, but it seems like a creepy question to ask.

Creating life and feeling that bond with your child seems like such a major part of being a woman, and sometimes I do obsess about it. Hopefully I'll be able to adopt in a few years and get to experience some of that.

My partner has three children and it does contribute to me feeling like less of a woman.