How important is passable/female identity?

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

It is easy to downplay the importance people place on passability as "superficial" and "shallow".

Now imagine this: you live your life as a woman, and with every daily outing you are clocked and stared at, like a spectacle, hopelessly male and not passing. People are merciless in their stares and their judgments. That is a transsexuals's worst nightmare. Ansd she will avoid it at any cost.

So I disagree. Passability is HUGE and becoming fully passable is expensive and painful. I have gone through the procedures and am still having more work done. Some respect should be given to those of us who did the hard work, not for superficial reasons but because we believe we became the woman we felt like inside.

Nono, you misread me. I'm in no way critisizing any one for striving for passability, perfection or any thing that is important to them. On the contrary I salute it completely. And yes, I realize of course the importance of the socalled passability.

My point goes to other aspects as well, though. Firstly, I don't find it fair when obvious pretty, gorgeous and "passable" trans-women look down on their less fortunate sisters. Secondly, I believe that gender identification is just as important for the less fortunate one than for the passable one.

My immensely wise (and extraordinarily beautiful and passable) x once said that "to be a succesful transsexual you must to some extent not only accept but actually cherish your masculinity". There's a lot of truth in that.

But again, transsexuality is as difficult to categorize and generalize as most things - probably even more so. I've found almost as many approaches to being transsexual as I've met trans-women.

My other x (equally extraordinarily gorgeous and passable) said it in another way: "I'm not at all aiming at becoming a "real" woman - I'm totally happy at being a very unique, transsexual woman". She certainly is!

Again, it's very personal and individual.

But basicly I fully understand and partly agree with your "abstract".

H