Why???

Bionca · #1 05-25-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankhavelock

Breen, my man, you also say that you are married. I don't think that many women, who wants something beyond sex, are necessarily too comfortable with that. That goes for cis* as well as trans*women.

It's completely cool that you say it out, but what is it you want from a trans*woman? Is it merely a sexual escapade, or are you willing to leave your wife and get involved seriously with another woman? A trans*woman?

If this is merely curiousity, which is completely ok, then make sure that you come out in the open with it once you have your first date with a trans*woman.

Trans*women may be tough (because they have to be), but they are also the most fragile beings exactly because of their honesty. So don't play around with them. If you want a trans*woman then go for her, but decide from the start what you want her for and, please, tell her...

Best wishes

H

what you said Hank

breen · #2 05-25-2009

i know what your saying Hank thats why im being honest and saying i am married... bet alot of guys on here are married and not saying... im reall y attracted to TS women but iv never had the pleasure of meeting one... thats the big problem.. i cant make any decisions about anything until i meet and talk to a TS girl to see how i feel about it. of course id love to try the sex bit lol but i think getting to know my feeling about it is the main thing i have to understand first.. do i make sense???

Bionca · #3 05-25-2009

Here was a letter sent to sex columnist, Dan Savage on March 26 2009. It should serve as a cautionary tale to the curious and attached. Now, imagine if the gal in question wasn't a pro? Having been on the receiving end of post-sexual "nausea" it frankly stinks on ice - particularly since I'm not a "pro" and guys love to promise the sun moon and stars to get gals into the sack.

Quote:

I’m a 24-year-old guy, and I just got a blowjob from (and gave a half-assed one to) a transsexual male-to-female prostitute. It was no accident: I’d spent about two years looking at TS porn (as well as regular guys-doing-it-with-girls porn), and the whole thing seemed like a hot idea. But the plastic-surgery scars around her tits and her cock in my mouth kind of made me nauseated. I went through the motions only because I didn’t have the guts to walk out. (We both had condoms on.)

I’m not sure if I can face my girlfriend of a year. I’ve been faithful to her until now, and I feel like crying. I don’t know if it’s because it was illegal (prostitution), because I was cheating on her (unfaithful), or because I can’t say I’m totally straight anymore (cock in my mouth). I don’t know how to tell my girlfriend. She knows I look at porn, but she doesn’t know I look at TS porn—no one does.

> Regrets About Gay Experience

breen · #4 05-26-2009

hey Bionca xx well ok but at the bottom it says "regrets about gay experience" i dont look at it as being gay now.. i admit i wasnt sure but after talking to some people on here i know now im not gay...but surely you have to experience something to know if its for you or not...

Bionca · #5 05-26-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by breen

hey Bionca xx well ok but at the bottom it says "regrets about gay experience" i dont look at it as being gay now.. i admit i wasnt sure but after talking to some people on here i know now im not gay...but surely you have to experience something to know if its for you or not...

Well, Dan Savage's readers like to sign their letters in ways that make acronyms, thus "regrets about gay experience" = "RAGE" (sweet huh?). I'm making the point that there may be consequences in a very real very emotional way for guys who are in relationships. Heck, I've been with guys who were not attached, had been jerking off to shemale porn "for ever", and were very sincere in a desire to explore something with a gal like me.

I've been in the position of that guy's little experiment (although I didn't charge - maybe I should have). A person knows if someone they have been with is disgusted with being intimate with them. It really sucks to be in that position. I have even (stupidly) apologized after sex with a guy who minutes after gobbling the cock couldn't look in my direction. What was I apologizing for - (ashamed to admit it) I was apologizing for having my body, for existing, and mostly because on some level me existing in my body was disturbing to some other person who minutes before was "living his dream".

I'm not saying that anyone should NOT date/screw/whatever a trans* woman. I am asking that guys seriously THINK about it.

breen · #6 05-27-2009

ok i know what you mean... but i really have to try it to know... as they say " suck it and see" ... probably will never happen for me anyway.. being in scotland , this country doesnt seem to have many TS girls..

racquel · #7 05-26-2009

Quote:

I don't know if it's because it was illegal (prostitution), because I was cheating on her (unfaithful), or because I can't say I'm totally straight anymore (cock in my mouth). I don't know how to tell my girlfriend. She knows I look at porn, but she doesn't know I look at TS porn-no one does.

> Regrets About Gay Experience

I guess it's good to see someone honestly put those feelings in writing. The major problem I see is:

- The guy is homophobic.

- The guy is stupid. He's a straight guy with a girlfriend, and he's had no problem looking at TS porn for two years. If it made him feel so guilty to actually do it then I'm sure he felt some of that guilty simply from constantly masturbating to TS porn. He should've known better.

- Obviously the only thing he should really be feeling guilty about is cheating on his girlfriend!

- What's this about "I don't know how to tell my girlfriend"? This is another example of someone using the excuse of "trying to be honest" to make himself feel less guilty. Telling his girlfriend will just make her feel bad, and it will probably end the relationship. If he wants to end the relationship he should just end it. If he wants to stay with his girlfriend he's going to have to live with the guilt of cheating on her for the rest of his life. How to tell her isn't his biggest problem. It isn't even close. It would probably be best to never tell her, but he's just a wimp who wants to make himself feel better.

What I find really disturbing is that we have a guy who's totally fixated on having a cock in his mouth. For all I know he actually is gay and he just has so much self-loathing that he can't admit it. You spend most of your spare time staring at a cock on your computer screen while jerking your own cock with your hand. Who cares if you actually had a cock in your mouth for a minute while giving some poor hooker the worst blowjob of her life?

hankhavelock · #8 05-26-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by racquel

I guess it's good to see someone honestly put those feelings in writing. The major problem I see is:

- The guy is homophobic.

- The guy is stupid. He's a straight guy with a girlfriend, and he's had no problem looking at TS porn for two years. If it made him feel so guilty to actually do it then I'm sure he felt some of that guilty simply from constantly masturbating to TS porn. He should've known better.

- Obviously the only thing he should really be feeling guilty about is cheating on his girlfriend!

- What's this about "I don't know how to tell my girlfriend"? This is another example of someone using the excuse of "trying to be honest" to make himself feel less guilty. Telling his girlfriend will just make her feel bad, and it will probably end the relationship. If he wants to end the relationship he should just end it. If he wants to stay with his girlfriend he's going to have to live with the guilt of cheating on her for the rest of his life. How to tell her isn't his biggest problem. It isn't even close. It would probably be best to never tell her, but he's just a wimp who wants to make himself feel better.

What I find really disturbing is that we have a guy who's totally fixated on having a cock in his mouth. For all I know he actually is gay and he just has so much self-loathing that he can't admit it. You spend most of your spare time staring at a cock on your computer screen while jerking your own cock with your hand. Who cares if you actually had a cock in your mouth for a minute while giving some poor hooker the worst blowjob of her life?

I think you're being a little bit harsh now, Raquel... personally I never really cared much about what ever labels folks wanted to pin on me (they did it anyway and keep doing it), but I never really thought that being in love with a female penis is particularly "gay". It may have some degree of bisexuality in it, I really don't know, but the fact remains that a guy should be allowed to enjoy his woman's good penis without being harrassed... ;-)

I love you!

H

racquel · #9 05-26-2009

I didn't mean it was gay. My point is that actually being with a TS hooker certainly isn't any more gay than looking at shemale porn and masturbating every day for two years. If he didn't feel bad about all that porn then why did he freak out about the hooker? How can a guy who stares at cock and touches his cock every day have such a revulsion towards cock?

hankhavelock · #10 05-26-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by racquel

I didn't mean it was gay. My point is that actually being with a TS hooker certainly isn't any more gay than looking at shemale porn and masturbating every day for two years. If he didn't feel bad about all that porn then why did he freak out about the hooker? How can a guy who stares at cock and touches his cock every day have such a revulsion towards cock?

Dear, I agree with you totally... I was merely trying to be a bit funny... I guess I ain't a succesful comedian :-(

But seriously, I have no idea, what's truly going on in guys' minds. In many ways I have always found it easier to get a glimpse of sanity from what's going on in the transsexual mind and I guess that's why I prefer transsexual friends... because they seem to be more logical in that special Asian emotional way that I adore so completely and that has beecome part of my own mindset.

As you said somewhere above, the fascination of cock is apparently a problem for most men. The question of being gay returns constantly, and I guess it always will. Neither you nor I can really do much more (which is important enough) than explaining the mechanisms of gender-orientation versus sexual orientation and patiently repeat the facts of all these COMPLICATED matters.

It's repetitive and tirering, but I guess it's necessary.

The gays have spent 40 years making their case - all we can do now is to start making a worthy trans*case...