Married but into shemales?

[silverback]

I'm very grateful to have found this forum, as it has helped me see that I'm not a total freak for loving shemales.

I'm straight, married with a son, but have been into shemales for the last 10 years or so, since long before I met my wife.

She doesn't know, and neither does anyone else....and they never will if I can avoid it.

I fantasize about meeting the TS of my dreams one day, but don't really want to cheat on my wife - in short I'm a bit conflicted. How many other guys are in my situation? Do you have any advice for me?

Fortunately I live in a place where the only shemales around are some not very attractive 'professional girls' so I haven't been tempted to stray and I'm still a virgin (so to speak).

[Imconfused]

Originally Posted by silverback

I'm very grateful to have found this forum, as it has helped me see that I'm not a total freak for loving shemales.

I'm straight, married with a son, but have been into shemales for the last 10 years or so, since long before I met my wife.

She doesn't know, and neither does anyone else....and they never will if I can avoid it.

I fantasize about meeting the TS of my dreams one day, but don't really want to cheat on my wife - in short I'm a bit conflicted. How many other guys are in my situation? Do you have any advice for me?

Fortunately I live in a place where the only shemales around are some not very attractive 'professional girls' so I haven't been tempted to stray and I'm still a virgin (so to speak).

I know everyone comes here to vent...but if you ever want a female pov on anything, feel free to ask me...you have all helped me out a bunch and I appreciate it so much

[tlover]

Join the pack, silverback.
You've been hiding this secret a long time, ive been into tgirls for about 3 years and I'm with my gf for about 15, i do not want her to find out, i wouldn't want to hurt her, but i think i will cheat one day if i find a nice tgirl, same for me i cant find a decent one, few around.
I reckon if you are honest you will too, if tempted.
Imagine a very sexy shemale of your dreams comes into your life, you think you could go with her and you wife would be none the wiser, do you really think you could resist.
I know would find it very hard, yes its difficult conflict.

[silverback]

TLover, I believe you are absolutely right. I only wish I had known that there were so many others like me out there years ago - I might have made some different decisions about where to go with my life. But, that's just hindsight - no point complaining about the past.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and adore my son and have no regrets in that regard, but sometimes it troubles me that I have this secret itch which I can't scratch due to having personal responsibilities and other people's feelings to consider.

[tlover]

Originally Posted by Imconfused

I know everyone comes here to vent...but if you ever want a female pov on anything, feel free to ask me...you have all helped me out a bunch and I appreciate it so much

You should make a thread for questions to you imconfused, mabey - Your questions a female point of view on shemales. - just a suggestion.
I have one - how would my gf feel if she found out i like shemales, how would she or her feelings change towards me.
I now you cant really answer for my gf but maybe you would have an idea, since you've been through it yourself.

[shemalesurgeon]

Maybe this will help buddy! The fact that im not bad looking and that i live in south florida where there are lots of shemales, i have been fortunate to meet many shemales. What i have realized over the years is that the real life experiences were dissapointing next to what i had fantasized behind the computer screen! Ofcourse not everyone will be the same as me but just keep that in mind!
My next goal is to go to Thailand so i can experience a ladyboy!

[tlover]

Originally Posted by silverback

TLover, I believe you are absolutely right. I only wish I had known that there were so many others like me out there years ago - I might have made some different decisions about where to go with my life. But, that's just hindsight - no point complaining about the past.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and adore my son and have no regrets in that regard, but sometimes it troubles me that I have this secret itch which I can't scratch due to having personal responsibilities and other people's feelings to consider.

I know were your coming from, im afraid I'm the type to cheat as i have been tempted a couple of times by very sexy normal girls in the past and have not been able to resist, mabey your not the type, but i doubt it, i think most men cannot resist when temptation is handed on a plate.
I think it will be no different with tgirls, personally i am very eager to live out my tgirl fantasy and feel the need to get relief, so to speak.
You have responsibilities and others feelings to consider but i reckon if that attractive tgirl comes your way the urge to scratch that Itch will totally take over and your need to consider others will be forgotten.

[tlover]

Originally Posted by shemalesurgeon

Maybe this will help buddy! The fact that im not bad looking and that i live in south florida where there are lots of shemales, i have been fortunate to meet many shemales. What i have realized over the years is that the real life experiences were dissapointing next to what i had fantasized behind the computer screen! Ofcourse not everyone will be the same as me but just keep that in mind!
My next goal is to go to Thailand so i can experience a ladyboy!

Your right there ive been with some normal girls were ive fantizesd about them for ages and when it came to the real thing it was a big let down.
Sometimes the fantasy is much bigger and better than real life, no doubt its the same with tgirls.
However the fantasy for me is now so great i need to try it, i cannot go to my grave without the expereance, life is for living, if it's not so great in reality so what, at least i can say i gave it a go.
The only regret in life ive ever really had is to regret the things i haven't done, not the things i have.

[Imconfused]

I don't know how "into" shemales my boyfriend is but if he fantasizes about being with one someday, I can tell you this...I know he would take the chance to do it because one...well He got a letter from an ex girlfriend about 5 months ago and also a porno dvd ( not shemales it was called back door bangers though) so anyways Being at home during the day, she had left it between the screen door and the door and she didn't seal it all the way. I saw her put it there and when she left I looked at it. Well when my boyfriend got home (I was sleeping) he opened it and obviously read it because the number she left in there, was then on the cell phone bill...several times. Then once while he was trying to call her..I over heard..I asked him about it and he said she had left a note blah blah blah and no name so he wanted to know who it was. I don't believe his excuse, (plus he has a pic of them kissing under lock and key) so I feel that if he ever did come across a shemale, if he hasn't already, he would take the chance...If that ever becomes the case, Yes I will leave him. I can accept that he has fantasies about shemales and he jerks off to shemales, but I can not accept him physically being with one. (as that would be cheating on me ) I love Nicholas Cage but if he ever came to my front door naked the most I would do is ask for an autograph maybe say damn then move on. but not before I got my camera...lol
Where we met there were a few shemales in the area...so he could have already... that's different we weren't "together" yet.

[mobiryder]

all in due time my friend... dont do what you dont want to do.. its perfectly healthy to fantasize... life is short, enjoy it to the fullest!

[Studio Audience]

i think about this a lot. i want to have an experience (no real penetration, just sucking and jerking) but im conflicted morally and emotionally.

[eliogabalo]

I don't like a double-life. I want to marry a shemale.

[mobiryder]

btw, im married since 1 year and have had to slow down with the trannies, but i slip away every now and then to 'get my fill' so to speak

[Studio Audience]

Originally Posted by mobiryder

btw, im married since 1 year and have had to slow down with the trannies, but i slip away every now and then to 'get my fill' so to speak

do you go out and meet somebody or are they only a phone call away?

[haventhadityet]

I'm really glad I signed up for this board. A lot of questions I already have are being discussed.
This is a tear in my life also. I think best case scenario, I could try it, not be indifferent about the whole experience and not be tempted to try it again. Also, not feel indefinitely guilty for my actions.

[tscocksucker]

Being married for 6 years, I feel lucky for having such an open-mindes wife. I mean, she knows about me liking shemales and she even thinks it is normal. She also gave me a green light to be with one whenever I want to. She only gets jealous if I talk about being with another real, genetic girl. But about shemales she understands me. And I understand her desire to be with other women.
I think our marriage will never be a boring one.
Too bad she will never agree with a threesome (me, my wife and a t-girl). But nothing is perfect!

[Ladyboylover42]

Living this double-life, or a lie, is quite hard indeed. It breaks my heart to think what I may do if the opritunity arises. The last thing I'd want to do is hurt her, or our future. I really wish there was an easy awnser.

[tranny boy]

My last two (including current) girlfriends have known about my tranny fetish and they've both been ok with it (at least in fantasy). I'm not sure how they would react to it in real life, but my girlfriend (who has considered swinging one day) said she would be more comfortable and secure seeing me with a tranny than a real girl.

[tonywaits]

Married, hoping to find a shemale to have a threesome with me and wife.

[pipileptico]

1 - 1 works
1- 2 not...

[TSloverboid]

I'm married and have been cheating on my wife. I feel guilt. I am in a not too difficult position as we don;t have children together. I'm cheating because I have had feelings re: this for some time, I need a place to get away, I love sex and I'm being selfish. I am paying for the sex to help sooth my guilt. I fear getting caught as I have a comfortable life. I feel my wife and I are moving apart as all we seem to have in common lately is sex. I'm not sure where we're going or how we're getting there. She's made some large financial mistakes that will affect us for years. I am not very happy.

[nadyasaphira]

i dont mind finding a ladyboy as my wife..cos i really like them so much..areeya hope that you read this hehehe

[Steelmanxyz]

I suspect there are many here who share your sentiments.

[Liquidasset]

I know Bangcock, South Florida and the other hot spots but who has a chance to travel way the (F) out there to find out. I've looked at Craigslist and only found 2 in a 500 mile radius that would have been OK. 2 in 500 fricken miles. Believe it when they say not passable because the ones that say passable are clearly not. I look at it as if there not as hot as the pictures we post, it's not worth it. Want to bang a hot shemale/ladyboy with the lights on, not off. Its bad enough after we cum that the sex desire drops off to where we want a sandwich now, not sex. Imagine the drop off and lying next to some f-uped dude. Just my thoughts.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Liquidasset

I know Bangcock, South Florida and the other hot spots but who has a chance to travel way the (F) out there to find out. I've looked at Craigslist and only found 2 in a 500 mile radius that would have been OK. 2 in 500 fricken miles. Believe it when they say not passable because the ones that say passable are clearly not. I look at it as if there not as hot as the pictures we post, it's not worth it. Want to bang a hot shemale/ladyboy with the lights on, not off. Its bad enough after we cum that the sex desire drops off to where we want a sandwich now, not sex. Imagine the drop off and lying next to some f-uped dude. Just my thoughts.

The pictures that are posted here are women who are paid to look like they do. Do you have the same standards of beauty with non-trans women? You know, if they didn't walk off a porn set they aren't worth the time?

You can guarantee that every T-gal who sleeps with men has looked over at some point in her life and thought "Why the hell am I next to this f-ed up dude?"

You also need to understand that because of medical treatments, overt hostility, and simle access to resources transwomen don't generally live in assfuck rural USA. So if you aren't really close to a major metropolitan area, guess what you get?

[fatjeffrey]

without trying to rub it in anyones face...luckily im not married yet... so i can play the field so to speak....

[Pedro DB]

I was married and to a beautiful GG. I introduced her to a local Transgender Nightclub in East London. She loved it. I think she would've been up for a 3-some but we never managed to agree on who the 3rd person would be. There is no doubt in my mind now that she was threatened by how good looking the T-Girl was.

I've been divorced now for 3 years. I don't really know if it was my ongoing fantasy about T-Girls that caused the break-up but it certainly didn't help. IMO fantasy is very good as long as it doesn't become an obsession (Areeya...) and get in the way of 'real' life. My comment would be "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it all.. and then some you don't want".

I lost my home and my family but every cloud has it's silver lining and mine was leaving the UK and living in Thailand. Ladyboys are everywhere here. Some very beautiful. Some not. Some very good, kind natured souls. Some slightly drug crazed thieves. Fortunately, I haven't had any dealings with the latter - but I do know people who have..

So the fantasy and reality live alongside each other. Same as with everything. I'm happy to say that for me the fantasy has come true but at quite a cost. My current girlfriend, Anny, is both stunning looking and truly beautiful person too (see pic). It will be interesting to see how things what happens in the months to come

[DL_NL]

It all boils down to how much you want to give up your current life and hurt everyone concerned to hunt down your -possibly disappointing- ideal.

Just think of it this way: dreaming is not adultery.

When married life is good, I know what I'd do. Good luck with your decision.

[Pedro DB]

Just to be clear. I did not want to lose my family and would never have considered leaving my wife to live with a Ladyboy. There was a complex set of issues that caused the demise of our marriage.

My advice would be stick with reality and treasure what you have. However, having lost everything, there was nothing stopping me fulfilling my fantasy. The fantasy has now become reality and it is pretty much everything I hoped it would be. For you, it could be totally different. I guess it just depends on your expectations.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

[Be_my_nude]

I was very moved to read the very real pain that many male members subject themselves to in order to feed their longings and fantasies. Don't get me wrong - there's not many of us, male, female, Bi, or homosexual who do not have a fantasy or two tucked away. I bring mine out for special occasions !
So for me, these fantasies are not obsessive. ( Hmm - makes me wonder why I joined the Forum ! ) They are enhancements, if you like, to be used sparingly, otherwise they lose their piquancy and stimulating impact. As several of you have remarked, the reality rarely measures up to the obsession.
If I still had a husband, even though I was still in love with him, I think I would feel deeply hurt and betrayed to feel that I had lost out to a fantasy, even though nothing had happened physically, so to speak. I don't know whether I would ever feel the same again about the man who made me feel special and exclusive to him, but who had betrayed that feeling. I can't put my feelings into separate boxes, but that's the disadvantage of being born a woman, I guess. So, careful, fellers, there's more to a woman's love than you think.

[Mel Asher]

Bella

Seems like too much jealousy to me. Maybe you don't try to share fantasies, so never have the experience of someone close to you sharing theirs with you. Believe me it's quite a turn-on when they do. And what an absolute experience of utter mutual trust between to people.

Without trust all the rest is fear . . .

Mind you it's nice to keep one or two little secrets !

I am amarried man 25yrs. and shemale sex is the only thing that keeps me happy an whenever it has been some time since I had some I fuck my wife in the ass to tide me over at first she would not let me ass fuck her until I let her strap on fuck me. I really liked it you should try it. good luck make sure you lube.

[Vanillas]

Well, I would imagine that, by now, you know that your situation is not unique. There are many posters here that are married and into shemales. And, like you, most of them keep it as a guarded secret from their wives and families. Of course your situation IS unique in the sense that it is YOUR situation. There is a private and existential place in each of us. And among married men who crave shemales, we are unique only in our attitudes and choices. That said, let me share mine.

I am in what is often referred to as an "open marriage." By mutual agreement with my wife of 20 years each of us can have sex with anyone we want. But the ironic thing is that neither one of us does, including with each other. Thus what may sound like the best situation a man could hope for means very little. We also live in separate levels of the same house. I seldom even masturbate. Part of my dearth of sexual activity is due to age and medication. But I can't help feeling that the lion's share of the reason is that, in the absence of some form of prohibition (if only the risk of getting caught jacking off), sex simply isn't enticing. It reminds me of a Woody Allen joke. Question: Is sex dirty? Answer: It is if you do it right.

Yet, I am on this sight virtually every night, writing threads or posts and downloading pictures of sexy young T-Girls. And I believe the reason they attract me so is that they are clearly beyond my grasp. I mean, Who am I kidding, the chances of me having sex with such a person - outside of an internet pay site - are virtually nil. Thus, unlike masturbation and "normal" sex, they have that unapproachable, forbidden quality that ALL sex used to have. I guess its true what I've been told, I really AM still a Catholic.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by silverback

I'm very grateful to have found this forum, as it has helped me see that I'm not a total freak for loving shemales.

I'm straight, married with a son, but have been into shemales for the last 10 years or so, since long before I met my wife.

She doesn't know, and neither does anyone else....and they never will if I can avoid it.

I fantasize about meeting the TS of my dreams one day, but don't really want to cheat on my wife - in short I'm a bit conflicted. How many other guys are in my situation? Do you have any advice for me?

Fortunately I live in a place where the only shemales around are some not very attractive 'professional girls' so I haven't been tempted to stray and I'm still a virgin (so to speak).

I wish I had advice for you, but sadly I don't. I'm in the fortunate situation that I don't have to hide my translove and I honestly don't think I could or would anyway. As a matter of fact, my interest in cisgirls has more or less disappeared and that's only rather convenient as I'm normally only surrounded by trannies - I don't seek out the cisgender girls anymore.

When I say "surrounded by trannies" I don't mean as lovers and all is sex, but rather as my friends and companions as well.

I'm happy this way and I'm home.

I would really hate having to want a transgirl when being married to a cisgender woman. But I guess your future is very normal... go to Thailand once every two years and cheat on your wife.

And live your life ever wondering how it would be to have a transwoman as your lover and girlfriend. To have her in your life. Live your life in that doubt for ever and be content with going to a Thai prostitute once every two years.

Maybe that will be enough for you. I have no idea.

But I for one know that I cannot be dishonest to myself. Easy for me to say, I guess, but I could never again feel content with a cisgender woman. To me a real woman is transsexual, and I'm blessed in that regard.

She's right here.

I wish you all the best and I really hope I could have said something encouraging... but I cannot. For you your trans fascination will likely remain a hidden dream untill you in twenty years react on it seriously... or never...

Best wishes, brother!

Hank

[beckett20]

Silverback et al.,

Just joined this board today, saw your post and was blown over reading it. I've adored tg gurls and shemales since I was about 15, and have always identified myself as straight. I've never had any experiences, because when I was younger I was just too shy and had no idea where to go, and now, because I'm not sure that I would find the fulfillment I'm dreaming of with a 'professional' girl. It's the idea of meeting, flirting, dating, butterflies with a tg girl that really gets me going. At least with the internet, I can spend all the time I want basking in tg beauty.

So, hi to everyone that might read this! If anyone is interesting in having a chat some time, I'd love to, since I'm so sick of not having anyone to share this big part of who I am with.

I wish to be married too but nobody wants me at all, maybe because I am a perfectionist. I just dont like men who go and pay erotic pleasures with escorts, it's awful :-(

[Rambam]

so, you be a perfectionist?
and you think it's awful if men go and pay erotic pleasures with escorts... hmmm, then we cannot meet each other.

[racquel]

I think most people who like tgirls are conflicted by social pressure just like most gay people are conflicted. Since 10% of the population is gay, though, most gay guys get around to confronting it. Most tranny chasers don't really have to deal with it because much less than 1% of the population is trans.

But it's still upsetting to see how many people would never think seriously of a relationship with a TS and just want us to be their dirty little secret.

Originally Posted by eliogabalo

I don't like a double-life. I want to marry a shemale.

[slipper]

I'm happily married to a great lady for a looooong time, but she knows and accepts that I like to look at about anything, hehe. So, that's okay with the both of us.

Everyone has to work out their own way of living that works for them. Good luck to you on doing so.

My wife knows about my desire for a shemale. She asked me if that was my ideal threesoe, myself, my wife, and a ladyboy. I said yes. She knows everything and she told me about her desire to be with another woman. I encouraged her to look into it. She even surfed the web lastnight for shemale pics. She admitted to me lastnight she had registered at a swingers site. I did not know nor did i hint that i wanted to. I was shoocked to say the least. I think this may be the beginning of a spicy new chapter in our sex life. I won't try anything unless she does it with me. It all boils down to this, she saved my life three years ago and i married her. I love her and want to have a family someday. So if she wants the two of us to have a wild sexlife, i will journey with her, hand in hand.


Bottom line, be honest, don't hide things, because trust is key to a lasting, fullfilling relationship.

[Vanillas]

I've already posted on this thread but the following comes from a different angle.

As several others have posted, EVERYBODY has sexual fantasies. One of Rodney Dangerfield's jokes involved a married couple having sex. Suddenly they stop simultaneously. Then the husband asks his wife, "What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?".

I don't believe anything can be wrong with something so ubiquitous. I won't presume to tell you how you should view this but, for me, fantasizing about T-Girls (or sheep or circus midgets or whatever), while having sex with your wife, is NOT cheating on her. Also, not every fantasy has to be realized. It has been said that sex is more about what goes on between the ears than between the legs. It seems to me that this is one area where the fantasy may well be preferable to the probable guilt, the fear of your wife finding out, the possibility of contracting an STD, not to mention the disappointment of unmet expectations, inherent in the real thing.

[merelypink]

buy your wife a strap on!!!

[daywalker267]

i've been with my girlfriend for about two years now and she knows about my "fetish". i was just sick of hiding it, and i felt i had to tell someone - so i told her. she was surprisingly okay with it, as she normally seems kinda close minded about things.

however, we aven't talked about it since and she doesn't like it when i bring it up, so i feel i can't. i still jack off to lots of shemale porn, but she doesn't know. i've asked her to wear a strap on but she doesn't seem too up for the idea. it's hard to know how to apprach the subject because i do love her but somedays i worry that one day my lust and frustration will get the better of me - i've been into shemales since i was 16, infact the first time i ever jacked off was over a tranny.

but its good to know that i'm not the only one in this kind of situation.

[frenchie]

Am I glad I found this board...

It can be a tad lonessome out there...for a man with such delicate and peculiar tastes...

but one cannot escape or hide from what one is...or becomes...

and since there is no easy way out...

one might as well enjoy the ride, because a journey it is... with no certainties, no assurances, no results guaranteed, and in the end with no other purpose ou anything in particular to be achieved or conquered, just a journey, a ride of self awareness...

There is no beginning or ending point, each one to deal with the choices made, taylor made challenges, action, reaction...

like an 8, the journey is endless


thank you all for your insight, thank you beckett20, Vanillas, racquel...


as for me, I recently came out of a relationship, the leitmotif being me coming clear about my love and fascination with transsexualim, transgenderism, androgyny... but was it the main reason? doubtfull, although it certailnly did play a role... In my opinion, based on the outcome of this experience, secrets help killing a relation, particularly because they undermine the emotional strings, or strenghts that bond two people together...maybe after marriage bonds become somewhat different, sturdier, where a lie, even a white one cannot breach... we never got that far.


Can it be denied that desire, sex, even it's abstinence... are a structural driving force? I don't think it can... so for a heterossexual surely a fantasy with a transexual involves or represents to a greater or lesser degree a sexual experiment... could it be otherwise? doubtfull, can it go beyhond that, YES ... at least it does for me.



can we escape or hide from what we are...or became?

like an 8, the journey is endless...

[charlietwobeans]

It happened to me. I have been married for some time, but I could never shake my desires for shemales. I strayed (as my other posts will attest) and my wife found out. Betrayal is an ugly think - I hate myself for what I've done, and try every day to re-commit myself to her.

So, I am trying very hard not to stray anymore, and I am thankful for this forum to re-live my good times, recall my bad times, and try to strike an appropriate balance between my loves and my desires.

[tamar]

I have a married man for one of my lovers, he gets away when he can, i have to share him with his wife.

[SheMustBeDirty]

Well I do not know how open minded your wife is but if you love her and she loves you, maybe you two can indulge in it together.

Who says a nice shemale can't spice up your sex life with your wife. You can have the best of both worlds, your tgirl fantasy and the love of your wife and support of knowing you still have your fantasy.

My boyfriend likes tgirls and I think it's hot too. I think we're going to try a threesome soon.

You never know. Eventually though, she is going to find out. When she does it's going to hurt more than you may be able to imagine. If you love her, be honest.

That's just what I would do.

[tamar]

I would like to share my bf with his wife but she is such a bitch. One of my great thrills was meeting at party when I still had her husband's cum inside my puss, and she never knew. I wonder if she knows what he is thinking about when they have sex!

[boriquasoy]

Hi all. Just joined and am glad to hear I'm not the only married man who is turned on by this. Glad I found this site!

[charlietwobeans]

Originally Posted by tamar

I would like to share my bf with his wife but she is such a bitch. One of my great thrills was meeting at party when I still had her husband's cum inside my puss, and she never knew. I wonder if she knows what he is thinking about when they have sex!

Reminds me of the time I was speaking to my wife on the phone, lying to her and telling her I was at a "friendly meeting in town". She asked to speak to the person I was working with, so I rolled over in bed and handed the phone to my Tgirl lover who handled it like a pro.

Whew!