My first time here, and my confusion

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Phenom99

This is my first time posting here, and to be honest, i've been very confused for the past few days.

I have never had feelings for anyone else but a typical female. A few days ago i downloaded some porn with Bianca Freire, mistaking her for a typical girl in the screenshots (i mean, wow she is gorgeous), and it was the most aroused i've been in years. I think about her just during various times over the course of the day and can't help myself from feeling giddy.

Now I don't know what to think. I guess we live in a society that expects clean definitions. But these definitions are almost impossible to define for most things, and I'm just now learning that it is the same for my sexuality. Falling in love with someone with a dick is becoming all the more feasible to me now. I haven't had very good luck in relationships, and i'm beginning to wonder if being in one with a feminine male would be more beneficial for me?

Does anyone have any thoughts on their transitionary periods, if they've had them? I would appreciate any input, i've been looking around the site and you all seem very nice.

Thanks,
-Phenom

You are absolutely correct, we live in a society that loves two boxes (black/white, gay/straight, man/woman) with no movement and no deviations. The realization that one does not neatly fit one of those handy labels can be frightening and confusing.

I imagine that the discovery that one can find a woman with a penis attractive would be a shock and would come with a number of questions about identity and sexuality. In essence "what does this mean" and "what does this make me". A community like this can be very helpful as a place to ask questions and to have the freedom to self-identify.

[franalexes]

We are as female as any but don't try to out smart us. We have a secret advantage. We also can think like a guy.

I hope to catch you some day when we are both online.:D

[Phenom99]

Originally Posted by Bionca

You are absolutely correct, we live in a society that loves two boxes (black/white, gay/straight, man/woman) with no movement and no deviations. The realization that one does not neatly fit one of those handy labels can be frightening and confusing.

I imagine that the discovery that one can find a woman with a penis attractive would be a shock and would come with a number of questions about identity and sexuality. In essence "what does this mean" and "what does this make me". A community like this can be very helpful as a place to ask questions and to have the freedom to self-identify.

Yes, there are lots of things to sort out. Especially given that unless you have a label to ascribe to yourself, you can't do anything in America.

I was reading an article a few days ago for research, about an African tribe, in which gender is determined simply by the way in which you live, and not by physical markers. So people could go back and forth in the span of a day, depending on whether they fish or farm, walk with a blanket or not, who they love, etcetera. They are called the Vezo people, check them out, it's pretty cool haha if you like reading dry history (i'm a history major, lol)

[new believer]

Yes, there are lots of things to sort out. Especially given that unless you have a label to ascribe to yourself, you can't do anything in America.

I was reading an article a few days ago for research, about an African tribe, in which gender is determined simply by the way in which you live, and not by physical markers. So people could go back and forth in the span of a day, depending on whether they fish or farm, walk with a blanket or not, who they love, etcetera. They are called the Vezo people, check them out, it's pretty cool haha if you like reading dry history (i'm a history major, lol)

Feeling wonderful by now? As to history,that was/is one of my favorites also. Only more so to American History. I occasionally do American Revolutionary re-enactments. Now as to your statement that you can't do anything in America, careful, we can and have more opportunities to more here then anywhere else in the world. I know many people are still being beaten or worse,but not with goverment sanction. In most countries still,you cannot practice (even in shadows) what we get away with here. But let's not dwell. Enjoying your ride ?

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Phenom99

Yes, there are lots of things to sort out. Especially given that unless you have a label to ascribe to yourself, you can't do anything in America.

I was reading an article a few days ago for research, about an African tribe, in which gender is determined simply by the way in which you live, and not by physical markers. So people could go back and forth in the span of a day, depending on whether they fish or farm, walk with a blanket or not, who they love, etcetera. They are called the Vezo people, check them out, it's pretty cool haha if you like reading dry history (i'm a history major, lol)

Well, I was very nearly an Anthropologist until I got side-tracked into Social Work (silly me) so dry academic texts are no biggie here. The Vezo are an interesting study since their entire social identity is based on performance. You wanna be a fisher? understand what a fisher does and go fish... wanna be a Vezo? act like a Vezo and yer in (harder than it sounds). To them it is more important to understand what it means to be something than to actually do that thing. Like I said, interesting case study.

If you dig enough you can find examples all over the globe through history that maintain a more fluid understanding of identity wrt gender. Honestly, I blame Rome and their need for extreme hierarchies and it's influence on Western thought for many of the issues being discussed.

[Phenom99]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well, I was very nearly an Anthropologist until I got side-tracked into Social Work (silly me) so dry academic texts are no biggie here. The Vezo are an interesting study since their entire social identity is based on performance. You wanna be a fisher? understand what a fisher does and go fish... wanna be a Vezo? act like a Vezo and yer in (harder than it sounds). To them it is more important to understand what it means to be something than to actually do that thing. Like I said, interesting case study.

If you dig enough you can find examples all over the globe through history that maintain a more fluid understanding of identity wrt gender. Honestly, I blame Rome and their need for extreme hierarchies and it's influence on Western thought for many of the issues being discussed.

There's certainly nothing wrong with social work, what kind do you do?

[Bionca]

I was doing SW with GLBT runaways in Chicago. We were trying to get funding for a project that would have given job training and some basic life skills training to the kids. Part of our problem was that "reuniting families" was not our main focus, because the families of GLBT runaways rarely wake up and get it, fostercare and other youth groups send kids back into places where mummy and daddy smiled for the judge and then shipped little suzie off to church camp for some aversion therapy. Or they just continued to make the kids' lives hell.

We were trying to give kids the skills to step over the cracks in the system so that they could navigate being without a support system regardless of the presence of their parents. With funding evaporating, I was left with a job in children's services - and that my dear is a job that will rot your soul from the inside out.

So I'm not doing SW for a job, rather putting I skills to use for various organizations after work. Stay in Acadamae.. it's icky out here

[Phenom99]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I was doing SW with GLBT runaways in Chicago. We were trying to get funding for a project that would have given job training and some basic life skills training to the kids. Part of our problem was that "reuniting families" was not our main focus, because the families of GLBT runaways rarely wake up and get it, fostercare and other youth groups send kids back into places where mummy and daddy smiled for the judge and then shipped little suzie off to church camp for some aversion therapy. Or they just continued to make the kids' lives hell.

We were trying to give kids the skills to step over the cracks in the system so that they could navigate being without a support system regardless of the presence of their parents. With funding evaporating, I was left with a job in children's services - and that my dear is a job that will rot your soul from the inside out.

So I'm not doing SW for a job, rather putting I skills to use for various organizations after work. Stay in Acadamae.. it's icky out here

Still, it is good that you got involved with something that you cared about. even if it was soul-draining. My goal in life is to teach at a university level. so i've got about 8 more years before i'll be living my dream haha

[slipper]

As a mental health professional, I can assure you that if you have repeated relationship problems, the "answer" is not a t-girl or anyone else in particular.

One simply needs to explore what one gives and expects in relationships, and how, along with extreme honestly with oneself. Relationship quality can change for the better with any potential partner, straight, gay, bi, ts, or whatever.

All the best.