Would a TS escorting rule out romance?

Everything you say is true and goes into the "so what" category.

Because the essence of my quesition is, imagine your true love, the one you hold so much unconditional love for, admiration, attraction and devotion, imagine if that woman was spreading her legs three, four times a day for complete strangers. Imagine if she were driving to hotel rooms at three in the morning, leaving your bed for someone else's. Now imagine that. Don't speak in concepts, which is all I see so far, really imagine it happening. The woman you love, the woman you built a life with. She's sucking off strangers. She may even be liking it.

Now I would like a real reply.

[smolderingtemptress]

As a Tgirl who is actually trying to do something with her life, going to college and avoiding sex work, I'm appalled at the acceptance people have of this profession. Transsexual girls and women are EXTREMELY susceptible to the lure of escorting, hooking, whatever, even more so than genetic women, because other Tgirls who are supposed to be teaching them end up promoting this kind of job instead of pushing them toward a good work ethic.

You can be a tgirl and have a legal career (remember, prostitution is illegal in some areas) and earn your money legitimately. A few other tgirl friends of mine agree that when people begin to accept escorting, it does nothing to get girls out of it.

It's nice that we can look past what people do, but honestly, the chances for STDs are high, the chances of having a dangerous encounter with a client are high, and it's a risky business. It's better to encourage our fellow tgirls to try and make something of themselves instead of falling into the much stereotyped role of "tranny prostitute". It makes those of us who are trying to break through that caricature frustrated!

Originally Posted by smolderingtemptress

As a Tgirl who is actually trying to do something with her life, going to college and avoiding sex work, I'm appalled at the acceptance people have of this profession. Transsexual girls and women are EXTREMELY susceptible to the lure of escorting, hooking, whatever, even more so than genetic women, because other Tgirls who are supposed to be teaching them end up promoting this kind of job instead of pushing them toward a good work ethic.

You can be a tgirl and have a legal career (remember, prostitution is illegal in some areas) and earn your money legitimately. A few other tgirl friends of mine agree that when people begin to accept escorting, it does nothing to get girls out of it.

It's nice that we can look past what people do, but honestly, the chances for STDs are high, the chances of having a dangerous encounter with a client are high, and it's a risky business. It's better to encourage our fellow tgirls to try and make something of themselves instead of falling into the much stereotyped role of "tranny prostitute". It makes those of us who are trying to break through that caricature frustrated!

That's an easy story to tell, especially coming from a faceless nameless person who claims to be TS living the life. Maybe you should read my story, you will see I was in senior real estate management for over 10 years. I did what few TS can do and when I finally made the transition was booted out again and again. Fired five times in six years. It finally dawned on me that being an escort was easier and better. Yes, better. Being an escort is not a bad job. In fact, it's better than any other job I've had and I've had good jobs. My story is an excellent benchmark for measurinhg the level of tolerance society has for TS.

STD's, drugs, those are easy ways to dismiss the industry. Fact is we provide a service. There are frustrated married guys all over the world dying for a half hour with a TS alone on a couch. So an attractive TS sees that opportunity and then sees the other side of the fence- a world where virtually no TS has ever held a high level position of authority. We dont get those jobs. That's why it is an easy lure if you're TS to becoming an escort. That's the only thing you've said I agree with.

[smolderingtemptress]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

That's an easy story to tell, especially coming from a faceless nameless person who claims to be TS living the life. Maybe you should read my story, you will see I was in senior real estate management for over 10 years. I did what few TS can do and when I finally made the transition was booted out again and again. Fired five times in six years. It finally dawned on me that being an escort was easier and better. Yes, better. Being an escort is not a bad job. In fact, it's better than any other job I've had and I've had good jobs. My story is an excellent benchmark for measurinhg the level of tolerance society has for TS.

STD's, drugs, those are easy ways to dismiss the industry. Fact is we provide a service. There are frustrated married guys all over the world dying for a half hour with a TS alone on a couch. So an attractive TS sees that opportunity and then sees the other side of the fence- a world where virtually no TS has ever held a high level position of authority. We dont get those jobs. That's why it is an easy lure if you're TS to becoming an escort. That's the only thing you've said I agree with.

Umm. You don't have to believe that I'm actually a TS who isn't a prostitute, but I am, and it saddens me that you are so blinded by your own delusions that you cannot see that there are actually quite a few successful Transsexual women working as doctors, lawyers, even my friend works for PR and has had plenty of success.

You're not measuring the tolerance for TS, you're measuring the acceptance of prostitution. You're doing our community a disservice by promoting escorting, because as you said before, men want to be alone with us for a half hour or so, but where is our actual worth in society? In a bed with dollar bills being flung at is? Do you measure yours in clientele? I measure mine in knowing I'm getting an education and maintaining some dignity, as well as breaking the barriers society as created for us.

PS: The old "Pretty Woman Prostitute with a Heart of Gold" fairy tale is nice in theory, but doesn't work out in reality.

Originally Posted by smolderingtemptress

Umm. You don't have to believe that I'm actually a TS who isn't a prostitute, but I am, and it saddens me that you are so blinded by your own delusions that you cannot see that there are actually quite a few successful Transsexual women working as doctors, lawyers, even my friend works for PR and has had plenty of success.

You're not measuring the tolerance for TS, you're measuring the acceptance of prostitution. You're doing our community a disservice by promoting escorting, because as you said before, men want to be alone with us for a half hour or so, but where is our actual worth in society? In a bed with dollar bills being flung at is? Do you measure yours in clientele? I measure mine in knowing I'm getting an education and maintaining some dignity, as well as breaking the barriers society as created for us.

Don't trip on the soapbox.

Your so high and mighty ideals aren't quite so high and your lowly view of prostitution isn't as low as you say. You are making the most obvious, most easy to refute argument one can make regarding prostitution. Find some depth to your thought process and then I can engage you seriously.

Good luck with your high ideals, they don't go along very well with your nameless faceless profile. Easy to shout it out from behind your computer.

[bigforarse]

Ok you asked for a real reply and here is my attempt at a real reply because I still think you are missing my point. Is this a crusade as to the hard life a lot of tgirls have or is this a general debate on lovers when one works in the sex industry. Because thats all it is ie an industry, a job, and so what if she likes it, wouldnt any loved one wish for their other half to enjoy their job! Obviously getting up at 3 am is hard work etc, but who hasnt worked a few night shifts or awkward hours.
I really have to say the bottom line yet again, if true love exists between 2 people then no matter what they do or happens doesnt matter because at the end of the day the partners in whatever combination are together as one.
I truly am sorry if the people arguing against me have not experienced this feeling of total and utter trust and love, but it really is there for anyone honest, and the best time to find it is when you are not looking for it.
Sorry to anyone I may offend.

Originally Posted by bigforarse

Ok you asked for a real reply and here is my attempt at a real reply because I still think you are missing my point. Is this a crusade as to the hard life a lot of tgirls have or is this a general debate on lovers when one works in the sex industry. Because thats all it is ie an industry, a job, and so what if she likes it, wouldnt any loved one wish for their other half to enjoy their job! Obviously getting up at 3 am is hard work etc, but who hasnt worked a few night shifts or awkward hours.
I really have to say the bottom line yet again, if true love exists between 2 people then no matter what they do or happens doesnt matter because at the end of the day the partners in whatever combination are together as one.
I truly am sorry if the people arguing against me have not experienced this feeling of total and utter trust and love, but it really is there for anyone honest, and the best time to find it is when you are not looking for it.
Sorry to anyone I may offend.

I think that was a more honest answer and thank you. My point was, because it sounds like you're not sure what I objected to, it's easy to say in idealistic terms "love conquers all". But in realisitic terms a man may not be so open-minded if he lives with and loves an escort. In theory, though I agree with you that love, respect, honesty and trust is the foiundation for any relationship.

[CreativeMind]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

I think that was a more honest answer and thank you. My point was, because it sounds like you're not sure what I objected to, it's easy to say in idealistic terms "love conquers all". But in realisitic terms a man may not be so open-minded if he lives with and loves an escort. In theory, though I agree with you that love, respect, honesty and trust is the foiundation for any relationship.

Well, I think this is the heart of the whole debate. Right here, in this one reply from you, Melissa. There's obviously a very definite line separating something as being "idealistic" and it being "realistic" -- simply because it draws a line in the sand on where each of us stands personally with regards to a matter of the heart.

I believe love can conquer all. That's not necessarily a catch phrase, at least not to me. I've seen it in action, and I've seen many a couple beat the odds against them. But we also have to stop and think about something here. The whole POINT of the saying "Love conquers all" is that implies that two people will love each other SO much that they will overcome all obstacles for the betterment of BOTH. So that BOTH will now have better lives. In short, at its core, the saying implies that there is also an end result that is to be attained. And that's where your original question doesn't have a right or wrong answer -- all anyone can really toss back is an answer that works for them personally.

Look, I dated an escort once. Met her in a funny way (non-sexual and in public)...we hit it off...exchanged phone numbers...started calling and talking for hours, became instant friends and even closer....dated...and then she dropped the bomb about "what" she really did for a living on the side. I thought she had a normal day job (which she did), but she then supplemented her income with some high paying escort work.

And I really cared about her and she really seemed to care about me. It wasn't a question of did we like each other -- we did. But I think the most common thinking on this matter is that IF you fall for someone who works such a job..that is, works in the sex industry (be it an escort, porn star, cam girl, etc)...it's just inevitable that the couple is going to reach a point where you just HAVE to look each other in the eye and ask what ultimately becomes the MOST honest and soul-baring questions of all...

WHAT is most important: the money or the relationship?
WHO is more important in your life: your lover or your clients?
WHICH means more to you: spending time with your lover (where you are building a true partnership of being equals) or being with your clients (where things could now be tilted and imbalanced, and you might feel a certain level of power and control over them?)

This started with you asking a basic question: Could you date someone (in this case a TS)
who turned out to be an escort? Who engaged in that line of work to get by?

Well, in my opinion, I think the answer that most guys will give is what I call the PRETTY WOMAN response (based on the hit Richard Gere/Julia Roberts movie). Sure, most guys would love to meet a sexy woman/TS...most guys would love the thrill of an instant attraction...to fall in love and find a soul mate who is both fun, lively, and has a distinct sexual energy. We all dream about finding someone like that.

The only problem is THEN they pretty much want the same ending as in the movie. In other words, you want the compromise ending where Richard Gere accepts her for who she is...he's willing to look beyond her line of work...but at the same time, Julia Roberts realizes that to have a true, loving, one-on-one relationship she has to give up her life as a street walker. That THAT lifestyle is just not going to work if she's going to win Richard Gere's heart and BE the kind of lover that he needs. To fulfill his views on love and a committed elationship.

So, it's like I said -- the question is fair, but it just comes down to what the two people can live with as a couple. "Love conquers all" is a valid statement, but as I said before the whole POINT of the statement is that you BOTH get to a place that you BOTH want to be. And if you BOTH aren't there, then it's a crippled relationship. It's always going to be lopsided and tilted and off kilter because one partner is always going to feel that they had to give in on something very important to them.

In fact, here's something else to consider: you changed the question mid-stream. Your original question was "Could you date an escort", but like I said many people might give the PRETTY WOMAN answer and say "Sure, so long as in the end she leaves that life behind once I agree to love her and take care of her. That we'll work towards a better life TOGETHER...even if we have to struggle a bit...but the important thing is that we ARE together."

But then you changed the question and the internal dynamics. Suddenly you said: "Don't speak in concepts, which is all I see so far, really imagine it happening. The woman you love, the woman you built a life with. She's sucking off strangers. She may even be liking it."

Well, THAT'S a whole other story now, isn't it? Suddenly it's gone from two people being in love...trying to build something together...but you've just changed the ground rules. Suddenly NOW it's about one partner wanting SUCH an active sex life that she wants ADDITIONAL partners -- she wants to suck off complete strangers (as you put it) and even gets off on it. THAT certainly alters things, don't you think? After all, how am I supposed to believe that someone really loves me...wants to build a life with me...when in truth they want to turn around and say "Oh, and by the way, I want to be with these other guys TOO."

And going back to myself, that was what broke up me and my ex. In the end, she couldn't walk away from the life because she liked the feeling of power it gave her...she was intoxicated by the money she could make...she wanted the sexual liberty to sleep with other guys. And at that point, as I said, it's no longer a question of "Would you date an escort?" versus "Why should I be dating someone who isn't giving me what I really need to have a fulfilling relationship?" At that point it just comes down to each person and what they personally need to find a good fit...to feel that the relationship they're in is actually strong or that it's going somewhere.

So, I'll say it again: I think the general answer you'll get from most guys is the PRETTY WOMAN response. Sure, it's an enticing and sexually exciting and blood rushing way to perhaps START a relationship, but I think most people would want it to transition into something more stable and traditional -- that is IF you're trying to become an actual couple with long term plans to be together AS a couple.

[ila]

Originally Posted by CreativeMind

This started with you asking a basic question: Could you date someone (in this case a TS)
who turned out to be an escort?


In fact, here's something else to consider: you changed the question mid-stream. Your original question was "Could you date an escort",

Maybe you should look at the question again. This is what it very clearly states

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

If you met a TS, fell head over heels for her, but then found out she is an escort/adult entertainer does it rule out the chances for a relationship?

A relationship means more than just dating. A relationship is a commitment of at least two people to one another.

Originally Posted by CreativeMind

But then you changed the question and the internal dynamics. Suddenly you said: "Don't speak in concepts, which is all I see so far, really imagine it happening. The woman you love, the woman you built a life with. She's sucking off strangers. She may even be liking it."

The question wasn't changed. Melissa just explained further what an escort does.

[Bionca]

Man I hate when T-gals snipe other gals for being escorts. I attribute my own mainstream employment as much to luck as some pretty messed up body-image issues.

Yes, there are t-gals who are business owners, professors, doctors, lawyers, models, singers, actresses, writers, truck drivers, construction workers, any profession you can name. But.. lets be clear about some reality.

Many "succesful" Trans* were successful BEFORE their transition and were lucky enough to remail within their company. Many successful Trans* are deeply in denial about being trans* to keep their employment. Merely gaining employment is an ordeal for lots and lots of us.

That said, I HATE painting sex work as a last resort - like sex workers need pity and sympathy for the cruel world. I OWN my body, the fact I have tits and and took the risk to surgically alter my face attests to that. If I CHOOSE to pay my rent by having sex with someone it's my body and I have full agency as an adult.

Tranny sex-workers don't do shit for or against social acceptance. It's the same tires arguement used by the gays "why are the leather guys and drag queen shown on TV when there are so many normal homos". Rest the blame where it belongs - society, particularly men, who can only relate to trans*women as objects and not as people.

As far as being in a relationship with an escort, as long as she is OK with you having to go on business trips, stay late at the office, have a long commute, or what ever could be related to the arguement that she isn't spending time with her fella. Being a professional escort does not preclude one for looking for a relationship built on something other than hourly rates.

[smolderingtemptress]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Man I hate when T-gals snipe other gals for being escorts. I attribute my own mainstream employment as much to luck as some pretty messed up body-image issues.

Yes, there are t-gals who are business owners, professors, doctors, lawyers, models, singers, actresses, writers, truck drivers, construction workers, any profession you can name. But.. lets be clear about some reality.

Many "succesful" Trans* were successful BEFORE their transition and were lucky enough to remail within their company. Many successful Trans* are deeply in denial about being trans* to keep their employment. Merely gaining employment is an ordeal for lots and lots of us.

That said, I HATE painting sex work as a last resort - like sex workers need pity and sympathy for the cruel world. I OWN my body, the fact I have tits and and took the risk to surgically alter my face attests to that. If I CHOOSE to pay my rent by having sex with someone it's my body and I have full agency as an adult.

Tranny sex-workers don't do shit for or against social acceptance. It's the same tires arguement used by the gays "why are the leather guys and drag queen shown on TV when there are so many normal homos". Rest the blame where it belongs - society, particularly men, who can only relate to trans*women as objects and not as people.

As far as being in a relationship with an escort, as long as she is OK with you having to go on business trips, stay late at the office, have a long commute, or what ever could be related to the arguement that she isn't spending time with her fella. Being a professional escort does not preclude one for looking for a relationship built on something other than hourly rates.

Why do you think we're looked at as sex objects? The blame goes both ways, both for men and the escorting tgirls, so don't try to pass it off when you're the one selling yourself in the first place. How can you possibly think men could consider you as a person when you're giving them a price for sex? Come on. You want your cake and eat it, too, so if you're genuinely confused as to why men aren't really interested in getting serious with you when they find out you lie on your back grabbing cash from a nightstand for a living, you have a lot more issues to go along with your body-image ones.

Having sex with other men while in a supposed "loving" relationship isn't really giving the relationship all you could give it. To think that escorting should be looked upon with less consideration as a freckle is preposterous, and any decent man worth a damn wants a woman who not only loves him but herself as well, and she can't provide either to the full extent if she's hooking.

Just because we're all part of the transsexual community does not mean we have to embrace each other for going down paths that are self-destructive. If you're not wanting pity, why have you posted about the woes of finding a real relationship? ...It's not just coincidence.

Originally Posted by Bionca

Man I hate when T-gals snipe other gals for being escorts. I attribute my own mainstream employment as much to luck as some pretty messed up body-image issues.

Yes, there are t-gals who are business owners, professors, doctors, lawyers, models, singers, actresses, writers, truck drivers, construction workers, any profession you can name. But.. lets be clear about some reality.

Many "succesful" Trans* were successful BEFORE their transition and were lucky enough to remail within their company. Many successful Trans* are deeply in denial about being trans* to keep their employment. Merely gaining employment is an ordeal for lots and lots of us.

That said, I HATE painting sex work as a last resort - like sex workers need pity and sympathy for the cruel world. I OWN my body, the fact I have tits and and took the risk to surgically alter my face attests to that. If I CHOOSE to pay my rent by having sex with someone it's my body and I have full agency as an adult.

Tranny sex-workers don't do shit for or against social acceptance. It's the same tires arguement used by the gays "why are the leather guys and drag queen shown on TV when there are so many normal homos". Rest the blame where it belongs - society, particularly men, who can only relate to trans*women as objects and not as people.

As far as being in a relationship with an escort, as long as she is OK with you having to go on business trips, stay late at the office, have a long commute, or what ever could be related to the arguement that she isn't spending time with her fella. Being a professional escort does not preclude one for looking for a relationship built on something other than hourly rates.

Bravo Bionca you hit the nail on the head. Its presumptuous and insulting to hear this tired rhetoric and don't forget its coming from a nameless faceless person. For all we know its just another guy with too much free time.
Thanks bionca