Waiting for my dream girl

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Glad to see someone liked the post about my bondage loving “future wife.”

We would make a great couple. From the looks of it I’m pretty sure if we didn’t have anything else in common we could base our relationship just on that.

Here’s today’s “fake ad.” I’ve posted this one before. But I don’t think I ran the “age test” on her picture. “Old”? WTF? But then I don’t know what the people who create these ads are really thinking.

Anyway, maybe she should be my “future wife” as you can see from my picture on the right. We’re obviously close in age…

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Today's "fake ad" suggests hiring a "professional organizer"? Shit. I knew there was something I could do. I'm sure there are many busy people who would pay well for such a service...

But the best part would be the fringe benefits.

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Many schools and universities in the United States are still tying to decide whether or not to offer sports this fall because of coronavirus. Despite the risk, I think it can be managed and it would be a mistake not to offer student-athletes the opportunities afforded by athletic programs.

As you know I played football a long time ago at a “Division I” university (mid 2000’s). While I didn’t have a spectacular career, the life’s lessons gained from competing as part of a team, developing effective work habits, achieving goals, performing in front of thousands of people, dealing with the media, the lifelong friendships made, and the opportunities in business presented have proved vital to my success in life.

But It would be a shame if all sports were to be cancelled for the 20-21 school year. I would volunteer to be a coach if it would help...

(The situation is very serious. In the United States, even professional sports are having a hard time deciding what to do. Many NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL players have tested positive for COVID-19. To say nothing of the crowds that could be expected. I have been following the matter closely all summer and still couldn’t tell you what will eventually happen. The only positive news to emerge from the sporting world recently is that it is good to be Patrick Mahomes. )

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Fake flight? Sounds like fun… Not!

Sixty eager "travelers" showed up to Taipei Songshan Airport on Thursday, boarding passes in hand, to take a rather unusual trip. Their destination? Nowhere.

While most flights in Taiwan are still grounded because of the Covid-19 outbreak, Taipei Songshan Airport (also called Taipei International Airport) is offering locals a tiny taste of travel, dubbed "pretend to go abroad" airport tours.

"In addition to letting the participants go through security screening, identification inspection and other immigration clearance procedures, they actually boarded the plane to experience the fun of boarding," Ting Hsu, who works in Songshan Airport's planning department, told CNN Travel.

But it did give me an idea. Maybe I could have a “fake date” with Dove Cameron.

(Moderators: These are from Dove’s 18th birthday party several years ago. So it’s OK. The only part that sucked was that Dove couldn’t have a drink… That and my wife showed up and dumped that dessert on my head. )

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In my "junk" folder this morning. Is someone trying to tell me something? Knew I never should have clicked on that "Born Before 1985" ad.

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Not much to post today. Getting desperate. So I will apologize in advance for this one...

This was today's "fake ad."

The idea seems like a bad one from the start. Someone decided to present all NFL starting Quarterbacks as women.

The clickbait ad featured Tom Brady. If you follow the NFL, he's not even with the Patriots anymore, having signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Not sure he qualifies as a "dream girl' in my book. His wife (Gisele Bündchen) does however.

He played college football at Michigan. Saw him play when I was in high school. I have never been one of his detractors although I currently live in Indianapolis and am a Colts fan.

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Not having much luck with women. Figured I better “get with the program” if I didn’t want to die a virgin.

So a total image makeover was called for. This guy looks like he is incorporating all of the latest trends. I’m sure he has them lining up for dates…

Maybe I could “steal his style”?

(Shit. Looks like it’s “U + Ur Hand” dude. The only way he’s gonna get laid is if he sells his startup for $3 billion and buys a Koenigsegg. )