Waiting for my dream girl

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Well, and where exactly did you think I played?



Best YouTube Comments:

“When this one was popped, one of my fraternity brothers was able to snatch it. It's still hanging in our house.” (Me: They are considered a collectible. I’d much rather have my old helmet that sits on my desk at home.)

“We started this back in the early 90s when the Fantasy Gift Shop used to be located on the Levee (where we would buy). The John Purdue Club (Me: Many older alumni. Most very wealthy.) sitting below the student section used to get extremely upset. The best part was watching the ushers trying to corral it.” (Me: Never paid any attention to this silliness. I was always focused on the cheerleaders, er...I mean the game...)

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From "vice.com" maybe around 2005. Had forgotten about this one... What does he mean "beating off?"

(It's the bathing suit and her legs. )

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Summer 1999. Hated by many, loved by others, Limp Bizkit had a huge hit with “Nookie.” Released in June 1999, to me, this song sums up popular culture at the “end of the millennium” better than anything except maybe “The Matrix.”

I was 16 when this was filmed. Of course I used to check out all the girls in the video as they join up to follow Fred Durst. (Note to younger members: We did in fact have cell phones then. Everyone I know had one. No need to use “pay phones” in the video except maybe for dramatic effect.)

But one of the dancers stood out to me above all the others. Twenty years later, I still don’t know her name. I think she’s totally hot. Especially with her “mom” jeans and cropped top.

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Jesse. Nice to wake up to this morning. This reminds me, I’ve got to “clean up my act.”

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Wanted to share the latest pic of me with my new girlfriend this morning at the park in Zionsville.

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Another “clickbait” article. This time about words and phrases from the 1980’s you should stop using. Except that most of them I don’t remember and others are from the 90’s and 2000’s. At least they could fucking get it right. You think?

My personal favorite, “Gag Me With A Spoon!” was singled out for especially harsh criticism. I use it all the time as a joke and sadly it is still appropriate for many things today. I’m surprised “Awesome” didn’t make their list. Maybe because everybody, even Grandma and Grandpa, still uses it.

But I was puzzled by their example of an “80’s geek.” She looks like she was born in the mid-nineties. Not the 80’s. Anyway, as far as I’m concerned my “future wife” can say whatever she wants. “Like, totally…”

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From the Daily Mail (so you know it must be true).

'He is the love of my life': Woman, 20, reveals she has 'married' a ZOMBIE DOLL that she got when she was 13 - as she details how she and the figurine even 'consummated' the union.

Felicity married her zombie doll, on September 15, 2018.

The ceremony, which took place in Tiverton, Rhode Island, cost her $500.

Her father bought the doll for her when she was 13 years old.

Felicity's doll was purchased online on a 'creepy' doll collection website. (Me: Never would have guessed. ).

The Massachusetts-native claims that the zombie doll is now 37 years old (Me: Shhh… Don’t tell everyone. I still list my age as "29." Thanks a lot. ).

The pair share intimate moments, according to Felicity, who says the doll is the ‘love of her life’. (Me: Well I guess if I can’t meet Dove Cameron… ).

(Thought that was a pretty good pic of me. I don't wear a suit that often. Photographer got my "good side." Probably get lots of dates now... But I don't think I look 6'4" in these pictures. Must be the camera. ).