Tgirl Etiquette

[sesame]

Originally Posted by eliogabalo

The most of shemales are very satisfied when you treat them exactly like girls. They are very happy receiving flowers, scents and others typical presents for women. This is a nice way of underlining their femininity and generally they are very grateful. I've known many ladyboys who have their bedroom full of flowers, doll and peluches.
You can talk about their transexuality only if are they to begin. Some shemales are very auto-ironical and talk about this subject in a witty way; others t-girls don't like this. So, in the uncertainity, is better to avoid allusions and remarks.
The language is important !! Say always "she" and not "he"; "her" and not "his" etc. An oversight can be unpleasant. And use often the feminine name that the ladyboy had chosen for herself. Ladyboys love the sound of their feminine name. The name they've chosen is the symbol of their personality.

Very beautifully stated, especially the point that clearly advises on underlining their femininity.

I also agree with tlover in mentioning my fondness for the term shemale. The word Transsexual is like a medical hodgepodge for me. Shemale sounds sweeter.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by sesame

Very beautifully stated, especially the point that clearly advises on [COLOR="Blue"][B]underlining their femininity

Yes, Sesame, but isn't that sort of the obvious? I mean, who'd in their right mind would date a cute trans girl and then burst out: MARH GOD... YOU EVEN LOOK LIKE A GIRL...

My humble experience is that you compliment a transsexual woman as you compliment a cisgendered woman. No difference. AND you stay alert to deal with the "trans" object. Some (a few I admit) may feel antagonized a little bit if you overdo the woman-thing. It's a delicate balance - and isn't that what makes this so beautiful?

An x of mine said it this way: "I'm a woman - I'm a transsexual woman, not a genetic one. And I don't WANT to be a genetic woman."

That to me is a strong statement - a very beautiful statement that catches the entire point. Ofcourse, for some transsexual women that is just not enough. If they could change their cromosones they would.

Or as Fey, my first gorgeous gorgeous trans gf (I love her and luckily we're best friends here) put it: "To be a successful trans you must be at ease with your masculinity".

Well, there are as many approaches to being a transgendered woman as there are trans women, I'm convinced, but my point is that one's "respect" for her womanhood should not get exaggerated to the degree that it becomes ridiculous. Then we may land in the other ditch and oversee the fact that many (probably most) trans women like to be accepted as just that!

Am I rambling?

H

[GRH]

Hank, you clearly have a lot of insight from your multitude of interactions. If only the rest of the world could be so well informed!

As to the word "she-male," I would avoid it if you are looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship. If you are going to an escort service or picking up a hooker off the street, that might be different. However, many transgendered individuals take offense to that word, as it has generally been promoted by the pornography industry. Ditto to the word "tranny." I don't know how terminology is viewed in non-American culture, as that is my only context to speak from.

And yes, emphasizing (without overdoing) the feminine side of one's partner is greatly appreciated. Most tgirls like many of the same luxuries and delights as GG's.

[hankhavelock]

GRH, absolutely - the terms "ladyboy" and "shemale" should be used with caution. I rarely use them - instead I prefer transsexual or transgendered or ts or tg. However, in Asia, where I live, the terms are not considered quite as antagonizing as in the West. Here trans woman will happily refer to themselves as ladyboys or shemales.

So again it's a matter of feeling you way in and use the right lingo for the occasion :-)

[Bionca]

Yeah use "Shemale" at your own risk... I know I'd probably think twice about going out with a guy who used that word too much.

It's from porn, and porn is all good, but would you honestly walk up to an attractive woman in her 40's and call her a MILF? Or drop that in casual conversation around her? "Hey guys this is my MILF date." "I'd like to introduce you to Mary, she's a MILF".

Probably the universal faux pas in dating a TG is to use the wrong pronouns. Even escorts who advertise as "shemales" will show you the door if you call her "he". I've heard stories of guys in Thailand who wouldn't stop calling their LBs by male pronouns. Not only were they treated very coldly by every LB they met for the rest of their vacation, they had a couple of LBs who were so offended that they harassed the guy every time they saw him on the street.

[vibesfan]

I think that the best thing to do in all cases is to treat shemales as women and refer to them as women. This is a very important part of their transformation process and I think you'll find that you have a much happier lady as a result.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by vibesfan

I think that the best thing to do in all cases is to treat shemales as women and refer to them as women. This is a very important part of their transformation process and I think you'll find that you have a much happier lady as a result.

They ARE women... how could I treat them any differently???