Tgirl Etiquette

[eliogabalo]

Originally Posted by tlover

Hope I've spelt that right. You will have to forgive my ignorance on this subject, it's all new to me.
I was thinking if i ever met a tgirl how would thay like to be referred to treated etc.
We all have to be politically correct now i know.
Maybe gizmo, elio, or hank can help me here.
For instance when talking about them i know thay don't like to be called shemales (I love this term think it implies a whole new sex) i think they prefer the word tgirl or transgender? i don't know.
When you introduce them to someone do you say this is my girlfriend/partner/tgirl?
Do you treat then as a girl or something completely different, separate, special?
Do you openly discuss her differance or keep stum?
Also i need to know more aobut tgirls in general.
Do thay like to be thought of as girls, or perhaps some think of themselves as that special 3rd sex?
Do thay all want to become total girls eventually, or are some happy to keep their cock and tits etc?.
I sound really thick now, mabey this was a wrong idea, but i could do with some more knowledge some Tgirl Etiquette, i wouldn't want to appear totally ignorant if i met one.
Apologies to guy's with tgirlfriends hope i haven't been offensive in my language and ignorance.

The most of shemales are very satisfied when you treat them exactly like girls. They are very happy receiving flowers, scents and others typical presents for women. This is a nice way of underlining their femininity and generally they are very grateful. I've known many ladyboys who have their bedroom full of flowers, doll and peluches.
You can talk about their transexuality only if are they to begin. Some shemales are very auto-ironical and talk about this subject in a witty way; others t-girls don't like this. So, in the uncertainity, is better to avoid allusions and remarks.
The language is important !! Say always "she" and not "he"; "her" and not "his" etc. An oversight can be unpleasant. And use often the feminine name that the ladyboy had chosen for herself. Ladyboys love the sound of their feminine name. The name they've chosen is the symbol of their personality.

[tlover]

Thanks for the enlightenment elio. Simple when you know how, i just wasn't sure.
So what's the politically correct term for tgirls do we refer to them as tgirls or transgender?

[hankhavelock]

Political correct terms are defined by the environment... words like "ladyboy" and "shemale" may in the West be considered "pornographic". Here in Asia they are used much more loosely.

But the truly correct terms are: TRANSGENDER in a broader sense (covering both transvestites and transsexuals), TRANSVESTITE/CROSSDRESSER for a guy who occasionally dresses up like a woman (this includes DRAG), and TRANSSEXUAL for people who live full-time and identify as the opposite sex of their genetic sex.

It's a bit simplified but pretty much to the point.

There are probably as many definitions of transgenderism as there are transgender people and there really are no strict namings. So it's complicated.

In general it's important to understand that there is difference between SEXUAL ORIENTATION and GENDER IDENTIFICATION. But that's a whole other matter that I better not get into now :-)

Peace!

Hank

[tlover]

No wonder i'm confused

[gizmo]

The girl I see when I go to LOS, like's
to be reffered to as she, her name is Jennifer
or rather, the name she give's herself!


But as hank will probably know, these girl's change
their name's like we change sock's!:D
And as hank say's, the term LB is
commonly used in Thailand.

When I met her first time, I told her she was a pretty girl
she replied" I not girl, I ladyboy! So just go with the flow!

[tlover]

Originally Posted by gizmo

The girl I see when I go to LOS, like's
to be reffered to as she, her name is Jennifer
or rather, the name she give's herself!


But as hank will probably know, these girl's change
their name's like we change sock's!:D
And as hank say's, the term LB is
commonly used in Thailand.

When I met her first time, I told her she was a pretty girl
she replied" I not girl, I ladyboy! So just go with the flow!

Blimey these tgirls don't sound too easy going mate.

[Mirabeau915]

I have met only one bonefide transexual* during a conference and I referred to her with proper pronouns (such as "her") and used "dear" when I felt it was appropriate (as in "let me get that door for you dear") just as I would a "genetic woman" who was younger than myself.

It takes a lot of work and a lot of confidence to make that transformation, far be it from me to ignore that effort. I have always felt that a pronoun and some curtesy is a small thing compared to the troubles that a transgendered individual might have.

And I ignored the whole transexual issue altogether. She did not say anything about it, and I did nothing to indicate I knew any better. In fact, I acted no differently around her, I flirted with her just as much as the other gals.

*I'm not counting the genetic man who was in the middle of the process and wearing and living as a female with no alterations yet. The same as the rest of this post went for her.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by eliogabalo

The most of shemales are very satisfied when you treat them exactly like girls. They are very happy receiving flowers, scents and others typical presents for women. This is a nice way of underlining their femininity and generally they are very grateful. I've known many ladyboys who have their bedroom full of flowers, doll and peluches.
You can talk about their transexuality only if are they to begin. Some shemales are very auto-ironical and talk about this subject in a witty way; others t-girls don't like this. So, in the uncertainity, is better to avoid allusions and remarks.
The language is important !! Say always "she" and not "he"; "her" and not "his" etc. An oversight can be unpleasant. And use often the feminine name that the ladyboy had chosen for herself. Ladyboys love the sound of their feminine name. The name they've chosen is the symbol of their personality.

Very beautifully stated, especially the point that clearly advises on underlining their femininity.

I also agree with tlover in mentioning my fondness for the term shemale. The word Transsexual is like a medical hodgepodge for me. Shemale sounds sweeter.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by sesame

Very beautifully stated, especially the point that clearly advises on [COLOR="Blue"][B]underlining their femininity

Yes, Sesame, but isn't that sort of the obvious? I mean, who'd in their right mind would date a cute trans girl and then burst out: MARH GOD... YOU EVEN LOOK LIKE A GIRL...

My humble experience is that you compliment a transsexual woman as you compliment a cisgendered woman. No difference. AND you stay alert to deal with the "trans" object. Some (a few I admit) may feel antagonized a little bit if you overdo the woman-thing. It's a delicate balance - and isn't that what makes this so beautiful?

An x of mine said it this way: "I'm a woman - I'm a transsexual woman, not a genetic one. And I don't WANT to be a genetic woman."

That to me is a strong statement - a very beautiful statement that catches the entire point. Ofcourse, for some transsexual women that is just not enough. If they could change their cromosones they would.

Or as Fey, my first gorgeous gorgeous trans gf (I love her and luckily we're best friends here) put it: "To be a successful trans you must be at ease with your masculinity".

Well, there are as many approaches to being a transgendered woman as there are trans women, I'm convinced, but my point is that one's "respect" for her womanhood should not get exaggerated to the degree that it becomes ridiculous. Then we may land in the other ditch and oversee the fact that many (probably most) trans women like to be accepted as just that!

Am I rambling?

H

[GRH]

Hank, you clearly have a lot of insight from your multitude of interactions. If only the rest of the world could be so well informed!

As to the word "she-male," I would avoid it if you are looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship. If you are going to an escort service or picking up a hooker off the street, that might be different. However, many transgendered individuals take offense to that word, as it has generally been promoted by the pornography industry. Ditto to the word "tranny." I don't know how terminology is viewed in non-American culture, as that is my only context to speak from.

And yes, emphasizing (without overdoing) the feminine side of one's partner is greatly appreciated. Most tgirls like many of the same luxuries and delights as GG's.

[hankhavelock]

GRH, absolutely - the terms "ladyboy" and "shemale" should be used with caution. I rarely use them - instead I prefer transsexual or transgendered or ts or tg. However, in Asia, where I live, the terms are not considered quite as antagonizing as in the West. Here trans woman will happily refer to themselves as ladyboys or shemales.

So again it's a matter of feeling you way in and use the right lingo for the occasion :-)

[Bionca]

Yeah use "Shemale" at your own risk... I know I'd probably think twice about going out with a guy who used that word too much.

It's from porn, and porn is all good, but would you honestly walk up to an attractive woman in her 40's and call her a MILF? Or drop that in casual conversation around her? "Hey guys this is my MILF date." "I'd like to introduce you to Mary, she's a MILF".

Probably the universal faux pas in dating a TG is to use the wrong pronouns. Even escorts who advertise as "shemales" will show you the door if you call her "he". I've heard stories of guys in Thailand who wouldn't stop calling their LBs by male pronouns. Not only were they treated very coldly by every LB they met for the rest of their vacation, they had a couple of LBs who were so offended that they harassed the guy every time they saw him on the street.

[vibesfan]

I think that the best thing to do in all cases is to treat shemales as women and refer to them as women. This is a very important part of their transformation process and I think you'll find that you have a much happier lady as a result.