questioning my sexuality. a new member

[tamtam]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Bi/gay/straight, male/female/trans, pre/non/post op - they are all lables that are really only a mental short-hand for dealing with other people.

Labels aren't the real trouble: labels are used to better define a thing, so are a good idea if used properly.
The real trouble is when someone (that is mental short-hand, of course) use RIGID labels, forgeting real-life is more and more complex (and rich) and so a label couldn't define EXACTLY a thing or a situation.
This trouble not only happens when we refer to sexual tastes, but in all the aspects of the life.
A little example: you can go to a WW2 forum and confront a Tiger or a Panther (heavy tanks) with a Sherman (medium tank): in a par of minutes you will get at least a couple of replies from people that nearly insult you for the inappropriate paragon.....but they forget that in real life WW2 the TYPICAL tank combat in the west front was Tiger (or Panther) vs Sherman.......

[aguy]

It's all words man...

Shemale is not derogatory for me.It just indicates a person who looks female but has a dick.Just a word.

So get over semantics

[smc]

Originally Posted by tamtam

The difference between tgirls and girls is in the penis.
A tgirl that don't like this difference must be go to surgery.....and she will be an infertile woman, that was a 100% woman with a little handicap........not a very good result, IMHO.
IMHO for me, in my sexual view, a tgirl is in some ways better than a woman, in no ways worst than a woman, and in most ways absolutely equal to a woman.

Originally Posted by tamtam

Labels aren't the real trouble: labels are used to better define a thing, so are a good idea if used properly.
The real trouble is when someone (that is mental short-hand, of course) use RIGID labels, forgeting real-life is more and more complex (and rich) and so a label couldn't define EXACTLY a thing or a situation.
This trouble not only happens when we refer to sexual tastes, but in all the aspects of the life.
A little example: you can go to a WW2 forum and confront a Tiger or a Panther (heavy tanks) with a Sherman (medium tank): in a par of minutes you will get at least a couple of replies from people that nearly insult you for the inappropriate paragon.....but they forget that in real life WW2 the TYPICAL tank combat in the west front was Tiger (or Panther) vs Sherman.......

Originally Posted by aguy

It's all words man...

Shemale is not derogatory for me.It just indicates a person who looks female but has a dick.Just a word.

So get over semantics

Words matter, and this isn't about "semantics." It's about self-determination. You can both write whatever you want, but the bottom line -- and this is a bottom line militantly upheld on this site -- it's not up to you to decide for transwomen whether they are any particular thing. THEY DECIDE THEIR OWN GENDER IDENTITY. You can only acquiesce -- which is the right thing to do -- or you can rationalize taking away self-identity as a right.

[aguy]

smc you got this wrong man..

''taking away salf-identity as a right'' ? ? When the fuck did I do that exactly?

[smc]

Originally Posted by aguy

smc you got this wrong man..

''taking away salf-identity as a right'' ? ? When the fuck did I do that exactly?

When? When you impose your own language on the identity of another person or group, and then tell that other person or group that it doesn't matter because it's just "semantics" ... that's when.

I suspect that you have never had to grapple with what it means to be in a group oppressed by societal mores or prejudices. In those circumstances, things like your words that you see as innocuous -- "I like girls and I also like shemales" -- can cut like a knife. Don't you realize that in a sentence like that you are saying that these are different gender identities? How would you like someone to impose her or his definition on you, and then laugh off your objection by saying "So get over semantics"?

[aguy]

Point taken man but think of this very forum you're a member of:It's called Trans Ladyboy forum...So does this mean the whole website is offensive to its own subject?

Or should it be called Ladies forum?

Just something to comment on...

[smc]

Originally Posted by aguy

Point taken man but think of this very forum you're a member of:It's called Trans Ladyboy forum...So does this mean the whole website is offensive to its own subject?

Or should it be called Ladies forum?

Just something to comment on...

It's a nice change of pace to see someone give real consideration to the points made in a discussion of this sort and then realize that even inadvertent use of ungendering language is problematic. I appreciate your willingness to have done so.

The name of the Forum has been a subject of discussion from time to time, but it is not really a problem in the specific context of the discussion we've been having. To clarify: the issue with the language you were using is not the term "shemale" or "transladyboy," but rather the definition you chose to give a term, which thus ungendered people in that group. If the Forum were called "Transladyboy Not Females Forum," that would be a serious problem.

See the difference?