Discussion of TS as escorts

[Bionca]

While I think the percent of trans women in sex work is higher than average, a figure of 90% is way to high.

The rest of what she says is spot on. I think when a majority of your proposed dates end up being "relaxing evening at her place (never his place)" or splitting a hotel and getting room service - something is up.

Most guys didn't want to be seen with me in public - and I NEVER get read as trans (except this one time by a homeless guy). Most guys would never even think about introducing me to their friends - ever. Most guys never bothered to tell me about the wife and kids.

I can totally understand why trans women get into sex work for the reasons mentioned above. Jobs are hard to get, guys treat us like we are porn fantasies regardless of their financial investment in our time, we are largely saddled with sexual expectations that cis women aren't - it's no wonder some gals think "I may as well get mine..."

[smc]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Most guys didn't want to be seen with me in public - and I NEVER get read as trans (except this one time by a homeless guy). Most guys would never even think about introducing me to their friends - ever. Most guys never bothered to tell me about the wife and kids.

I can totally understand why trans women get into sex work for the reasons mentioned above. Jobs are hard to get, guys treat us like we are porn fantasies regardless of their financial investment in our time, we are largely saddled with sexual expectations that cis women aren't - it's no wonder some gals think "I may as well get mine..."

Whenever I read something like what you have written, Bionca, I feel compelled to make a comment.

My observation is that while many, if not most, men are pigs who treat women with such disrespect (and transwomen even worse) that it turns my stomach, there are some of us who strive not only to be different but also to point out the "shortcomings" of others when the opportunity comes along. I, for one, would be honored to introduce you to anyone. It is shameful that others are not. They are not worthy of being called "human."

In the small city I live that abuts Boston, our high schools have a program to introduce LGBT people to the entire student body and build awareness and respect. There is a zero tolerance policy for abusive language or behavior. And it works -- not always, but more often than not. I will never forget the day I was in a pizza parlor near the high school and overheard a hulking football player giving a stern lecture to another player about the nasty name the latter had just called a young person who had just left. I had not really noticed the person in question, but from the lecture I discerned that he was a very effiminate young man or perhaps a transwoman. In any case, the football player who was lectured actually acknowledged that he was wrong.

A small step, but ...

[racquel]

I have to agree with everything Bionca said. I know a whole lot of TS people, and only one of them used to be a prostitute now and then, and she has histrionic personality disorder and is a horrible person.

[sosed]

Originally Posted by smc

Whenever I read something like what you have written, Bionca, I feel compelled to make a comment.

My observation is that while many, if not most, men are pigs who treat women with such disrespect (and transwomen even worse) that it turns my stomach, there are some of us who strive not only to be different but also to point out the "shortcomings" of others when the opportunity comes along. I, for one, would be honored to introduce you to anyone. It is shameful that others are not. They are not worthy of being called "human."

In the small city I live that abuts Boston, our high schools have a program to introduce LGBT people to the entire student body and build awareness and respect. There is a zero tolerance policy for abusive language or behavior. And it works -- not always, but more often than not. I will never forget the day I was in a pizza parlor near the high school and overheard a hulking football player giving a stern lecture to another player about the nasty name the latter had just called a young person who had just left. I had not really noticed the person in question, but from the lecture I discerned that he was a very effiminate young man or perhaps a transwoman. In any case, the football player who was lectured actually acknowledged that he was wrong.

A small step, but ...

I find this program excellent idea. I think it could be more common in schools. How do they describe identity disorder, when there is male in female body or female in male body? I'm sure science know here much more than what is common known. After all understanding of trans people could, in the long term, give them proper legal status and laws, that they could normally live as any other citizen.

[JodieTs]

I got a different deal from most trans.
My man got to know me really well via email and phone calls
before meeting me for real, on a number of visits.
On my first visit to his place [for a week, he lives abroad]
he arranged a dinner party every night at a different friends house.
He also introduced me to the majority of people and businesses he is connected to.
At the time, I was hyper-paranoid about anyone knowing about my "T"
This was very important to him as well as he thinks there would be a negative impact on him
if anyone knew 'that thing' about me.
Personally, I don't think there would be.

I'm in a very different place now and while I never get 'read'
{On the very rare visit to tranny bars, people assume I'm a supportive wife to a cross-dressing husband!}
I have found an equilibrium within myself
where I really don't care if a person knew about my "T"background.

My man is not in the same mental place, and I respect that by not wearing my vest with the message:
Horny, hot & hung!

He certainly doesn't keep me hidden,
and he continues to surprise me with the posh Do's & functions he takes me to
as well as the famous and powerful people I end up socialising with.

Two of the long-term couples who are close friends of mine
have relationships which in many ways are similar to mine, ie. normal.
The women friends who have a T history, are never kept in the dark nor hidden away.
They are treated by their men correctly, which is as well loved female partners.

Trans who are treated as a dirty little secret
...well that is their male partners issues & insecurities.
It is also a wider reflection of the societies in which we exist,
where trans is the new gay
and therefore taboo.

Trans long term visibility in mainstream is the only way
for societies to grow and accept us.
I'm totally stealth {work & this forum, acknowledged}
So I'm not seen in wider society as trans
and so I contribute nothing to trans normality/visibility.
I wish there was something I could do
which does not involve throwing away the one thing I've strived so long for
and made huge sacrifices to achieve.
Oh well....

[franalexes]

Originally Posted by Bionca

.

Most guys didn't want to be seen with me in public - and I NEVER get read as trans ..."

Most ? Then you are mostly seeing the wrong guys.
I would suspect then that they are fearful of being seen by their friends that might know your TS status.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Most ? Then you are mostly seeing the wrong guys.
I would suspect then that they are fearful of being seen by their friends that might know your TS status.

Guys one meets online in dating sites (ever trans specific ones) are game for secret meetings and "discrete" hook ups.

[franalexes]

Wednesday 1-19-11. Portland , Maine
body of 22 year old escort found in Portland harbor.
Details of homicide were not revealed.

[tslust]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Wednesday 1-19-11. Portland , Maine
body of 22 year old escort found in Portland harbor.
Details of homicide were not revealed.

In Kansas City, MO (Which is next door to where I live.), several years ago, a number of prostitute were found dead. Some of them were found in the river, just their torsos, their arms and legs and heads were never recovered. And there's the Craigslist killer, and the endless stories of people's friends who have been kidnapped and taken to different countries as sex slaves.

Basicly said, escorting/prostitution can be very dangerous.

[Sammitranni]

I come from a background (South and East London) and a family which has had involvement with escort work anyway, lol, so its not all that odd to me. I know a good few girls who do it 'part time' (mainly out-calling) for extra money - and a few full timers. I've only met one other TS escort though - and that was socially in Barcelona, lol.

I'm very rarely noticed as a TS - I go clubbing a lot and most men just treat me with the same flirty banter that most of us 'Essex Girls' get, LOL. I don't think its true that all TS get 'pushed down' - whenever I've informed anyone of my status (and in dating situations with potential sex happening you have to really lol) the most common response is more of interest than anything else. I suppose it depends where you might want to work.

I suppose if you need the money for an operation then its probably one very fast way if you are a suitable type of person for the work, but its certainly not for everyone.

[merelypink]

I would say 10% are escorts and that might be high...

[macc]

Originally Posted by Bionca

While I think the percent of trans women in sex work is higher than average, a figure of 90% is way to high.

The rest of what she says is spot on. I think when a majority of your proposed dates end up being "relaxing evening at her place (never his place)" or splitting a hotel and getting room service - something is up.

Most guys didn't want to be seen with me in public - and I NEVER get read as trans (except this one time by a homeless guy). Most guys would never even think about introducing me to their friends - ever. Most guys never bothered to tell me about the wife and kids.

I can totally understand why trans women get into sex work for the reasons mentioned above. Jobs are hard to get, guys treat us like we are porn fantasies regardless of their financial investment in our time, we are largely saddled with sexual expectations that cis women aren't - it's no wonder some gals think "I may as well get mine..."

It's kinda sad to hear this because I am one of those types of guys you are describing. It's a sad thing for myself to admit but it's true. I live in an unpopulated state where there really isn't any TS girls so people just aren't used to them, and they def wouldn't be used to me telling them how much I like them.

I have to drive 6 hours to the nearest city to visit them. A couple I've become good friends with and actually will go out with them on the town, though that's in a city where noone knows me so it makes it easier.

Theres no doubt about it, it would be hard being a ts girl in our society. I couldn't imagine. It's because of people like myself who are to scared to come out and discuss what we like with our good friends. The strange thing is my friends would still accept me even if I did tell them.

I fall under the I love women and TS but not men catagory.

Now going to the escort issue.....

It's sad because all the ts women I find attractive happen to be escorts. Now if I were ever to date one it wouldn't be an escort for obvious reasons. I understand they have to make their money but at the same way there are many ways to make money in our society. The one thing capatalism has given us is a platform for us to be able to come up with a creative idea and make a profit on it.

Over the years I've actually become pretty good friends with some of the top ts models. Yasmin, Sarina Valentina, Foxxy....just to name a few. I'm an attractive guy and I've always found it easy to get responses back from beautiful ts women. In saying this there is no way I could ever date any of them because of the business they work in. I have a a different standard in a women then that. Escorting is fine and it's there choice, but I wouldn't want to share and I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to ask for. I would hold a TS to the same standard as I do any GG. So it's to bad most of the hot ts women are in the industry. Or at least hot women I meet/know.

[JodieTs]

I know a lot of hot trans women
who don't escort
and hold the same values as you, on the relationship / dating / escort thing.

The truth is that if you are Ts, you do end up with a lot of Ts friends from all walks of life.
It's a safe comfort thing; we chat with each other and sometimes socialise
just because of the "T" thing in common.

Without that connection with others, a lot of Ts women are so hidden from their history.
One of my real world friends work in a very high visibility position in
consumer liaison. That means she interacts with huge numbers of people,
none of who are any the wiser.
Her on-line name on a trans forum for a while was Stealthlite, which sums it up nicely.

• You have trans who are generally visible because they either choose not to hide their past,
  or are by appearance/build. unable to. Mostly it's sadly the latter.
• You have a very small % of trans who are generally visible because they escort / do porn.
  and finally
• You have trans who are generally invisible because they do not escort and because they appear to be a bio-female.

Which is a bugger if you want to date a concept [a trans-female]
rather than a specific person [Susie who has a trans background]

Damned if I know.