Loneliness

Enoch Root · #1 10-10-2010

Church? Not so good for me. There is nothing to do here. It is the typical suburb: static, soulless, boring. There is no sense of community. For reference listen to Rush's "Subdivisions."

This is all strange to me, being driven to this point emotionally. Its been there for a long time, just never quite like this. Frankly, I feel silly that feel the way I feel, but I am also terrified of the obvious possibilities in the future.

franalexes · #2 10-10-2010

wrong start again, right from the "get-go".
It might not be what is good for you, maybe it's good for THEM.
Time spent serving others is more rewarding than sitting on your ass waiting for the world to come to you.

ila · #3 10-10-2010

You need more help than this site can provide. Fran has one possible solution for you. You need to talk to someone that can really listen to you and help to guide you. Regardless of what you think of churches a priest will listen to you and his service is free.

Enoch Root · #4 10-10-2010

It feels as if there are sentences missing from your posts. I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell me.

Am I under attack here?

Enoch Root · #5 10-10-2010

I'm just looking for a bit of support.

Should I just delete the thread? Can I even do that?

ila · #6 10-10-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

It feels as if there are sentences missing from your posts. I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell me.

Am I under attack here?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

I'm just looking for a bit of support.

Should I just delete the thread? Can I even do that?

Why would you think that you are under attack? You wanted to express your feelings and find some support. Fran simply gave you one solution and I expanded on it slightly.

My main point though is that the members here are not qualified to give you professional help. Many members will gladly contribute to your thread and try to help you. Your best help though will come from someone who has the training and background in psychology and that person is best able to help on a face-to-face basis.

Enoch Root · #7 10-10-2010

Fran's tone seemed a bit dismissive. Maybe I'm reading them wrong. If I'm wrong: sorry.

ila · #8 10-10-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

Fran's tone seemed a bit dismissive. Maybe I'm reading them wrong. If I'm wrong: sorry.

I don't think Fran was being dismissive. She is a very sincere person in situations like this.

I wish you all the best and please don't do anything to harm yourself.

mabedzaqueen · #9 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

For reference listen to Rush's "Subdivisions."

In my early twenties, long before I realized how much Freedom was important to me, music helped me a lot; not just listening to it, but also playing some of it... (Had the big chance of living in a house where there was a piano). I've never been talented, but relied on my "ears" and would spend evenings practicing until I was able to reproduce myself the beautiful melodies of my then-heroes (the Stones, the Who, the Beatles, the Kinks...) The thing is, it kept me busy and helped me appreciate this gift that life is, even though I was the skeleton-type no one wanted to be seen with...

**You didn't mention what music does for you; if it's just there to fill the silence or if it doesn't "play" with your emotions at all, then maybe disregard this post**

randolph · #10 10-11-2010

I would suggest that you don't need advice, what you need is understanding how your mind is deceiving you. The book titled "Now" by Eckhard Tolle is an excellent place to start. It is a compilation of much of the wisdom humans have compiled over the ages. It has worked for many people. Tolle is also on youtube but the book provides the insite that you need. Let the good person within you come forward and take control of your mind.

smc · #11 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by randolph

I would suggest that you don't need advice, what you need is understanding how your mind is deceiving you. The book titled "Now" by Eckhard Tolle is an excellent place to start. It is a compilation of much of the wisdom humans have compiled over the ages. It has worked for many people. Tolle is also on youtube but the book provides the insite that you need. Let the good person within you come forward and take control of your mind.

Enoch Root, I would advise you to tread very lightly with any "self-help" guru such as Eckhart (the correct spelling) Tolle, especially one endorsed by the Queen of the Facile, Oprah Winfrey. You don't need to enrich Tolle further to figure out what to do.

Enoch Root · #12 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc

Enoch Root, I would advise you to tread very lightly with any "self-help" guru such as Eckhart (the correct spelling) Tolle, especially one endorsed by the Queen of the Facile, Oprah Winfrey. You don't need to enrich Tolle further to figure out what to do.

Thank you for that piece of advice, smc. Ah yes, the dreaded Oprah recommendation. Perhaps the only good thing she has ever done was that William Faulkner box set. (Which oddly enough sits across from me right now...) I never much cared for the woman, never have seen her show, but when I learned she had enthusiastically endorsed the book "The Secret" I knew with how many grains of salt to take her. Aren't you a teacher, smc?

And I just saw he's New Age, so yeah...

How does that Menken quote go: "For every complex problem there is a simple, easy and wrong solution?"

randolph · #13 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

Thank you for that piece of advice, smc. Ah yes, the dreaded Oprah recommendation. Perhaps the only good thing she has ever done was that William Faulkner box set. (Which oddly enough sits across from me right now...) I never much cared for the woman, never have seen her show, but when I learned she had enthusiastically endorsed the book "The Secret" I knew with how many grains of salt to take her. Aren't you a teacher, smc?

And I just saw he's New Age, so yeah...

How does that Menken quote go: "For every complex problem there is a simple, easy and wrong solution?"

The ego is the source of much human unhappiness.

randolph · #14 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc

Enoch Root, I would advise you to tread very lightly with any "self-help" guru such as Eckhart (the correct spelling) Tolle, especially one endorsed by the Queen of the Facile, Oprah Winfrey. You don't need to enrich Tolle further to figure out what to do.

To assume a book is not worth reading simply because Oprah Winfrey likes it seems rather presumptuous. Would you refuse to buy a car because she owns one?

smc · #15 10-11-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by randolph

To assume a book is not worth reading simply because Oprah Winfrey likes it seems rather presumptuous. Would you refuse to buy a car because she owns one?

Randolph is correct. The problem of the book will be found between its covers, not in the endorsements on the cover.

joshuaty2010 · #16 10-12-2010

hmmm. Interesting book to read. But i heard this book to my friend and she said it really nice to read it.

Enoch Root · #17 10-12-2010

Add to the Digital Age a near complete lack of a sense of community everywhere in the Western world (or maybe those places touched by the hand of the US) and you have yourself the recipe for something awful. Two examples to illustrate both those things: 1)I have lived in the same godforsaken suburb my entire life, but have yet to experience anything like the community coming together for celebrations or bringing many to the fold; as is often the case, no one knows their neighbor and no one cares, it may as well be New York; 2)My mother has recently discovered Facebook and now scours the site incessantly, but to what purpose? She is so lacking in self-assessment, or she doesn’t care, that she can’t see how meaningless her actions are, how they add nothing to her days and her life.

Yes, it is a terrible loneliness that resides in me. I am not obsessed with transsexual woman. I met one whom I thought was lovely and I fell hopelessly in love, hopeless Romantic that I am. It all went awry and now I am left with nothing but mornings and nights cursing myself for what I didn’t do. This is a situation exacerbated by the fact that I really do want a transsexual girlfriend, yet could not begin to tell you where to find one where I live. I may as well give up on that front.

I have no need, and no love, for the teachings of spirits or modern gurus. I do not want the silly and ultimately empty promises of crystals, balms, benedictions, transubstantiation, and the feel good teachings that are everywhere, from the pulpits of megachurches like those of Osteen, to those of unorganized believers of mashups like Tolle. What I need is something much more earthly and much more beautiful, and absolutely vital to the continuing health of an individual.

I now question the wisdom of ever having created a thread here. When I created it I did so because of the circumstances behind my depression, that is to say, it involved a transsexual woman; which is a topic I have not even discussed with my best friend. On all my island there is only one soul who knows of my attraction to this girl, and I am not even sure he has taken the logical leap to assuming I am attracted to transsexual women. I posted here because it seemed pretty clear to me I wouldn’t be judged for my sexual proclivities. But now it feels like griping is beginning to hold sway in the thread.

randolph · #18 10-12-2010

SMC "By pushing this agenda, Randolph, you not only hijack the thread from Enoch Root, but you do so in a very insidious way."

Your accusations are insulting outrageous and untrue. Agenda? Hijack? Insidious? Nobody else on this forum has accused me of these things. I am simply sharing some information that is interesting to me. I hope this is a forum for the free exchange of ideas, if not then I am out of here.

Jenae LaTorque · #19 10-12-2010

?Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.? Henry David Thoreau

Many older men have been quoted as saying that they regret not so much the things they did as they do the things they didn't do. So, you can stay there in your "nest" and grow old and bitter over life, or -------- you can go out to sing, and see what life has to offer.