funny joke!

[Jenae LaTorque]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty

[The Conquistador]

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?"

Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"

[dauls]

A 7-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 7-year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 4-year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, OK?"

"OK," the 4-year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7-year old what cereal he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops" WHACK!!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4-year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fuckin' ass it won't be Coco Pops."

[suebone]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours ?
SCROLL DOWN,----->












<----- SCROLL UP.







sue b

(short&sweet)

[randolph]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? '
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than a buffalo . It means someone stole the tent.'

[transjen]

A 17 yr old boy walks up to his dad who happens to be a minaster and says,
Dad u just got my drivers lic and i'd like to borrow the family car.
His dad replies
Well son i think you should improve on a few things like your grades and you haven't been reading the bible and your hair is to long
So his son walks away and comes back a few months later and says
I've been studing real hard and have brought up my grades and i've been reading my bible everynight so can i borrow the car?
His dad looks at him and says
Yes your grades have improved and i see you everynight reading the bible but your hair is still too long.
The son just smiles and says
Well dad in the bible Mosses had long hair as did King David and so did Jesus
The dad just looks at him and says
True but you are forgotting one thing, They all walked
Jerseygirl Jen

[randolph]

Subject: 4 marriages



An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go"

[suebone]

Q. How do you make holy water ?
A.Boil the hell out of it .

sue b
(short$sweet)