Feared or Respected?

suebone · #1 09-25-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

When i told you to elaborate, i tought you had a question about respect and you weren't stating it properly, since many of the other posts were questions about respect, and i tried to ansewer them to the best of my abbilities.

But it seems you just wanted to state what happened to you, well then it's fine by me, i wasn't trying to pry, i just tought you had problems expressing your question.

By your posts, you seem like a realy girly girl, fragile even, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but it does leave you "open for attack" as it were, and some unsavory people can and apparently have taken advantage of that, the problem is not you, but them, they are vile people, and as such do vile things.

The thing is to get respect you have to give respect, and you then have to work at earning the respect that was first given freely, and so does the othe peraon(s) you are dealing with, but...

But, if they don't respect you, you have to stand up for yourself, i know it is easier said than done, i am a male 6' tall 180# when i ran into the 4 guys, if i would have been 5'4" 100# tgirl, i would have to have handled the situation very differently, how? To be honest i don't know.

If i see a pisse-off girl, i don't see her as a threat, very few women know how to fight, and are usually not going to attack a guy no matter how mad they are, but if i see a pissed-off guy, i percieve him as a possible threat, and i know how to take care of myself, within reason of course.

But then again, you dont have to be King Kong to intimidate someone, i've seen a petite little girl intimidate a BIG guy once, it was funny in a way, but she didn't take his shit and did it VERY well, i had alot of respect for that little girl, she didn't let her small stature prevent her form standing up to the much bugger guy that was maligning her, if it got physical, he would have torn her to shreads, but she didn't let it go that far, i'm sure she was at least a bit afraid, but she stood up for herself non the less, and one thing she did was that no matter how afraid she was she DIDN'T let it show.

As you notice i don't have all the ansewers, but as far as i'm conserned, to live in fear is no life at all, and sometimes you have to stan-up for yourself, because no one can do it for you, your sister can help you, and she can stand up for herself, but only you can stand-up for yourself, when she helps you and stands up for you, she is in effect standing up for herself and you, and she's the one that gets the respect, not you, you will only be safe from them when she is with you.

Another important point is knowing when to stand-up for yourself and when to let things slide, you should never fight a battle you can avoid AND have no chance of winning, and even if someone makes you the target af a slightly malingnate joke, you can let it pass, but not if they do it to taunt you.

Also, if you feel confortable about posting a pic or two, i would like to see you and your TWIN sister togather, since she is your best freind, but you don't have to if you don't want to.

JohnDowe (Peter).

Peter, I have the fear/respect part down,and will be taking the rest of it to your Battered women post ;Thanks sue b

johndowe · #2 09-26-2009

Hi there.

TWO THINGS THAT I FORGOT TO DO ON THE 22nd...

I appologise for taunting you all.

AND THANK YOU, TO ALL THAT HAVE POSTED.

JohnDowe.

johndowe · #3 09-26-2009

Hi there.

More about respect.

If a guy gets picked on by others, and is beeing bullied, then he gets a gun.

Asked, he will say: I didn't get any respect before, now i do.

But is it respect?

No!

The reason he is no longer gets picked on is because he has a gun, and the guys that picked on him don't want to get shot, but if he lost the gun and they knew it he would realy get it, so where's the respect?

When you dis-respect some one, you also dis-respect yourself, you belittle your self, you also loose respect from those who see you dis-respecting others.

Earning respect is very easy, if you are a decent human beeing, you treat others like you would want them to treat you, you accept them as they are, and we are all different in one way or another, we aren't all the same, we all have feelings and emotions, we all have things we like and things we don't like, we are not always wrong, and we aren't always right (except me of course, Joking) and if you have a difference of opinion, you talk to them about it, in a calm and freindly way; respectfully, you don't attack them because they are different or have a different opinion than you, that is dis-respectfull.

Respecting someone you like is easy, respecting someone you don't like is not as easy, but the fact that you don't like him does it make him less of a person? And hence not worthy of respect? Of course not, and if you respect him even if you don't like him, you respect yourself and he should respect you back and eventually you could even become freinds, but not if you dis-respect him.

Personally, when a new tennant moves in "my" building and i see him or her i greet them with my signature "Hi there." and they usually respond positively, only one tought i had ulterior motives, but after a few times i said hi to him he spoke to me and told me that where he came from, when people spoke to him it was to get something from him, and he appologised.

I worked door to door for 7 years, and i was good at it, some of the reasons were because i was freindly and respectfull. In those seven years i only got the door slammed in my face 3 times, and once a guy tried to close the screen outer door i was holding, i didn't move to let him close it and stared him down, he appologised and closed the door, he didn't slam the door in my face like he wanted, and i didn't make my sell, but i didn't let him dis-respect me.

Love and respect...

If you love someone you respect them, and when you are in a relationship, and living togather, the respect should increase as the love also increases, that doesn't mean you should accept any thing and everything your partner does and sais, you can disagree with someone and argue with him without dis-respecting him, but all too often, in my experience, women get this notion that it is OK for her dis-respect her lover when she isn't 100% pleased with him, and when this happens she starts to bitch her little head off, AND not just about what just set her off, but also every little thing he ever did since they met, again and again, and after the 100th time she did that, he beats her up, then she's all surprised, wondering why he beat her she NEVER EVER did anything to deserve getting hit, much less beat up, why did he beat her? Because he was rightfully tired of her dis-respecting him and treating him like shit, it was wrong of him to beat her up, but it was also wrong of her to bitch her little head off at him, every single time she did it, if she realy loved and respected him she wouldn't have bitched at him in the first place, dis-respect breads dis-respect, and it is never healthy.

IT IS NEVER OK TO DIS-RESPECT ANYONE, NO EXCEPTIONS.

And if you are, you shouldn't stand for it.

PS, i have stated it before, and i state it again, i have never hit any of my girlfriens or my (ex)wife.

JohnDowe.

Jenae LaTorque · #4 09-26-2009

Quote:

IT IS NEVER OK TO DIS-RESPECT ANYONE, NO EXCEPTIONS.

John Dowe

That is a ridiculous thing to say John. Without their opposites, most things lose their meaning. For everyone to respect one another, than the meaning of respect is gone.

Simple case: If I see a man kick a dog for no reason, I am not allowed to dis respect him? Get real man!

All I can figure you meant by this is that respect should be given until the other proves that they are not worthy of it.

As for me, there are plently of two-legged varimints in this world that I will dis-respect everytime. And would put a bullet in if it was possible to do so with impunity.

Would you respect these guys?

johndowe · #5 09-27-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenae LaTorque

John Dowe

That is a ridiculous thing to say John. Without their opposites, most things lose their meaning. For everyone to respect one another, than the meaning of respect is gone.

Simple case: If I see a man kick a dog for no reason, I am not allowed to dis respect him? Get real man!

All I can figure you meant by this is that respect should be given until the other proves that they are not worthy of it.

As for me, there are plently of two-legged varimints in this world that I will dis-respect everytime. And would put a bullet in if it was possible to do so with impunity.

Would you respect these guys?

HI there.

"Dealing with" the guy that kicked his dog is not dis-respecting him, it is correcting a wrong, he looses respect from you, yes, but in a way you are trying to help him to understand that it is wrong to kick his dog, as long as you don't kick him to show him, see the difference?

In your third statement, i agree to the extent that: if they don't respect you back, they don't earn their respect and are dis-respecting themselves and showing themselves to be only worthy of minimal respect, they are still human beeings.

Well, i agree that there are some vile people in this world, and some would deserve to be shot or even tortured to death for what they have done, but if you were to kill them, wouldn't that make you the same as they are, maby not as bad, but going down the same path?

About Hitler & Stalin, they didn't set out to be the way they were, when he was a child Adolph didn't aspire to kill 6,000,000 jewish people, but as he grew up and lived, his hared for others especially jewish people grew, and because of the stupid things the jews and the french did to the germans that started ww2, as i often say, it takes 2 to tango, you can't start a fight alone, but they did very vile things, and deserved their end, and more, but they were human beeings and deserved a minimal amount of respect even if they didn't show any to their victims, again if we do the very same thing they did, that makes us th same as the were, because, they too did what they did in reaction to what was done to them, where does it end? When we exterminate ourselves, and there are no more humans on the face of the earth?

It was written that eveil is easy, but good is hard.

And i agree that evil is easier, good is not always as hard as it is touted to be in that writing, when you look into yourself about an action you are about to take, you know if it is good or bad, and you choose to do it or not, so sometimes good may be harder, but evil or bad can also be hard.

But in the end you are more likely to regret a bad action than a good one, regretting having killed some one doesn't bring him(or her) back, while regretting having given the last of your money to a charity is not as bad and you will get more money at some point soon anyway.

And as i stated earlyer in this post, when you do a bad thing including dis-respecting someone, you dis-respect yourself.

JohnDowe.

ila · #6 09-27-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by johndowe

.........About Hitler & Stalin, they didn't set out to be the way they were, when he was a child Adolph didn't aspire to kill 6,000,000 jewish people, but as he grew up and lived, his hared for others especially jewish people grew, and because of the stupid things the jews and the french did to the germans that started ww2.........

You had better have some proof to backup a statement like that. I'm not referring to opinions, but to proof.

johndowe · #7 09-27-2009

Hi there.

First i NEVER said the jews deserved to be killed at auschwitz, far from it.

What i was refering to it the fact that the french and the jews flooded the already weak german economy with counterfit deutch marks, collapsing the german economy, Hitler beeing a failled house painter, already in a bad state of mind was made aware of that fact and consolidated his political career and used the jews as the reasons for all of germany's problems, they were responsable of a bit of them but not all of them, but saying that rallied the masses to his cause and gained more and more followers and support, until he got in power.

He was a clever man and VERY charismatic, but he was also consumed by hatred, and did horendous things, as we all know.

AS for proof i don't have any, any more than you do to contradict my statements.

The only thing close to proving this is the fact that the german economy did collapse and there were alot of counterfiet german currency.

And as we all know, those were volatile times and alot of records were destroyed, and not all accidentally(and on all sides).

Also i didn't think about what i was saying and i should have elaborated, but i didn't and i didn't mean to be dis-reapectfull of the jewish people or any other people for that matter, and for that I APPOLOGISE, but colapsing the german economy was a very stupid thing to do, irregardless of who did it.

JohnDowe.