"Real Girls"

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by jimnaseum

Make peace with your parents and find the guy thats looking for a girl like you
-Jim Landers

Well, the parents are a no-go. Once I grew some boobs they made it very clear they didn't want a daughter and haven't returned any attempts to communicate. I'm living SECRETLY with my brother because he's afraid that they will freak out on him too and (for whatever reason) wants to have active grandparents for his kid. Last I heard they didn't even have any pictures of me on the wall in the house *shrug*

Also, I only look for guys looking for gals like me. I have no desire to have that type of conversation with someone - one of the reasons I still only go dancing at gay clubs, won't date guys from work, give guys who ask a fake phone number ... I have no reason to trust that some random dude who hits on me isn't going to freak out (even if he says he doesn't care).

[jimnaseum]

I'm not a woman in a man's body, but a couple years ago I did find out I have a malfunctioning pitutitary gland, which kind of puts me in the soup.
As kids, we had a pact not to let our parents know anything that would lead to doctors or drama.
I still don't understand why guys looking for girls like you would be dismissive or whatever with you, even after they've shot their load. What's not to like?
I really do appreciate your patience and understanding, I'm sure you have all the problems that life comes with as well as a few more. Some of my favorite weekends have gotten me beaten up, confused, broke, and very very tired.
Hope this Kwissmuss finds everyone a little closer to God, wherever that is......

[DL_NL]

I've often noticed that guys here- and on other internet forums as well- don't seem to care about how they treat t-girls. They're no more than objects of desire to them, why bother treating them as humans with feelings? That really annoys me.

As for Transjen: do you live in the US? If so, geez... there's a lot of work left to get your country out of the sexual Dark Ages. And judging by some people's responses I doubt if it'll ever happen.

[fatbloke]

There is one thing i have noticed while being on this site,most of the guys who post here are just here for the fact that thy like to get off over shemales,for want of a better word,there seems to be no respect,just complete lust.

[transjen]

Originally Posted by DL_NL

As for Transjen: do you live in the US? If so, geez... there's a lot of work left to get your country out of the sexual Dark Ages. And judging by some people's responses I doubt if it'll ever happen.

Yes i do, But i do want to point this out it doesn't matter where you live this stuff happens to T-girls all over the world not just in the US, Please note i'm not putting down any country or state i'm just stating a fact, Yes in some place we are treated and accepted a lot better then in other places but no matter where you go you find a certen kinda of mentality that wants us locked away out of site out of mind because we don't fit in there way the world is supposed to be according to them, Neil Young said it very well" i don't feel like satan but i am to them" Jennifer

[randolph]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well, the parents are a no-go. Once I grew some boobs they made it very clear they didn't want a daughter and haven't returned any attempts to communicate. I'm living SECRETLY with my brother because he's afraid that they will freak out on him too and (for whatever reason) wants to have active grandparents for his kid. Last I heard they didn't even have any pictures of me on the wall in the house *shrug*

Also, I only look for guys looking for gals like me. I have no desire to have that type of conversation with someone - one of the reasons I still only go dancing at gay clubs, won't date guys from work, give guys who ask a fake phone number ... I have no reason to trust that some random dude who hits on me isn't going to freak out (even if he says he doesn't care).

Dear Bionca,
I really appreciate your comments and the comments by Fran and other Tgirls. I must admit I joined this forum to look at shemale images and feel horney. I imagined that transexuals were somehow more sexually endowed than genetic women. I had no idea that transitioning was so difficult and even dangerous, in addition to the loss of family support. I am sure you have heard the old story that when God created man he didn't provide enough blood to run the brain and penis at the same time.
I hope you will soon find the love you deserve.
Take care.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by randolph

Dear Bionca,
I really appreciate your comments and the comments by Fran and other Tgirls. I must admit I joined this forum to look at shemale images and feel horney. I imagined that transexuals were somehow more sexually endowed than genetic women. I had no idea that transitioning was so difficult and even dangerous, in addition to the loss of family support. I am sure you have heard the old story that when God created man he didn't provide enough blood to run the brain and penis at the same time.
I hope you will soon find the love you deserve.
Take care.

This post has been tumbling around in my head for a little while. The tone sounds almost like an apology (as do a number of posts here). There is no need to apologize for being sexually aroused by a trans*woman - shoot, I'm rather fond of it when a guy is aroused by this transwoman. There is also no need to apologize for men in general - since the topic on this thread absolutely passes to non-trans women. Some of the MOST vicious things directed to me and my friends (as well as more famous trans*) have been from natal women. Women are probably more critical of gendered presentation than men are (ask any natal woman who was tall, chunky, a tom-boy who was meaner boys or girls).

So, sure T-gals get disrespected front and back from a little slice of everyone. The battles over using public restrooms for example ... oh man. It's not just a guy thing and it's not just a sex thing. Liking trans* bodies and arousal is probably a good thing. Understanding that we are more and less than guys with tits is critical.

[desirouspussy]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Some of the MOST vicious things directed to me and my friends (as well as more famous trans*) have been from natal women. Women are probably more critical of gendered presentation than men are (ask any natal woman who was tall, chunky, a tom-boy who was meaner boys or girls).

I have come to believe that (natal) women are generally more tolerant towards homo-sexuality than men. Your comment therefore comes as a complete surprise to me, Bionca.

Personally, I have nothing but admiration for the courage and perseverance that you and many other transsexual women are showing. In fact, even though you're not into women, I would love to have you as my friend.

[transjen]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well, the parents are a no-go. Once I grew some boobs they made it very clear they didn't want a daughter and haven't returned any attempts to communicate. I'm living SECRETLY with my brother because he's afraid that they will freak out on him too and (for whatever reason) wants to have active grandparents for his kid. Last I heard they didn't even have any pictures of me on the wall in the house *shrug*
.

Same here my dad and brother wants nothing to do with me and as far as they are consered i don't exist, My mom is having a very hard time dealing with it but at least she is willing to talk to me, My sister blames herself long story there but short verson she caught me trying on her cloths and she just let me wear them in secert i think she liked the idea of having a little sister but she is blaming herself because i'm Jennifer now, Keep try to reach out hopeful one day they will come to terms with it, When your family turns there back on you that is the hardest slap ever but i'm affraid it happens all too offen, Try this i had my therapist talk to my mom and that broke the ice a little and started us talking agian Jennifer

[new believer]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well, the parents are a no-go. Once I grew some boobs they made it very clear they didn't want a daughter and haven't returned any attempts to communicate. I'm living SECRETLY with my brother because he's afraid that they will freak out on him too and (for whatever reason) wants to have active grandparents for his kid. Last I heard they didn't even have any pictures of me on the wall in the house *shrug*

Also, I only look for guys looking for gals like me. I have no desire to have that type of conversation with someone - one of the reasons I still only go dancing at gay clubs, won't date guys from work, give guys who ask a fake phone number ... I have no reason to trust that some random dude who hits on me isn't going to freak out (even if he says he doesn't care).

Okay, I see your points. But really think about it. If you feel you always have to be braver, blah blah blah, then your in for a rough ride. You accepted this life earlier because you felt it to be right. People will accept you because they feel it to be right. All those who just 'accept' you only as objects of desire, well that's what they feel. Sooner or later that feeling can possibly bloom into something greater. But don't jump ahead of me on this. DO be careful of 'dates' even GG's have to be. Do make a point of developing a 'knowing' relationship before a physical one. And the guys who bail, let them. their not worth it anyway. I feel I must defend some married guys as well as to refreshen your memory, as with even a dating couple, a girl(GG or TRANS) or guy will want to keep a certain amount of secrecy because they may want to see if the relationship is first worth the effort or 'lost' of their current mate. Not everyone meets, falls in love and stays together from the first. it's called growing up and moving on (and most times to the better). You seem to be having a rough time out there. From your posts, you seem like a really beautiful person. Please don't let the bad get to you. Your destined to make someone out there a very happy person. Enjoy yourself as you would as a teenager but with adult knowledge. If I could relive my life with what I know now, Boy would I be someone else. NB

[TracyCoxx]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I'm really not fond of non-trans women being called "real" girls, or for that matter trans women being referred to in the feminine with quotes around the pronouns

Originally Posted by Bionca

Also, I only look for guys looking for gals like me.

Ok, so it does seem that you distinguish between gals like you, and gals who are not like you. Shall we refer to "real" girls from now on as gals unlike Bionca? Or do you have any other suggestions for terminology we should use when talking about "real" girls with people who don't know Bionca?

[franalexes]

hmmmmmm, maybe girls you can knock up and gurls you shouldn't knock down. No?

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by TracyCoxx

Ok, so it does seem that you distinguish between gals like you, and gals who are not like you. Shall we refer to "real" girls from now on as gals unlike Bionca? Or do you have any other suggestions for terminology we should use when talking about "real" girls with people who don't know Bionca?

Curious you would quote only to make half-assed snarky comments. How about the bit where I mentioned that when a distinction needed to be made (indiating that in some cases a distinction would be appropriate) use of a term that implied deception or invalates to a Trans*woman's identity would be appropriate.

Making a distinction where personal safety could be compromised is simple self preservation. I happened to give some suggestions about terms to use, you could always go back a read them. Perhaps you have some you think would be more appropriate?

[SoWhatThenWhy]

I'm pretty sure this won't be a popular post, but I had to chime in. I think the reason some guys don't consider transgendered women "real" women is because they simply aren't. You may be a woman internally, but the term "real" is used to describe the gender we were brought to this earth with. It's like a person associating with a different race; no matter how much they feel they are that race inside, they'll never be.

On top of that, why would you want to be considered a "real" woman anyway? I think there's something special about being transgendered.

Meh, my two cents.

[ila]

Originally Posted by SoWhatThenWhy

I'm pretty sure this won't be a popular post, but I had to chime in. I think the reason some guys don't consider transgendered women "real" women is because they simply aren't. You may be a woman internally, but the term "real" is used to describe the gender we were brought to this earth with. It's like a person associating with a different race; no matter how much they feel they are that race inside, they'll never be.

On top of that, why would you want to be considered a "real" woman anyway? I think there's something special about being transgendered.

Meh, my two cents.

You are wrong. Transwomen are real women. Part of gender identification is in a person's brain. Just because a transwoman's genitals do not match what she feels or knows to be true does not make her any less of a woman. The definition you used is your own. That doesn't make it the correct definition. Your comparison of gender to race is like comparing horses to bananas. They are two completely separate things with no relationship, whatsoever, to one another.

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by SoWhatThenWhy

.... I think the reason some guys don't consider transgendered women "real" women is because they simply aren't. ..... the term "real" is used to describe the gender we were brought to this earth with. ..... why would you want to be considered a "real" woman anyway? .....

I don't think Bionca is anxious to be considered a "real" woman (at least not by the definition you make). Her objection concerns the use of the term "real women" in a context that differentiates from trans women and where the inference may be derogatory to trans women, suggesting that their "reality", their lives, are somehow less valid.

Here's some (partial) dictionary definition of "real" -
'actually existing, genuine, rightly so called, sincere, not merely apparent or supposed or pretended or artificial or hypocritical or affected'

Bionca and other trans women identify as women, live as women and wish to be accepted thus, and regardless of to what degree they choose to reveal their trans status, past life, or indeed genitalia, I'm sure they do not wish to have their existence perceived as any less "real" than anyone else's.

In this context the prejudice of differentiating as "real" and "not real" can, in extremis, lead to very real dangers as has been pointed out.

[Bionca]

Marlowe.. I couldn't have put it better

Ila ... you are completely correct about the race/trans* comparison

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Marlowe.. I couldn't have put it better

Aw shucks ...... :D

really is the most satisfying smilie, thanks!

Best wishes.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by SoWhatThenWhy

I'm pretty sure this won't be a popular post, but I had to chime in. I think the reason some guys don't consider transgendered women "real" women is because they simply aren't. You may be a woman internally, but the term "real" is used to describe the gender we were brought to this earth with. It's like a person associating with a different race; no matter how much they feel they are that race inside, they'll never be.

On top of that, why would you want to be considered a "real" woman anyway? I think there's something special about being transgendered.

Meh, my two cents.

I do want to say that I agree. There is something special about being trans* and surely nothing wrong with being trans*. I'm perfectly happy being a transgendered woman - it's just another way of being a "real woman".

[SoWhatThenWhy]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I do want to say that I agree. There is something special about being trans* and surely nothing wrong with being trans*. I'm perfectly happy being a transgendered woman - it's just another way of being a "real woman".

Thanks. I meant nothing negative by my comments, and I can see Marlowe's view.

But Ila, in the context I used the comparison, it's apples to apples.

A person is born to their race = A person born to their gender.

Oh, by the way, you're an absolutely gorgeous woman Bionca.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by SoWhatThenWhy

On top of that, why would you want to be considered a "real" woman anyway? I think there's something special about being transgendered.

Meh, my two cents.

This is a beautifully provocative statement that I will follow totally!

I think you are SO RIGHT!

Unless we start dealing with the cromosomes, which can get sorta messy, then this is the case!

A trans*woman is NOT judged by her cromosomes but by her ability to LIVE her femininity through her mind and given body.

And aint nothing very grander than that!

H

[Darha]

Be patient, I say that "real girls" are as they are in her minds, the body does not define anything (focus on your face, for me this say more than if you have a pussy or penis), I hope to find a woman like you and I know that are many who want to share a life, anybody an find the real love. Will be patient for the rest of the world, one day everybody will respects all of you as a "real girls"

thats just sick beating someone even if i wasnt attracted to tgs i know for a fact that if i ended up about to have sex with one then found out i know i would never beat them i just think that people that do that are really insecure and need to open their mind

[franalexes]

Originally Posted by TracyCoxx

Ok, so it does seem that you distinguish between gals like you, and gals who are not like you. Shall we refer to "real" girls from now on as gals unlike Bionca? Or do you have any other suggestions for terminology we should use when talking about "real" girls with people who don't know Bionca?

Chaulk one up for Tracy.
Bionca, I think the term here is "GOTCHA! " You want a guy(xy) that will treat you as xx but who is not looking for a xx.

[CCC]

Good Golly Miss Molly---after reading this thread I don't know if my opinion would get me a pat on the noggin or a kick in the pants. All I know is the moment a person starts living as a woman full time then I would call her a girl/lady/she/female etc. I have fortuneately met a number of TS's for a better word and have thought of them as ladies every single moment that I have been with them. I also admire them highly for the courage that they have as a whole to have the guts to change thier entire lives and go through all the turmoil of daily living. From what I have seen all TS ladies take more pride in thier appearance than most GG's because they emotionally and physically had to sacrifice --- not just been given it.

OK attack away

[jimnaseum]

Hey, I wrote Bionca TWO loveletters, she COMPLETELY ignored me!!

Bionca Darling, When you pass up all the rejects and retards at your local bar and go home with the hipsters and sex athletes, do you worry that you treated the "unattractive people" unfairly?

SHEMALE, CHIX with DIX, that's all sex drivel. Scientists have determined that consuming 6 alcohol beverages sets back human evolution 10,000 years. Mutts that fuck neighborhood bitches in heat? THAT'S ROMANTIC. Lions that choose a mate for life and raise a family? THAT'S RESPECT. An average guy trying to figure out what to call a dude with tits and stiletto heels? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

I think that self respect and respect for others might be the determining factor for a better world and better a human being, not so much for transgender issues, but for a nuclear-missiled world where millions of children starve every year, ..... and Bionca Baby, I don't care if you ignore me (now that MandyTgirl is here) ........I just think that transgender issues are more personal than social, I'm prouder of Bionca more for all the good works she's done here than her riveting little breasts, and all Pearls begin as an irritating little piece of sand.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by jimnaseum

Hey, I wrote Bionca TWO loveletters, she COMPLETELY ignored me!!

Bionca Darling, When you pass up all the rejects and retards at your local bar and go home with the hipsters and sex athletes, do you worry that you treated the "unattractive people" unfairly?

SHEMALE, CHIX with DIX, that's all sex drivel. Scientists have determined that consuming 6 alcohol beverages sets back human evolution 10,000 years. Mutts that fuck neighborhood bitches in heat? THAT'S ROMANTIC. Lions that choose a mate for life and raise a family? THAT'S RESPECT. An average guy trying to figure out what to call a dude with tits and stiletto heels? THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

I think that self respect and respect for others might be the determining factor for a better world and better a human being, not so much for transgender issues, but for a nuclear-missiled world where millions of children starve every year, ..... and Bionca Baby, I don't care if you ignore me (now that MandyTgirl is here) ........I just think that transgender issues are more personal than social, I'm prouder of Bionca more for all the good works she's done here than her riveting little breasts, and all Pearls begin as an irritating little piece of sand.

I really don't know what you are getting at.

Trans issues are quite personal... however, they have very real social implications. Try getting a job when your ID says "F" and every other bit of government paperwork says "M". Try dating where the only reference anyone has to a body like yours is porn, and these people seem to believe that in this one case, porn is totally true.

You have no idea what happens when I go out. Here ya go...

I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.

How I pick guys to date I don't see as any particular mystery. I an attracted to charm, wit, and smiles. I have some body types I tend to go for more than others... you know like normal folks do.

Since shemale is only used in porn and escorting - it would be like going to any woman in a bar and saying "I have always been attracted to whores, and I'd like to take you out". Now what your you expect would be the reaction?

[jimnaseum]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I really don't know what you are getting at.
Since shemale is only used in porn and escorting - it would be like going to any woman in a bar and saying "I have always been attracted to whores, and I'd like to take you out". Now what your you expect would be the reaction?

OH, I get it now, you're talking about the "Dating Arena" OK, sure, that has alot to do with your personal taste and I can't knock you for knowing what you like. That's YOU.

I thought you were talking US and THEM.

There are plenty of nice people who like Kenny Rogers music, but I just can't get too close to them. That's PRINCIPLE.

I'm a man in his fifties, my perfect match is some annoying old BAG!! Just like you are a woman, I am a 20 year old hipster.

There are probably many men in dresses that you would despise, and many men on hormones who are whores. You have become such a spokesperson for this forum, (for me) sometimes I forget and think you are speaking for them.

[Jenae LaTorque]

[quote=Bionca;119840]

I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.

While I don't go out in drag, I think I can see where it would be a difficult thing to decide when you are going to "drop the bomb," and the inherent risks when you do. I think I would try to make it a strict policy never to tell a guy face-to-face unless I was damn sure it would be safe to do so. I would insist that any guy looking for a date would have to call me up on my cell phone (not a home phone where my address could be traced) and talk to me first. Then the subject could be broached safely in a non-confrontational way. Many guys who might be upset at first and violent as a result of the disclosure, would then have a chance to "cool down" and may not even get as mad as they would later on, or as they would if confronted while their sex drive is in "high gear."
If you are bar hopping and looking to get laid that night, then obviously that is a differant game. "Looking for Mr Goodbar" has always been a dangerous business for all women. Going with any stranger always has it's risks. All women need to develop rules for the game. Always be cautious of the guy who wants to meet you outside the bar, club, etc... If he doesn't want to be seen leaving with you....there may be a dark reason for it. And in the case of being a transgendered women I think it would be only prudent to always let the guy know as soon as possible before he has too much invested. I think it is kinda comparable to being married to a gigantic insanely jealous man or having AIDS - you owe the potential paramour a warning!

Isn't there some kind of trans - jewelry (pins) that are fairly well known? Are there not known transgender nightclubs or bars where the clientele is pretty savvy as what to expect? For that matter - are there not online dating services who will match you up with the "man of your dreams", the guy who has professed an interest in trans-women.

It just seems to me that there are many options to meet guys, who you know are interested in trans-women, safely without doing the bar scene. I see presenting yourself as a normal women as downright dangerous because you are buckin' the odds. It is a very high percentage of all men who are not going to be happy to find out you have a penis like them. Furthermore, it is very unlikely that you will find a guy who will fall so in love with you that he disregards the "differance." Right or wrong, those are the bald facts of our society and culture.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Chaulk one up for Tracy.
Bionca, I think the term here is "GOTCHA! " You want a guy(xy) that will treat you as xx but who is not looking for a xx.

Nope- I'm looking for a guy who can respect me as a human, not an exotic sexual treat. Also, had Tracy actually read the post she quoted, she would have seen a few suggestions for what terms to use when required.

[shadows]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Nope- I'm looking for a guy who can respect me as a human, not an exotic sexual treat. Also, had Tracy actually read the post she quoted, she would have seen a few suggestions for what terms to use when required.

As I am one of those guys, I know that we are out there(in fact, there are some fellow respectful gentlemen to be found here as well).

I don't believe anybody deserves to be beaten, just because they are sexualy different, I think they do it because you bring out feelings that makes them think their gay, and it angers them, instead of going with their feelings, they become violent. Cowards, maybe not, just not in touch with their feelings, like some of us. This happened to me and I went with it, glad I did.

Originally Posted by jmad

I don't believe anybody deserves to be beaten, just because they are sexualy different, I think they do it because you bring out feelings that makes them think their gay, and it angers them, instead of going with their feelings, they become violent. Cowards, maybe not, just not in touch with their feelings, like some of us. This happened to me and I went with it, glad I did.

Their "feelings" are their problem. Yes they are cowards. Attacking someone because they are "different" is despicable.

One of my main causes is stopping the violence toward the LGBT community. Maybe because I have friends who have suffered. Maybe because I find the idea of someone beating up a person they presumably went home with because they were attracted to--only to turn violent--especially heinous. Maybe because I am capable of doing something about it.

The next time someone "feels" like that, I hope that they will come to see me instead. We'll talk about it...

[JodieTs]

I'm pretty much stealth all the time,
in that I don't shout my trans status anywhere
People see me and see whatever they want to see.
believe whatever they want to believe.

I do date, and quite early on, involves
"That conversation"
It used to really bother me, but now it doesn't.
This following blog post helped me get my head round things.
I now smile, wink, & say I'm a packin'...then tell them 'that stuff'
I just need to stop thinking about writing a written apology for the anatomical layout of my body,to anyone who finds me attractive.
Yep. I really mentally do think that
The following is the most awesome trans-related thing I have ever read.

http://therealkellyshore.info/2009/11/05/my-wish/

Stop Oppression. We can do it if we just be ourselves with out word slinging and violence.
Why is it we transpeople feel we need to talk back to a group of guys that clocked us in public.
Why do we need to escalate it so its another transsexuals? death in vain.
A beautiful individual working her/his way down the path of peace within her/his self.
The peace they will never be allowed over an escalated argument or dating a man or woman under false pretences.
I?ll go more into this topic later.
It?s a minute out of our day that we were name called, but we have 23:59 to keep on our path and the rest of our lives.
I say lets bury our pride and worry about ourselves and safety first.
Too many transsexual deaths? come from escalating the issue of hate.
We think standing up and yelling back at the person/persons emotionally abusing us,
is going to make them change their mind or change what was said that made us so mad.
I can tell you it wont.
I have always believed you can always catch more bees with honey.
When we decide to take part in the word slinging it escalates the hate more.
It gives them the catalyst to make it easier to physically harm us. Who knows if that day it will be a beating or death.
Why play with fire people?


I don?t get why we give these people filled with hate so much power over our lives?
We should worry more about what we think of ourselves and what our loved ones think,
before instigating a mob of haters. So they called us a fag, a man, a freak, a pervert,
or whatever lame attempt they can throw at us let them have it.
In the end we know who we are and what path we are on.
Let the them have their view, if thats what it takes to keep us safe for another day.
We still have our view, they haven?t taken it from us.
The media may strip us as they like, but we know who we are and thats what is important.
Hold dear to things in you life you value and love.
Remember that tomorrow we most likely wont even remember the incident the day before.
This keeps us safe and gives us the time we need to achieve our genders we need to be viewed as, live as, and love as.
Escalating hate with flinging words can result in having our life ripped away from us.
Remember time is precious, life is precious, and lying on a morgue table is not a wish I have for myself.
My wish is to get these men and women that have beat us and murdered us not have the option of a slap on the wrist with a thing called a sanity plea.
That judicial systems finally start seeing these crimes as hate crimes, and giving them the full punishment of the law.
We need to stop giving these people the angle they need to be set free for our deaths.


Lastly with ladies and gentleman that go around tricking men and women on dates.
I beg you to think of your actions before you keep practising this habit.
I realize you need to be treated as your gender, and maybe you think in your head you can?t be treated solely as that gender if they know.
I assure you this isn?t true!
Lets remember our dead.
Lets remember the beautiful teen Gwen Araujo who played with fire and in the end was burnt.
No she did not deserve this, she was a teen girl wanting to do what every teen girl does her age.
It would be great if we had the luxury of living as any other teen girl,
but we as transwomen have limitations we need to understand this and embrace this.
To protect ourselves.
To stop our murders.
Lets stop giving these people filled with so much hate an excuse to dismiss who we are so easily by killing us.
I am sure I?ll get many debaters on this, saying this is cowardly, but dear it?s smart.
Why throw away your life so easily?
Why do you feel the need to give these people who you only knew for that instant so much power on who we are?
This issue goes on a lot with transmen also tricking women,
violence is less in these instances,
but please remember Brandon.
Another young transperson wanting to be viewed as what he was.
A man.
He wanted to fall in love like everyone does, but loving under false pretenses under any admission will never work out.
There are those rare and lucky cases where tricking did turn out good for the transmen and women,
but don?t base these rare chances on fact or your fate.


Lets talk about what we should do.
Lets ignore the people that don?t understand us on the streets,
and put our anger towards getting our voices heard politically,
by openminded supporters, and by each other.
Lets stop hating on one another and focus this energy on getting transwomen and men
jobs, opportunities, and equal rights.
Lets try to figure out a plan to make sex work less of a stigma of what transsexuals are and do.
Let transwomen and men that have the means open businesses and hire other transpeople.
Many are doing this now, lets stick to doing this.
Lets work on helping our weak and making them strong, instead of focusing on the people who would rather see us dead.
Lets donate money to activist groups who are fighting for our rights in Washington, in our counties, and in our cities.
My wish is to become a more unified, caring, and helping community.
Rather than a community that reads one another, because one girl is less transitioned than the next.
My wish is the lover of transwomen and men stand with us to battle discrimination and oppression.
That they will be proud to say I love transsexuals for whatever their reasoning.
My wish is to see less transsexuals having money for sex and more mainstream jobs.
Even if it?s just stripping.
My wish is to bring our sisterhood and brotherhood together instead of transmen being on one side and transwomen on the other.
Lets stop oppression now.
Lets use our voices to uplift, instead of defending all the time.
Most of all lets stop our murders,
thats my wish.

I would love to see trans-couples come forward to talk about their successes.
Their love.
Their normalcy.
To help educate.
I know there are many couples out there but so little come out and talk, all you hear is about escorts.
We need to make a stand with empowerment and education, not with idle words and comebacks.
It leaves us nowhere!
XoXo

Kelly

[enigma1965]

All of of you look great its to bad these things happen I wish there was some thing I could do to help.

[cgeissler]

I remain baffled in the end by any attitude other than respect. It takes courage and LOADS of patience, not to mention the time and money to go through with transition. I just don't understand.