funny joke!

[The Conquistador]

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10.. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a weekand I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month,
so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this. "Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

A guy walks in a bar and anounces to the bar tender:

It's been proved scoentifacally that beer makes you smarter.

Unconvinced the bar tender ansewers "Right" sarcasticly.

The guy sais; "Well it made budwiser"




JohnDowe.

[Tbone]

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake.

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.

He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well, old sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he asks. "What's that supposed to mean?"

And she says, "You're not hard, you're not in, and your not getting your money back."

[randolph]

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The medicine man slowly, methodically, produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine. It must be respected. You take only teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until next full moon."

The old man was very eager to see if it worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.


His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

I wanted to take a trip to spain, but chucked that idea when i learned that,

The rain in spain stays mainly in the plaine.


JohnDowe.

[randolph]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

I wanted to take a trip to spain, but chucked that idea when i learned that,

The rain in spain stays mainly in the plaine.


JohnDowe.

I decided to go to France when I heard that the ants in France stay mainly on the plants.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

There once was a sorceress that lived in a small castle, and it was rumored that she was evil and had done some evil deeds.

So a small army went to her castle and demanded her surrender or suffer the consequences.

She repied to their threat; YOU MEN ARE CHICKENS...

They laughed, until they started to change into chickens...

And for the nex few months she had chicken soup, roasted chicken, making the best of the situation.


When she was about to run out of chickens, another small army was pounding at her door,

threatening to ram down the door and to take her by force.

Tired of eating chicken, she replied; YOU GUYS ARE LAMBS...

As she expected they laughed for a little while until they started to become lambs.

And as before the sorceress had a lot to eat for the next few months, lamb chops, lamb burgers and many other lamb dishes.


She had run out of lambs and was a bit anoyed that she now only had vegetables that she grew in her garden to eat when a

third small army came a knocking to her door demanding her surrender, by now she knew the drill, and tought about what

to turn the men into, thinking about what she would like to eat, and ham and pork chops came to her and her mouth watered

at the tought, so she went to her tower and said: YOU MEN ARE ALL PIGS...

She felt the magic exude from her body and the men booed her and then started to make fun of her, BUT they did not transform,

and they rammed the door down and captured easily the magically drainned sorceress and brought her to town where she was

tried convicted and burned her at the stake.


The morale of this story is two folds, the sorceress was secluded from the world and was ignorant of it's workings and

subequently she didn't know what every (other) woman knows; MEN ARE PIGS.


I told the joke to a few women, thinking they would agree wholehartedly, but to my surprize they defended men.


JohnDowe.