what do you find offensive

[optimusmike123]

so this question is to transgenders only

i have read a few threads recently and there always seems to be someone getting told off for being offensive and lack off respect.

so as a trans person what names or actions actually offend you?

and like i said i want answers from transgenders

[smc]

Originally Posted by optimusmike123

so this question is to transgenders only

i have read a few threads recently and there always seems to be someone getting told off for being offensive and lack off respect.

so as a trans person what names or actions actually offend you?

and like i said i want answers from transgenders

The question of language and terminology has been taken up in many other threads, and many of our trans members have weighed in on the subject. I suggest you do a search.

[transjen]

the term Gurl bugs me mainly because it's like someone saying you are not a girl you're a gurl meaning you are not a real girl just a wanna be hence we'll call you a gurl
Santa's naughty elf Jen

[smc]

Originally Posted by transjen

the term Gurl bugs me mainly because it's like someone saying you are not a girl you're a gurl meaning you are not a real girl just a wanna be hence we'll call you a gurl
Santa's naughty elf Jen

There is an interesting point to be made about Jen's response. Many men and even some TS members here, when they first begin to post, use the term "gurl." (I've even see some self-identified M2Fs use it on the site.) I was one of them, when I first joined the site. I learned from Jen and others that it was unacceptable. It had not occurred to me that one letter in one word could carry so much negative meaning ... but it's easy to see, from Jen's explanation, how it can and does.

That is why we are diligent on this site about ungendering language. To the degree that I play a role in enforcing our rules about ungendering in my capacity as one of the moderators, I do it precisely because I know that Jen (and others) are as much women as any other women who walk the earth.

(Jen, as a hockey fan, is actually in a very special and rare class of women ... my kind of woman! )

[Amy]

TBH, me and my friends don't really tend to be offended by "Tranny" or "Shemale", as we tend to use them among ourselves in the same way many young black men (And far too many stupid-looking white boys who think they're so "gangsta" ) will use "Nigga".

Well as SMC has stated. Anything that suggests that me or any other trans person on this site is anything but what we are. I.E. Shemale, not a real girl, ladyboy (even though thai girls use that word to describe them selfs), dick-girl. Anything that assumes we are like the girls in porn, or what have you. Everyone is different, so everyone will be or not offended to different things.

For a safe bet, don't ever assume anything, and just use the terms transsexual, TS, trans-girl, or just girl.

And I never really noticed the use of "gurl" before, but now I know it's used to distinguish between trans girls and *rolls eyes* "real girls". I find it offensive as well. It's like world of warcraft players asking if I'm a girl or a G.I.R.L. (guy in real life).

[Amy]

Yeah, "Gurl" pisses me off.

[Aust1n]

Originally Posted by transjen

the term Gurl bugs me mainly because it's like someone saying you are not a girl you're a gurl meaning you are not a real girl just a wanna be hence we'll call you a gurl
Santa's naughty elf Jen

What about t-girls who call themselves gurls?

[transjen]

Originally Posted by Aust1n

What about t-girls who call themselves gurls?

All because others us the term it doesn't make it less offensive to me

Santas naughty elf Jen

[Aust1n]

Originally Posted by transjen

All because others us the term it doesn't make it less offensive to me

Santas naughty elf Jen

Understandable.

[ImAlittleCurious]

No matter what you try to say. You will always offend someone. As you "enter" a world seen as... taboo. "Wrong" in the bible. It, all falls into how open you're mind is. How you view each person, regardless of sex. WE all have our own views.

[Melissa Pink]

Originally Posted by Amy

TBH, me and my friends don't really tend to be offended by "Tranny" or "Shemale", as we tend to use them among ourselves in the same way many young black men (And far too many stupid-looking white boys who think they're so "gangsta" ) will use "Nigga".

I'm on board with Amy on these two terms. I'm not at all ashamed of who I am but there are times when the terms "tranny" or "shemale" are perjorative. My girlfriends and I may refer to one another by these as terms of endearment but it's different when if comes from a males who often don't know the difference between a transvestite and a transgender. A couple of club or chatroom come on lines that trip my trigger are "How long have you been "dressing"? AND "When are you going to have the operation?" My reply is usually I try to see the best in people but some individuals make it hard to see anything positive about their personalities. My recommendation is to treat a transgendered woman just as you would treat any other woman and you will make a new friend and maybe more!

[franalexes]

[SIZE="2"]dauls requested I not write in magenta
SIZE]
Don't call me late for dinner.
I am not offended by the words unless they convey a disturbing attitude.
I understand that some of you guys are like being lost in the woods and come across a clearing. You don't know quite what to do with it. I understand you're search for words.

Mostly I am offended by the thought that because we are TS we also must be sluts and 'ho's.

Originally Posted by franalexes

[SIZE="2"]dauls requested I not write in magenta
SIZE]
Don't call me late for dinner.
I am not offended by the words unless they convey a disturbing attitude.
I understand that some of you guys are like being lost in the woods and come across a clearing. You don't know quite what to do with it. I understand you're search for words.

Mostly I am offended by the thought that because we are TS we also must be sluts and 'ho's.

Very good point Fran.

[smc]

Originally Posted by franalexes

[SIZE="2"]dauls requested I not write in magenta
SIZE]
Don't call me late for dinner.
I am not offended by the words unless they convey a disturbing attitude.
I understand that some of you guys are like being lost in the woods and come across a clearing. You don't know quite what to do with it. I understand you're search for words.

Mostly I am offended by the thought that because we are TS we also must be sluts and 'ho's.

Regarding the last point, I recently took a member here to task for writing something (seemingly innocently) that came across as thinking that way. To his credit, he understood immediately and was very sorry.

There is much work to be done.

Originally Posted by smc

Regarding the last point, I recently took a member here to task for writing something (seemingly innocently) that came across as thinking that way. To his credit, he understood immediately and was very sorry.

There is much work to be done.

I saw that post, and you were very quick on the draw. As always.

[smc]

Originally Posted by ThirdEyeGirl

I saw that post, and you were very quick on the draw. As always.

Thanks. Some things I like to do nice and slow, though (when that's what's called for )

Originally Posted by smc

Thanks. Some things I like to do nice and slow, though (when that's what's called for )

You big flirt you.

[smc]

Originally Posted by ThirdEyeGirl

You big flirt you.

Oh, my, now I'm so embarrassed for having given you the wrong impression.

Originally Posted by smc

Oh, my, now I'm so embarrassed for having given you the wrong impression.

Right... I so believe you.

[franalexes]

Originally Posted by ThirdEyeGirl

Right... I so believe you.

my thoughts exactly.

But, the exchange shall be taken in the manner intended.

[franalexes]

Last edited by smc : 7 Hours Ago at 02:53 PM. Reason: There were no edits made to Fran's post. I inadvertently hit "edit" rather than "quote."
I wish you had edited. I didn't mean to type the main body in large print. I guess I didn't hit 4 after I printed in 2.

I also mis-spelled. "You're" for "your".

[smc]

Originally Posted by franalexes

my thoughts exactly.

But, the exchange shall be taken in the manner intended.

This was necessary?

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by franalexes

dauls requested I not write in magenta

I am offended by Franalexes not writing
her above post in magenta

[stephanie4life]

Originally Posted by franalexes

[SIZE="2"]dauls requested I not write in magenta
SIZE]
Don't call me late for dinner.
I am not offended by the words unless they convey a disturbing attitude.
I understand that some of you guys are like being lost in the woods and come across a clearing. You don't know quite what to do with it. I understand you're search for words.

Mostly I am offended by the thought that because we are TS we also must be sluts and 'ho's.

Well call me a prude but I think people think of TS as sluts and ho's because so many of us act like sluts and ho's. I think there's a lot of people that don't really want to explore their feminity, they just what to play dress up and get fucked. I love sex like anybody else, but I'm not dressing up and waiting at the dock for the sailors to come home.

[smc]

Originally Posted by stephanie4life

Well call me a prude but I think people think of TS as sluts and ho's because so many of us act like sluts and ho's. I think there's a lot of people that don't really want to explore their feminity, they just what to play dress up and get fucked. I love sex like anybody else, but I'm not dressing up and waiting at the dock for the sailors to come home.

Isn't sweet when people blame the victim?

[stephanie4life]

Originally Posted by smc

Isn't sweet when people blame the victim?

And what victim would you be referring to? All I'm saying is if you wear a police officers uniform and act with authority people will think you're a cop, if you wear a fire fighters outfit and put out fires people will think you're a fire fighter. If you dress like a porn star and go around showing your ass what would people think of you? As far as transgender goes that behavior takes away from us because so many people perceive us as perverted man jerking off in dresses and sadly to many of us only live to confirm that.

[smc]

Originally Posted by stephanie4life

And what victim would you be referring to? All I'm saying is if you wear a police officers uniform and act with authority people will think you're a cop, if you wear a fire fighters outfit and put out fires people will think you're a fire fighter. If you dress like a porn star and go around showing your ass what would people think of you? As far as transgender goes that behavior takes away from us because so many people perceive us as perverted man jerking off in dresses and sadly to many of us only live to confirm that.

I agree that "if you wear a police officers uniform and act with authority people will think you're a cop," and so on, but here's what you wrote to which I replied:

"I think people think of TS as sluts and ho's because so many of us act like sluts and ho's"

I think that the percentage of transgendered people who "act like sluts and ho's" is no different than in any other segment of the population. However, people write stuff like this (see the initial post in the thread and my subsequent response):

http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=12528

The "victim" to whom I was referring is the trangender person who gets lumped into a stereotyped group because of the asinine prejudice, perhaps even subconscious, that is expressed in that post.