funny joke!

[ladyboyadmirer]

Here's something for young and old, unless you suffer from Arachnophobia



http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

[simmo]

Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him.

Mick says 'how you doin?'

Paddy says ' do us a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are bloody freezing....'

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed.

He says 'your dad's sent me up here to shag the both of you'.

They say 'get away with ya.. prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em, what's the point of fuckin one...?'

[simmo]

Swine Flu .........

The Big Bad Wolf snarled and said:

"I'll huff ...

and I'll puff ...

and I'll blow your house down!"

And the first little pig said:

"F**k off or I'll sneeze on you!"

[ladyboyadmirer]

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...One has a weak tikka and the other one is in a korma.

During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.

Asylum seekers in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.

[simmo]

These three little old ladies and their dogs were
sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation,
when a flasher approached from across the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies,
stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.




Marilyn immediately had a stroke.



Then Bev also had a stroke.



But Judy, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by simmo

...
The flasher came up to the ladies,
stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Marilyn immediately had a stroke.
Then Bev also had a stroke.
But Judy, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.

Thats a good one. I had to wait three seconds for the funny detail to sink in. stroke as in... stroking the cock!!

Originally Posted by Jenae

"Fuck or walk," says Smilin' Jimmy.

"Ok, let's fuck," say Sally with an air of resignation. And they did.

Afterwards with a satisfied smile on his face Jimmy asks, "Why did you finally go along, Sally?
"Well," she said, "I was willing to walk 5 miles, and I was willing to walk 10 miles."
"But," she continued, "after dancing all night, and my feet being tired,-----I'll be damned if I'll walk 25 miles...just to keep some sunny beach from catching the clap!"

All the time she was doing him a favour.
Clap: A common venereal disease caused by the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae;

A really cool joke.

[Jenae LaTorque]

At first I didn't see why you felt the need to define "Clap", then I realized that it is a slang term and maybe not used in many parts of the world. I also realized that in the present day, the clap is not so bad when compared to the possibility of AIDS. I guess that kind of dated me there. Ah, the good old days when the worst a fellow had to worry about was catching the clap or syphilis.

[randolph]

Here are three shorties dedicated to Fran.

How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds

What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
Normal

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way,
and the other is to let her have it.

[Jenae LaTorque]

The things we laugh at.

I never thought much about it untill I read Heinlein's book Stranger In A Strange Land when I was in high school. In it, Valentine Michael Smith (the protaganist of the story) makes the observation that much of humor is based on the pain of others. Being human, I do laugh at most of it, but I have to admit that most of the hate humor just leaves me cold. I live in Wyoming and you maybe wouldn't believe the homophobic jokes I heard after the murder of Mathew Shepard. Not to mention the aftermath of the Bareback Mountain movie. Sometimes I wonder if we are progressing as a society. I compare the gentle humor of Will Rogers to the Sam Kennison types we see today and I worry some. I mourn the loss of our innocence,

anyway, heres my contribution to the thread.

Sally Was a Good Ole Girl

Smilin' Jimmy picked Sally up at the bar Thursday night and drove out of town about 5 miles to Lover's Lane.

"Fuck or walk" said Smilin' Jimmy.

" I'll walk," said Sally and so she did.

Come Friday night, Smilin' Jimmy picked Sally up again. This time he drove clear out to Makeout Mountain which is about 10 miles from town.

"Fuck or walk," said Smilin Jimmy.

"I'll walk," said Sally and off she went.

Saturday Night, big dance in town. After dancing most of the night with Sally, once again Jim and Sally left together. This time he drove her clear across the county line, a distance of some twenty five miles.

"Fuck or walk," says Smilin' Jimmy.

"Ok, let's fuck," say Sally with an air of resignation. And they did.

Afterwards with a satisfied smile on his face Jimmy asks, "Why did you finally go along, Sally?

"Well," she said, "I was willing to walk 5 miles, and I was willing to walk 10 miles."

"But," she continued, "after dancing all night, and my feet being tired,-----




---I'll be damned if I'll walk 25 miles...just to keep some sunny beach from catching the clap!"