probably a dumb question

[ILNEgurl4526]

If you ask most experts on dating and relationships (not there are any real experts... but the kind of people who write advice columns and so forth), they often mention the remarkable lack of differences between gay and straight relationships, when you get down to the essential aspects. It stands to reason that the same would be true of relationships involving transgendered people would work similarly.

[charlietwobeans]

Originally Posted by ILNEgurl4526

If you ask most experts on dating and relationships (not there are any real experts... but the kind of people who write advice columns and so forth), they often mention the remarkable lack of differences between gay and straight relationships, when you get down to the essential aspects. It stands to reason that the same would be true of relationships involving transgendered people would work similarly.

I have, in the past, maintained wonderful relationships with transgendered women, and the only thing I ever did different than in a straight relationship was the use of that darn word 'transgendered'...I wish we could get rid of it for something less "clinical".

Seriously, why should it be *any* different from *any* other relationship - treat them with love and kindness and respect, caress them, kiss them passionately, look deeply into their eyes and open your heart to them, hold their hand, compliment them, read poetry to them by firelight, kiss the nape of their neck while they are getting dressed, be quick to touch them across the dinner table and slow to release them, hold the door for them, hold their coat, hold their purse, keep any connection you can to them, grieve with them, laugh with them, share with them, love with them.

In short, woo them as one would woo anyone one adores.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by charlietwobeans

I have, in the past, maintained wonderful relationships with transgendered women, and the only thing I ever did different than in a straight relationship was the use of that darn word 'transgendered'...I wish we could get rid of it for something less "clinical".

I dig what you say and I actually disagree a little bit. If we can NOT deal honestly with her transsexuality, if we can NOT allow ourselves to adore her for that fact also, then what's the point?

Why should we consider her transsexuality an inconvenient technicality? Why not just honestly adore her for that also? As a heterosexual woman adores her man and a homosexual woman adores her girl?

Why should we "explain" our attraction to non-ops transsexual women? Why? I don't have a clue why I'm attracted to trans*women, but the fact remains that I am. I don't want to have to explain that. I don't want to have to hide it or to go easy on the terms. The fact is that her being trans is now a CONDITION for my attraction to her. The same way being a man is a CONDITION for the hetero girl to be attracted to him. And being a girl is a CONDITION for the lesbian woman to be attracted to her.

I'm sick and tired of having to explain all the time. The fact is that I adore my trans*women and I DON'T want them to be "wannabe cis*girls". I want them to be just as they are. Transsexual women!

It's time we learn to accept and appreciate transsexuality for what it really is and not just as an attempt to be bio-women.

This world would be considerably poorer without the magic of transsexuality.

H