Am I really the only one who ever had a meaningful relationship with a trans*woman?

[Bionca]

I've been lucky I guess I had a guy for 7 years (before he ruined it) and how I have a pretty swell guy and quite a few very good male friends (you know who you are).

On the other hand, I've been with some total cowards, violent guys, as well as manipulative jerks. My friends and I could tell some pretty damning stories of how hard it is to find a guy.

I often assume that the trade-off for feeling ok in my own body is that I am unlovable. That I am ultimately disposable because I was selfish enough to do what had to be done. I know it isn't logical, but I've given guys so many chances both as individuals and as a group.

Stuff is good with the fella and I, but I just wonder when it will become too difficult, or he meets a cuter gal (trans or cis), or decides he wants babies.