dream came true - now what

[Bionca]

I can easily sympathize with your situation, but it is very difficult to empathize. I am after all coming from the opposite side of this equation. I don;t think you know just how rare is it to find a nice guy who can et us into their lives. Lots of guys say they can, until it happens.

I think it will become important to keep a check of your feelings. Also, keep her feelings in mind as well. I know that the past 2(ish) years being single has lowered my expectations of guys to the point I'm surprised when I get treated with something like respect, and downright dismissive when shown something close to genuine attraction. I simply assume it's a ploy and will be revoked as soon as it becomes too hard or whatever. My fear is that I will become so jaded that I can't allow myself anything. I have seen it in other gals and I really hate it.

So keep your emotions clear - keep your gal in mind and be very clear with your intentions. If you can't be Prince Charming, at least be fair and honest.

[horizontal]

thanks bionca.

have now done exactly that. laid it out face to face, what was possible what was not, why it would be unfair in the long run etc etc.

cleared the air. offered to be fairy godfather as long as she wants, shoulder to cry on, adviser etc - agreed. promised not to pursue her or to be nosy but to be an uncritical sounding board when and if she wants

made it clear how much i liked her and respected her and above all didnt want her to get hurt and perhaps the longer the situation went unresolved, the more hurt she might be, so best to get it straight before it hurts too much, but boy did it hurt me doing it

but now its done. we had a great evening, me free of the double header - you know, the 'wow this girl is great, dont let it stop', contrasting the 'i am being unfair if she doesnt have the whole picture'.

so what now - well.....whatever! still talking, but without forked tongue, meeting up tomorrow - best thing i have ever done. i dont feel duplicitous, i dont feel i am using her, and i know she knows that.

wieght off my mind