Grumblings

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by Bionca

PART ONE: My issue is.. His personality changes when we are in public. He is pretty distant in public and his way of interacting with people is to tease them and poke fun.

PART TWO: New Years Eve we all went out. His brother and friends and a few of my guy's str8 friends (who may or may not know I'm Trans*). I got my guy to dance with me at midnight - then... His brother drunkenly stated "You and your drag queen need to go get a room" and called me a "Hot tranny mess". when I gave him a questioning look.

PART THREE: My fella then started in with the "drag queen" comments AND started to tell his str8 friends about my penis - odd since he was insistent that I not mention anything to them before. My feelings were hurt, but I'm more confused than anything. On one hand, he was comfortable enough to tell his friends (graphically and rather pornographically about our sex life).

BIONCA:

PART ONE: His personality changes in public WITH YOU, because he is very subconscious of your trans status. He is being guarded by showing extreme care with his words and actions, which means he is not 100% comfortable with only a str8 appearance. The fear of being found out, leading to public humiliation.

PART TWO: Gay brother with alcohol reveals his true feelings about his so-called str8 brother's hypocrisy, and his feelings about your trans status in the gay community.

PART THREE: Defense mechanism in survival mode to the maxx!!

He PRETENDS to have no problem you are a tranny/drag queen, and PRETENDS he's using you for only sex, as this big macho dude. Why? His str8 friends cannot come at him as being gay, because he is knowingly sexing a tranny as a macho sex machine to be envied. He hasn't been found out, because he's not hiding--at least, that's the image he's projecting after being exposed by his brother.

PART FOUR: I use tranny & drag queen for effect only, because that's what the brothers (plural) are indicating by their words and actions as you've described.

PART FIVE: Now that the surprise in your panties has jumped out, like a jack in the box, bf might be more comfortable with his tgf down the road apiece.


Hope this helped you make sense of your situation,


TAL

[orion]

Hi Bionca ..

Nice to meet you .. If I may throw in my two-pennyworth (as a newcomer) ..

I'd have to agree that your Guy is showing classic defensive symptoms ..

His eagerness to taunt people & poke fun is like a "pre-emptive strike" .. He's getting "his" in first, thus wrong-footing them so that they don't question him too closely .. I'd say he's pretty insecure about his own sexuality ..

I must disagree that all Male egos are alike .. that's like saying that all T-Girls are alike .. and we all know that just isn't true .. each & every one of us is unique .. some Men are totally secure in their sexual identity (me for one) .. I'm not in the least ashamed of having a Pre-op TS Girlfriend & in fact want her to meet my family .. She is, understandably a little hesitant ..

Neither do I consider myself to be Gay .. I'm just a normal bloke who happens to prefer the company of Transgendered women & who has been fortunate enough to meet a T-Girl with whom I've fallen in love ..

My advice would be to "front him out" (English expression) for telling him how hurtful his inane comments can be .. and that if he doesn't pack it in .. He'll get the "Spanish Archer" (El Bow) .. another bit of English humour ..

Take care & Good luck,

Bye for now,

Orion ..