glad im not the only one

[Bionca]

Dennis,

I sometimes come across as being a bit harsh with guys in your situation. The reality is, it is hard to date a transwoman. You can double that if you are currently in a relationship with a non-trans woman.

Ultimately, you have to face the very same essential decision that each and every Trans*person faces. The decision to be authentic with one's self or not. Either decision has its good and bad points.

From my perspective, honesty breeds freedom. The saying "woman trapped in a man's body" is only partly true. It would be more correct for me to say that I was a woman living in a lie from birth through puberty trying to fool everyone (even myself). The moment I realized I wasn't a "feminine gay guy" was the first moment I truely could feel free. It had nothing to do with what I wore, or the length of my hair (shaved head and trying to grow a beard at that point). It was the first time I was honest with myself - it was only natural that I should be honest with everyone else in my life.

For guys, the situation is different, and both easier and harder. You have a choice - the easy part is you can hide it, visit a shemale prostitute, go home to the wife and kids and indulde with Internet porn. The hard part is, you have to make a choice - I didn't, that choice was already made for me so it made the process more clear.

Guys also are faced with the problem that someone could get hurt. If you are dating a trans and a non-trans woman at the same time, feelings are involved. It's a rare woman (trans or non-) who will be comfortable being a mistress (particularly if your relationship is based on emotion and not economics).

What you may decide to do, the key is to figure out what is really true for you. Like I said, honesty is freedom.

[3rdgenderlover]

hi all members,

thank u for reading my story and answered me. i feel that i have found a group where i can share my thoughts and my emotions.

thank you all for your supportanswers.

greetings,


dennis

[hankhavelock]

Dennis

It so often APPEARS harder and more difficult to overcome coming out of the closet than it actually is.

I've written quite a bit about this, so browse around the postings here :-)

And all best wishes!

H

[ocinteeni]

All I can say is it is easier for me to post this advice knowing that I will not be acting out or doing any of which I am saying. And because of this cirumstance it is easy for me to say what should be done.

First, to be fair to your girlfried that you are with right now. She also wants to be fullfiled in her life love/affection/etc., just like you do with love from a transexual. To continue to be with her is just leading her on, that really isn't fair. As far as the rest is concerned, you seem to be honest with yourself about what it is you want, now the hard part is letting the people that you care about know. There is no simple way of doing this, you just do it. Sadly some people might not think of you the same way. This is the way the world is period. Luckily the people that still feel the same towards you are the people that truly love you and are your friend. I could only imagine those sorts of people you would get closer to because you are more completely honest with them.

Also I have to say I commend you on trying to change your life to live honestly with yourself, I hope all works out for you.