Hello from melissa carter

Originally Posted by Talvenada

MEL,

You repeatedly say your idea of love, and I've only really heard that type of concept a few vague times, while yours is more pronounced. What is your idea of love, and is it different from the norm in a non-gendered way? If you have difficulty putting it in words let me know, and I'll put it in a standardized form that can be added to. subtracted from, and/or compared to.

You appear to be an open book, which is why I don't feel you'd feel uncomfortable being asked personal questions. So, that's why I don't feel intrusive by touching you in this matter, or if you want to squeeze me for an answer (s) feel free.

Just out of curiosity, Mel, if I asked the question in a different way: how many times in love as the feminine-role partner? This isn't a question of how many women or men or as a trans woman, and not trans lesbian or with a mannish woman. There are so many combinations out there.

It's that "in truth" once as a woman, when in your life story you say he when referring to many individuals you were in love with. It sounds like you started out as the man and male-role partner to the man and female-role partner to the woman and female-role partner.

I hope I didn't confuse you, because you appear to be extremely intelligent. Love is my favorite subject, and not many people do it multiple times.

Well, honestly that was a bit confusing.

Let's keep it simple: I was a boy and lived a boy's life, and during that time fell in love with four women. Then things started changing. I felt my femininity. I realized this was going to be life-changing not some passing phase or fetish I could hide in the closet. As I began transition my preference changed too. I became very attracted to men, and was only interested in a relationship where I was the woman. No other bitch could have that role but me. And I rekindled my desire for love again, and found it with one man thus far.

Now let's not confuse romance with sex. I'm still bisexual and the right woman can still easily gain my attention. But that's about sex, not love. And my preference sexually is to be all woman to a strong dominant hetero male.

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by TSmelissacarter

Well, honestly that was a bit confusing.

Let's keep it simple: I was a boy and lived a boy's life, and during that time fell in love with four women. Then things started changing. I felt my femininity. I realized this was going to be life-changing not some passing phase or fetish I could hide in the closet. As I began transition my preference changed too. I became very attracted to men, and was only interested in a relationship where I was the woman. No other bitch could have that role but me. And I rekindled my desire for love again, and found it with one man thus far.

Now let's not confuse romance with sex. I'm still bisexual and the right woman can still easily gain my attention. But that's about sex, not love. And my preference sexually is to be all woman to a strong dominant hetero male.

MEL,

Thanks for deciphering my trying to clarify my question, while I was trying not to be unintentionally insultive.

Having something very remotely similar in my past, that is that I'm bisexual, while only acting on the hetero side. I also was turned off and not attracted to men until I was 21.

You traveled down that road. At what point from where you started to CD to where you are now did you become attracted to men? What was your first CD experience--like lipstick only?

[Nikki]

welcome Melissa

[armed_rober]

thanks for sharing and posting your link you truely are a beautiful woman.

Originally Posted by Talvenada

MEL,

Thanks for deciphering my trying to clarify my question, while I was trying not to be unintentionally insultive.

Having something very remotely similar in my past, that is that I'm bisexual, while only acting on the hetero side. I also was turned off and not attracted to men until I was 21.

You traveled down that road. At what point from where you started to CD to where you are now did you become attracted to men? What was your first CD experience--like lipstick only?

My first experience with a man was nine years old, when I was sexually abused by my babysitter. He would go on to abuse me almost twenty more times. My innocence was taken, and although damaged I found it strangely curious and exciting to be desired by a man, and to feel like a woman.

So my fascination was there right from the start, before my teenage years, and this might explain my bleak outlook. To me,there was always some darker side that could not be seen at a glance. That's heavy stuff for a 10-yr old kid.

While I did have gay encounters and knew I was bi, I didn't fully explore that part till deep in transition. My "CD" period was brief, lasting maybe a year and a half. I quickly shifted to hormones and life as a woman. There are many that choose to stop short of that, but for me it was all or nothing. That's why changing my name and becoming prominent in the community is important. There is nothing left of my former male life, it is an empty vacant building. I transferred it all over, but I understand for many they are heavily invested in their male identity.

It was never sexually-based. I was drawn to how I felt inside, the clothes were meaningless. Therein lies the difference between TS and CD. For TS it's about how we feel internally, and for CDs it's expression of their femininty through clothes and (often) acting out sexually.