The Conquistador's Picture Of The Day

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I began to suspect last night when she said "Andy, you are much smaller than your friend..."

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This was in my "inbox" this morning. Have been doing a lot of videoconferencing with students and clients. Always try to look my best even if I just got up.

Works for me...

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The latest "news" in my inbox this morning... Zoom has been used by many during this coronavirus time to hold conferences. It's quick and easy to set up for one. Some of my colleagues have used it. However, if you let anyone join your meeting, the results can become unpredictable. There have been cases of lectures being interrupted by porn on screen, racist messages, and other things.

But apparently, the latest thing is that you can become anybody on Zoom.

So, this is what I decided I will look like to my students and clients.

Of course my class looks like this...

(Moderators: They are all "college age" so >18.)

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It would probably be a good idea to take my shorts off first.

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Today's “ad” was “How To Look Sexy on Instagram” the picture below is what accompanied the ad.

I tried dressing like that for my profile picture but it didn’t work…

But they DID have a list of captions guaranteed to get you laid. (My advice: Use them at your own risk. Bet you’ll be spending the night with your hand… )

“Do you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass! (Me: Tried this one on my wife. Not only did I end up sleeping in the garage, she also ran over me with our truck… )

They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?

Did you swallow magnets? cause you are attractive!

Kiss me if I’m wrong but Dinosaurs still exist? Right? (Me: Tried this out on Dove Cameron. She replied “You should know Andy, you’re old enough…” )

Nice t-shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do you have a name or can I call you Mine?

Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? (Me: The “best” one. Though that’s probably debatable. May try this on Taylor Swift the next time she’s here. )

Do you live in a cornfield, coz I’m stalking you.

Never do the same mistake twice, unless he’s hot!

My mind is full of You!

Can I keep You?

Hey You! I love your face!

You don’t cross my mind. You live there!

As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.

Smile. It’s the second-best thing you can do with your lips.

In a room full of art, I would still stare at you. (Me: Jesus Fucking Christ! Please don't tell me you think this one would actually work? )

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My posts are not getting many views. So when all else fails…

The first three: “He lives in Zionsville???”

“We loved your on-line class Dr. Andy!!!"

“Oh Shit. He’s married…”

Yes. I know. But I can’t control who sees that pic…

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Fuck, he looks creepy. McDonalds had a campaign several years ago to attract younger consumers. It didn't work... One, they got "Millennials" confused with "Gen Z" as many do. Two, the campaign sucked. "Selfies, here I come." Three, in 2016 there were "evil clown sightings" worldwide and basically Ronald was toast.

But his "makeover" got me thinking... Maybe this is what I should wear for my date with Dove Cameron?