Waiting for my dream girl

[ila]

Originally Posted by a9127

...With all the people I know up there, shouldn’t have any trouble getting a hold of one of those “Purdue Pete” heads. After all what have I got to lose? Besides I really like a woman with a sense of humor. It dosen't hurt if she's also 6'2", smart, a great athlete, and gorgeous.

Judging by the last picture the "Purdue Pete" head is the way to go.

[a9127]

Originally Posted by ila

Judging by the last picture the "Purdue Pete" head is the way to go.

Rumor has it it's the size of his "hammer."

[a9127]

More fun with "Purdue Pete."

Now I realize what my degree prepared me for in life...

Yes, I have a set of four. Been a long day. Maybe I should use one now? Maker's Mark?

That's the last time I'm letting him listen to Slayer...

He has not won over my nieces. They think he's "scary" and "creepy." Especially the first one. The 10 year old said "I want to kill all of them."

Announcer: "Again it seems like Purdue's linebacker 'a9127' was distracted by something on the play. That time he let Michigan's running back go right by him into the end zone for a touchdown. His mind is clearly not in the game."

No comment. But God, I hope my wife never buys me one of these for my office...

[a9127]

While working out last night they had yet another “infomercial” for “Dr. Ho’s” treatments for pain and tension. I’ve since learned he is not a “real” doctor (surprise). At least not a medical one and I don’t know where his degree was from if any.

One of the featured “treatments” got my attention pretty quickly. A very attractive model was massaging some sort of oil on her legs, especially her upper, inner, thighs. I have played sports for many years and workout regularly—I have never experienced pain there.

But I could understand how, with a partner, or, hell, even alone, it might eventually lead to “reduced tension.”

I have a “doctorate” as well but mine is from Indiana University in Business. Shit, it could still work. I’ll just call myself “Dr. Hoe.” Seems fitting… and make my own infomercials.

Here’s someone that I’d love to have star in my videos. Her name is Paige Hathaway.

[a9127]

Another "fake" clickbait ad from CNN. "Future wife?"

"But I don't know her name!!!"

(Tried "swiping right" didn't work... )

[a9127]

This came up on my computer at work today. “Star Trek” was long before my time. Was trying to think of something dirty…

Instead, all I could come up with was “Live long and prosper.”

(If that was me it wouldn't be my ears that would be upright. )

[a9127]

It was just a speeding ticket. But at my hearing, the Judge ordered me to her private chambers for my “sentencing.” After changing into black leather panties, bra, and 7” stiletto heels, she brandished a rattan cane saying I had been a “bad boy” and needed to be “taught a lesson.” Then she put me on "probation" saying I had to check in every Friday night at "her place."