Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

Showed up in my CNN feed today. Have never seen Tangled but of course I'm familiar with the story of Rapunzel.

Before posting, I decided to do an “age check.” This is what the official synopsis had to say:

“…at the age of 18, Rapunzel becomes curious about the outside world…”

Despite what this says, I never thought Disney was intentionally dirty. The only incident I’m aware of was the “Penis Castle” cover for The Little Mermaid. There was enough controversy that Disney pulled it (“pulled” ) and re-issued the DVD with another cover. There’s lots on this out there. Is it? Or not? What do you think?

I might have to watch Tangled after all. Maybe they’re right. Bondage? Looks like fun.

Well that was definitely worth the climb. Disney must have cut this scene out of the final edit.

[a9127]

Shit. I thought she was for sure my "future wife".

Instead it turned out to be "performance art." In other words--a fake. Such is my luck with on-line dating.



(Moderators: Amalia is 29. She was 25 when she posted these. Her book is a wonderful critique of "social media" and "selfie culture" with its increasing pressure on everyone to be a "celebrity." Especially young women.)

[a9127]

Nothing to post anymore. The Internet hates me today.

This guy going to see his doctor is “40.”

Shit, I hate it when all my “ex’s” get together…

My wife said “I told you what would happen if you posted any more pictures of Hayley Williams.”

[a9127]

CNN had a new "fake ad" for me today: "More pot investors join today’s new millionaires."

Wouldn't care, but a beautiful woman wearing denim shorts walking along the beach by herself is more than enough to get my attention.

So I had to do a Google search to see who my latest "future wife" was.

I found the original image but she's not identified and all it said was "photo shoot."

(Update: Persistence pays off. Tried again and struck gold. Still don't have a name but found several more pics of her. Nice... )

[a9127]

The original “Rebelde” ran from 2004-2006. You can find it on Netflix. The setting was the “Elite Way School” in Mexico City. A fictitious high school. Good thing, ‘cause I’d get myself into trouble in no time. That should be me with Anahí on the bike. Nice bike by the way.

(Moderators: Both women were actually born in 1985 and 1983 and are at least 19 and 21 here. Why wasn’t my school in Michigan like this? )

[a9127]

Tyra Scott "future wife"?

(She invited me over for dinner. But I don't see any food out... Wonder what she had in mind? )

[a9127]

More “ED” fun! This is what they “advise against” doing in favor of whatever they’re selling. Bet that works though. Hell I’d get hard. Especially if Tyra (above) did that to me. Seriously though, I read a story once of a guy that shot cocaine into his dick. It got infected and had to be “surgically removed.”

He’s “35”? Whatever. I’ve seen him before in those fake “Born before 1985” mortgage ads. His name is “Brian Johnson.” Brian, you sly dog you.

And this couple was “Born before 1985” so they are my age? No, it's just me who's old. My wife was born in 1987. She’s still a fuckin’ kid…