Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

Recently another one of those “fake ads” has been circulating. You know, the ones like the “Born Before 1985” ads featuring 80 year old men. They are commonly referred to as “clickbait.” This one instead features a gorgeous model wearing a red hoodie. The caption reads:

“An Apple Engineer Designed a Sweatshirt That’s Disrupting American Manufacturing.”

Below is a review of the ad featuring my “future wife.” My comments are in parentheses. As always they should be taken with a “grain of salt.” Fuck, just use the entire shaker!

“This ad is good.” (No Shit. )

“A photo of a realistic looking woman looking directly at you.” (Yeah, sure, I run into women who look just like her at least 1000 times a day or more… )

“Piggybacking on a brand like Apple and incorporating a power word like “Disrupting.” (Damn, I though SHE worked for Apple! Was planning to move to California. The thing she’s most likely to “disrupt” is my current marriage... )

“Once again, doesn’t get anymore basic and boring than American Manufacturing.” (Gee Thanks. Now I know what’s wrong with our economy. Never would have guessed... )

“And yet this ad manages to somehow leap off the page.” (Yeah, it does. My first thought was “Who IS she?” then “How can I ask her out?” Never really thought about the “hoodie” except that she looked cute in it. )

“Thanks in large part to emphasizing what’s interesting or unique.” (Hint: Definitely NOT the sweatshirt. Sorry... Now if you can just tell me her name.)