Waiting for my dream girl

[a9127]

I may have judged Ronald's new "threads" prematurely. Now where can I get bright yellow cargo pants and a vest?

Just being one of the guys...

"But officer she looked 18."

(Yep. After the "evil clown" sightings in 2016, McDonald's scaled back his "brand representation." FYI both of my nieces think he's "creepy" with or without the makeover. )

[a9127]

The first step in on-line dating they say is to write a good description of yourself. So here goes...

Actually, I was a poor student (had to repeat first grade twice) and then was cut from my 5th grade flag football team. Was born in 1949. Drive a beat up ’84 Buick. Still a virgin. Live in a rusted out trailer near Zionsville. 5’7” 300 pound “musclehead.” Smoke weed, do meth and coke regularly. Favorite album is Pat Boone “In a Metal Mood.” Favorite song is “Afternoon Delight.” Favorite movie is “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Got fired from my job delivering for Pizza Hut. The only exercise I get is going out to my mailbox to collect my welfare check. Other than that I sit around all day jacking off to t-girl porn off my neighbor’s unsecured Wi-Fi connection. Into autoerotic asphyxiation and CBT. Once I tried picking up prostitutes down on Washington street but even they wouldn’t have anything to do with me. There was this one that was really hot but she turned out to be a cop.

Sound better?

[a9127]

Another one of those “Fake Ads” from CNN. This one’s called “Things Flight Attendants Notice About Passengers In 3 Seconds.”

I noticed several things too:

She’s really cute.

The way she’s looking at me as I get on the plane. I didn’t realize it was that obvious. Better cover it with my carry on baggage…

Her very short uniform and the way she’s sitting. Also the position of her right hand… Maybe she's been playing with her cock?

Why do I get the feeling we’re gonna end up joining the “mile high” club sometime during this flight?

(I hate flying. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel relaxed? It must have worked. About an hour into the flight she joined me in the rest room. I took her from behind while jacking her off. It was great. We thought we had gotten away with it until all the passengers applauded... )

[a9127]

From Esquire:

This week in "Everything Is Dumb, Humanity Is Broken," a 69-year-old man is petitioning to legally have his age lowered to 49 because it fits his body better, claiming that age is fluid, like gender or my faith in humanity. The Dutch man, Emile Ratelband, was born in 1949 and works as a pensioner in his hometown of Arnhem.

The whole thing kicked off after Ratelband, who literally described himself as a "young god," felt he was being discriminated against on dating apps. Regarding the 20-year-shed reported in The Guardian, Ratelband goes on to say, "When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position." Pretty presumptive to think that it's the 69 (nice) that's deterring potential partners and not, say, the penchant to call yourself a "young god."

Unfortunately, I believe Ratelband weakens his already shaky argument by comparing his proposed “age adjustment” to changing one’s gender legally. Not only is that offensive to many (to me it sure as hell is) but it’s the wrong comparison and shows his ignorance.

However he has given me a great idea! I’ve decided to petition a judge to make me “18” again. The same age as Hayley Williams in the picture I’ve posted below.

As for our misguided friend. I couldn’t help but run the “age test” on him. Check it out. A “young god” he is not. He might want to think about having more than 20 years deducted. Maybe see a plastic surgeon while he's at it? I have a feeling his reasons for not getting a “date” on Tinder are many… age is the least of his worries.

[a9127]

Recently another one of those “fake ads” has been circulating. You know, the ones like the “Born Before 1985” ads featuring 80 year old men. They are commonly referred to as “clickbait.” This one instead features a gorgeous model wearing a red hoodie. The caption reads:

“An Apple Engineer Designed a Sweatshirt That’s Disrupting American Manufacturing.”

Below is a review of the ad featuring my “future wife.” My comments are in parentheses. As always they should be taken with a “grain of salt.” Fuck, just use the entire shaker!

“This ad is good.” (No Shit. )

“A photo of a realistic looking woman looking directly at you.” (Yeah, sure, I run into women who look just like her at least 1000 times a day or more… )

“Piggybacking on a brand like Apple and incorporating a power word like “Disrupting.” (Damn, I though SHE worked for Apple! Was planning to move to California. The thing she’s most likely to “disrupt” is my current marriage... )

“Once again, doesn’t get anymore basic and boring than American Manufacturing.” (Gee Thanks. Now I know what’s wrong with our economy. Never would have guessed... )

“And yet this ad manages to somehow leap off the page.” (Yeah, it does. My first thought was “Who IS she?” then “How can I ask her out?” Never really thought about the “hoodie” except that she looked cute in it. )

“Thanks in large part to emphasizing what’s interesting or unique.” (Hint: Definitely NOT the sweatshirt. Sorry... Now if you can just tell me her name.)

[a9127]

As I said a couple posts above, the man who wants to have his age “lowered” legally so he is more appealing to women on Tinder seems to have larger problems. Sorry dude, “49” ain’t gonna be enough…

Chiefly, his arrogance regarding his looks and personality (“young god” and the “face I have”). Also what exactly does he DO? Does he have a job? Has he retired? Is he rich? What? Maybe he just needs a “sugar momma”?

It’s not unusual for there to be 20+ age differences with couples nowadays. There’s a lot of things that make a relationship work. But I don’t need to tell you that…

The president of France, Emmanuel Macron is 40. His wife Brigitte Macron is 25 years older. I think that’s awesome.

Many of the women we’ve posted to the Divas thread are older than most of us. Often by quite a bit. It got me thinking:

“Would I date or become involved with a woman say, almost twice my age or older?”

The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)

[Boner]

The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)[/QUOTE]

I'm on the older end of that spectrum now....

But ever since I was a kid first getting turned on by beautiful ladies it was always more for older women. I wanted one to teach me

[a9127]

There's so much competition out there. Wanted to write a good profile so I could get dates.

Originally Posted by a9127

Actually, I was a poor student (had to repeat first grade twice) and then was cut from my 5th grade flag football team. Was born in 1949. Drive a beat up ’84 Buick. Still a virgin. Live in a rusted out trailer near Zionsville. 5’7” 300 pound “musclehead.” Smoke weed, do meth and coke regularly. Favorite album is Pat Boone “In a Metal Mood.” Favorite song is “Afternoon Delight.” Favorite movie is “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Got fired from my job delivering for Pizza Hut. The only exercise I get is going out to my mailbox to collect my welfare check. Other than that I sit around all day jacking off to t-girl porn off my neighbor’s unsecured Wi-Fi connection. Into autoerotic asphyxiation and CBT. Once I tried picking up prostitutes down on Washington street but even they wouldn’t have anything to do with me. There was this one that was really hot but she turned out to be a cop.

But I did just get hired at Domino's. They even gave me a new car!

[ila]

Originally Posted by a9127

But I did just get hired at Domino's. They even gave me a new car!

I finally found out what happened to my car. It still has the same licence plate.

[a9127]

Age. Does it matter? Many of the women we post on this site are much younger or sometimes older that most of us. So if you had a chance to date or be in a relationship with one would you go for it? I think its fine so as long as both partners are “over 18” and the relationship is consensual and not "arranged" or "coerced." I’ve seen plenty of “formulas,” “charts,” and “rules” regarding what is the “right” age. To me it’s all irrelevant. What matters only is how the two people involved feel about each other.

Many 20+ year age gaps (sometimes 30, 40, or more) can be found among celebrity couples. And often in real life. Typically in our society, it is the man who is older—but not always. More women appear to be dating “younger men” than ever before although I don’t have any data on it at the moment.

This is Hugh Hefner and his wife Crystal. Hefner passed away in 2017. He was approximately 60 years older than his spouse. To put it in perspective, my wife is three months younger than Crystal, or to look at it another way, when Hefner was my age Crystal wouldn’t be born for another 24 years! So it looks like I’m just gonna have to stick around a while to meet my “future wife.”

(Does this mean that Dove Cameron is too old for me then? )

[a9127]

Originally Posted by ila

I finally found out what happened to my car. It still has the same licence plate.

Thanks for letting me borrow it. Last night I drove it down to Tennessee and took Hayley out in it. She said she had "never been in a car like that before" and was glad I didn't bring the Corvette instead.

[a9127]

As I said before, this is "the gift that keeps on giving."

With fewer people getting married and having kids in Japan over the years, one company thought it prudent to embrace the future and recognize marriages between men and their anime "waifus".

In otaku culture, the term "waifu" refers to an anime girl whom a fan has taken a specific liking to. "Waifu" stems from the English word "wife" but is given a Japanese pronunciation. The counterpart word "husbando" for male characters has a similar use and origin.

According to a special Gatebox website, interested parties may submit their marriage registration for the company's recognition. The site even provides a marriage registration form to download, fill-up and submit.

Since anime fans typically have more than one waifu, Gatebox took this into consideration. They specifically mentioned that only one waifu could be registered. This means fans will really have to think long and hard on which waifu to officially tie the knot with.

Apart from registering for marriage, Gatebox also accepts job applications. Lucky applicants who get hired and have successfully registered their waifu marriage are entitled to receive a monthly stipend of 5,000 yen (US $60.65) on top of their salary. (Me: I'll try not to spend it all at Starbucks. )

To sweeten the deal, these new Gatebox employees could also take the day off to celebrate their waifu's birthday. Anime characters in Japan often have an official birthday which fans celebrate each year.

It's worth noting that Gatebox also happens to sell a product called Gatebox Virtual Home Robot. The device projects a small holographic image of an anime girl which responds to voice commands, such as the hologram artificial intelligence Joi featured in "Bladerunner 2049".

The characters act like virtual assistants which can turn on lights, appliances, play music and keep in contact with the owner through a smartphone app.

[ila]

Originally Posted by a9127

Thanks for letting me borrow it. Last night I drove it down to Tennessee and took Hayley out in it. She said she had "never been in a car like that before" and was glad I didn't bring the Corvette instead.

I trust you found out the benefits of those long bench seats. They sure beat the modern bucket seats.

[a9127]

Our date went so well I decided to get rid of the ZR-1 and buy this ’71 Ford LTD Wagon. Powered by a 400 cubic inch 6.6L Cleveland, it can carry up to 10 people. I could take all my girlfriends out! And it has vinyl “bench seats” plus an authentic ‘70’s “CB” radio. Wonder how fast it would go?

The Ford LTD and Galaxy were also used by many law enforcement agencies including state highway patrols. A heavily modified 1971 Galaxy 500 with a four speed manual and 429 with dual carbs was featured in the Burt Reynolds movie “White Lightning” from 1973. I have seen this movie on TV several times. Jennifer Billingsley plays his girlfriend. They track down the evil sheriff and moonshiners who killed his brother. My favorite of his movies. Second is “The Longest Yard.” Worth watching.

The last picture is another shot of ila’s “Domino’s Special.” Thanks for letting me borrow it…