How many times a day/week do you pleasure yourself?

[a9127]

The following "case studies" are taken from a “Men’s Sexual Health” site. My comments are in parentheses. It is meant for entertainment purposes only!!!

Chronic over-masturbation singe (sic) age 14 results in thinner hair, weak erection, memory loss, acne, stress, low back pain, premature ejaculation, stomach pains, and some blurry vision. But he could not heal his damaged brain, neuro-endocrine system, liver and prostate, associated with the sympathetic Fight (premature ejaculation) and Flight (going limp), by simply stopping masturbation (“Damaged Brain” sounds about right… I always thought it was from all the concussions I suffered in football. My Mom would blame it on the music I listened to. )

Post-ejaculation sexual exhaustion symptoms: penile pain, testicular pain, testicle pain, low abdominal pain, pubic pain, erectile dysfunction (curved-down erection), dead mind, loss concentration and memory, and blurred or poor vision for no more sexual orgasm (Well I just bought a pair of reading glasses but I forgot where I put them…).

Chronically over-masturbating 3-7 times a day from age 12 to 19 for erectile dysfunction, destruction of testicular and adrenal function (extreme low testosterone level), and woman-wild-ride fracture, ultimately resulted in penile deformation, shrinking from 9 inches to 5 inches for no more sexual orgasm (No comment… ).

Chronic over-masturbating 7-8 times a day shut down his 25 year old hypothalamus-pituitary-testicular axis for penis and testicles shrinkage (75-80%), muscle loss, memory loss, and no libido for no more erection or sexual orgasm (Likewise… )

Over-masturbating too young and having too much Java for youth impotency and no sexual orgasm (Do they mean “Java” as in coffee? Or the programming language? Debugging Java code for hours back in college never failed to render me “impotent.” My girlfriend hated programming. )

Impotency due to starting matursbtion (sic) in the 4th grade for no sexual orgasm (I started “masturbating” around that time. I don’t know what “matursbtion” is. Sounds dangerous. Bet your dick could fall off… )

Young man's over-ejaculation for his May-September marriage results in impotence and no Sexual Orgasm (This must have been with my first wife… She was several years older than me. ).