Learning New Things About Myself

[a9127]

No. Not really. I’ve always “liked what I like” ever since I can remember. My first sexual experience was when I was very young back in the 90’s. She was a totally cute and hot male friend of mine. As she explained it, at about 4 or 5 she “knew she was a girl.” We dated through high-school. She’s the “Stephanie” I’ve written about elsewhere. There was a long story/post about how we met and our first encounter on my WordPress site but since no one from here ever reads that stuff I took the link down. Our parents thought we might be gay (especially mine) but still loved and accepted us as a couple.

I never felt “gay” growing up nor do I now and I’ve always been attracted to ciswomen as well as transwomen. And very feminine males or femboys. I’ve been married twice to ciswomen and have dated both trans and cis women. I’ve always been OK with watching what would be considered gay porn so long as it involves a feminine male. Maybe a younger, cute femboy being sucked or fucked? Through browsing porn sites I discovered “cock milking” and “edging” videos. I am most definitely a "top."

One of my best friends at the university where I teach is gay. We are both advisors for LGBTQ students. We have a lot in common and are both active in the Indianapolis community. He looks a lot like me only smaller. Maybe 6’2”, 200 lbs. Older than me. Fit. Works out. But has a beard and body hair. Otherwise I’d probably have asked him out long ago… He was married and just recently lost his husband to cancer. I am in my 30’s now and currently married to a very beautiful ciswoman several years younger than me. She has many gay and lesbian friends and frequently attends things with me. We have an active sex life that includes oral and anal sex as well as role playing and bondage.

Probably the only thing that has “changed” for me over the years is simply my understanding of new things (like what "pansexual" and “genderfluid” mean) and the recognition that there is more openness and acceptance of gay and trans people today than when I was a teenager. My #1 issue is stopping on-line bullying and violence against gay and transgender people. I experienced some of that first hand with Stephanie when we were together.