That precious moment

[tslust]

I don't really have one specific moment when I came to the realization that I wanted to be a girl. Umm I guess my desire to be a girl has always been with me, even when I tried to ignore it.

I'll try to provide a brief outline of the timeline that has led me to this point. I can remember when I was like four or five, I sometimes felt like I shoul've been a girl. However those feelings were quickly surpressed. Also, I've been told that when I was three, I used to walk around in my mom's shoes and try to wear my sister's dresses. One night, when I was nine, I was watching TV with my parents and I commented that I thought the guy was cute - that went over really well. I was very suicidal because I had this void in my life that I couldn't understand. I had my first kiss, it was with a boy (almost the same age as me), when I was 11. He would deflower me two years later, I would have conflicting feelings about that whole episode for years. When I went into high school, I did all the things teen boys are "supposed" to do. I did play a couple of sports, I got into fights, I went out with and as many girls as I could, butt there was still the nagging void. After high school, I came across a vid clip of a shemale. I became courious and decided to try on a pair of my mom's panties and one of her bras. I had an awesome jack-off session that night. I decided to get some of my own. At first my dressing was a sexual outlet. Then over time it developed into more, as my surpressed feelings came to the surface. Now, after several purges, I've come to the realization that I want to be a girl (except for the SRS).