Shemales or Transsexuals

[Hourglass]

Originally Posted by Wendy Summers

All definitions I'm providing refer to people born in male bodies. Flip genders for the other side if need be. As always different people may have slightly different takes on these varying terms.

A Transsexual is someone with the desire to transition across gender lines both physically and socially (the level of which is determined by the individual's need).

A Crossdresser is someone who predominantly lives and identifies as male but lets their "feminine side out" by dressing as a female; While "en femme" they do their best to assume the behaviors and societal roles of females.

A Transvestite is someone who although fully identifying as male, wears the clothing of a female . They often do not have any interest in assuming social norms and behaviors of females.

Transgender is the umbrella term for all of the above.

Good rule of thumb: let the person who are talking with self-identify and refer to them with the terminology they use.

While it's good to have some clarification, I must say that I've often gotten different answers from different people when it comes to definitions. And it's confusing as all Hell.

For example, one of my online acquaintances told me that a crossdresser and a transvestite are one and the same, and that a transgender is simply a woman's spirit in a man's body (she refers to herself as being a transgender). She further said that a femboi was just a very, very pretty male who, when dressed in woman's clothing, is indistinguishable from a woman.

When I asked where the term ladyboy fit in, she simply said, "that's what a lot of Asian tgirls call themselves." When I asked about the word shemale, she laughed and said "you mean a porn star."
I wouldn't have thought the word "shemale" was offensive; I guess I relate the she to addressing someone as "ma'am" or "madam" or "Miss" or "Ms." Conversely, more often than not, I hear the word tranny used in a derogatory manner. (read: people use as an insult. Name-calling.)

It made me wonder...How many labels do people need? And more importantly, which one is right?

I would venture to say that one reason major men have a hard time approaching transsexuals is due to simply not knowing how to address them. One person is fine with being called a ladyboy, the next person views it as an insult.
This is further compounded by the adult entertainment industry, which tosses the words shemale and tranny about with reckless abandon; And in fact, many of the stars in said films refer to themselves as being shemales and not as being female.
(Sorry girls...but porn is where a lot of guys learn stuff. For good or ill.)

So when you have the terms shemale, transsexual, transgender, tgirl, ladyboy, ladyboi, femboy, femboi (while we're at it, can someone clue me in on the whole "boi" spelling?), crossdresser, cd, tg, tv all being used (correctly or not) interchangeably...yeah. One can get a little lost on what is or is not proper or accurate.
Which can be a very bad thing when you think you're referring to someone respectfully, and you only end up infuriating them instead.

Put another way...perhaps the lack of success with being approached has less to do with what is between one's legs, and more to do with the label they insist on carrying?

I realize that being addressed properly is a big deal for a lot of people, and the last thing I'd want to do to anyone I'm trying to get to know would be insult them. But...well when you look at the glossary of terms being thrown about, it's sort of easy to understand why so many of us address you all incorrectly.

Didn't mean to rant 'n ramble, just thought I'd add my two cents.