Your own family

[smc]

Originally Posted by JodieTs

I can answer this one for my Brother.

Firstly, I didn't come out as a she-male or any other sexuality terminology
as it trivialises a huge aspect of my life.

Five years ago I went round to his place, for 'that chat'
I spoke to him and his wife.
I came out as a transsexual person who is changing
aspects of my physical and biochemical make up
so as to make this congruent with how I identify inside.
I explained that I am the same person, just some parts of me have been hidden....
but that for me to move forward with my life, I have to be true and transition.
And that this is the most important thing in my life
This is what my life truly is.
I said he will always be my Brother and this
should not have any relevance nor impact
on his memory's of us growing up.

His wife waited for the punch line and he looked both confused and very worried for me.
This was all five years ago.
And it is one hell of a thing to drop on one's family.
So Ts people really need to give a huge amount of slack and time to the ones they love
and hope they can come to terms with it all.

I've since had tons of conversations with my Brother and my Mum on this aspect of our relationship.
Basically, my Brother and I were always very close
That is still true.
Intellectually, he understands everything
But he will never be able to see me as anything other than his brother
which of course I fully understand.
But he is grieving for his lost sibling who he feels he has lost
{and yes I feel so guilty about that}
Just writing this is making me cry.

Of course, it's so much more complex than what I am about to write, but the bottom line is that you mustn't feel guilty about how your brother feels, because at the end of the day he must "solve" the feeling of loss he has without even a hint of making you feel as if you owe "going back" to assuage his feelings.

I know you know that, Jodie. The crying part is natural.