My 1st Time

[jon_Joy_1999]

I like this story, but it could do with a bit more detail and accuracy. like, how do you know each others names?
why did you think it was a gay bar when you saw a woman enter it? I admit some gay bars have women who enter looking for gay companions, because it's a good place to simply hang out for a beer without being perved on, but what kind of woman would invite a guy into a gay bar? hmmm I guess that question has an answer).
if you've ever actually done anal front to front, you'd know it's a bit harder than doing vaginal, I'm not 100% certain, but I don't think you'd be able to go tongue to tongue while taking it anal, unless you were doing it doggy style, and even that would be awkward.
where did the multiple shemales come from? the last sentence in the story has three plural indicators: their beautiful faces, their shafts, and their penetrating pleasure; but the rest of the story only deals with one woman at a time.
I love this work, and give you rep for the story. work on it a bit more, and come back to share what you've done. you've got a a great seed to work from