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  #11  
Old 08-02-2010
St. Araqiel
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[Axelle drops her robe to pose nude for the art class]
Art Class Professor: Hands on your pencils, boys!

"Jonas Venture": I took the form of your dad because I figured it would be easier to accept. I didn’t want to stress you out—end of the world, life on other planets, blah blah blah.
Dr. Venture: Why...you SON OF A BITCH! Do you know what you just put me through?! What the fuck were you thinking?! What kind of fucked-up planet are you from, where you think showing up as my dead fucking father is supposed to make me feel any better?!
"Jonas Venture": Okay, take it easy—
Dr. Venture: You prick!
"Jonas Venture": Look, I just saved your entire planet—
Dr. Venture: Prick!
"Jonas Venture": Alright, fine, you wanna see? Here! [peels off his face, revealing his true self, which is shown offscreen, but horrifies everyone else] There! That would have been better? If I showed up like that out of nowhere? Look at you! You practically crapped your pants! Except him—he crapped his pants! [points to Ned]
Ned: Boom boom.

Abdul Amir: [enters] Yusuf!
Yusuf Amir: Oh, Poppa! What are you doing here? [sets down SMG, turns off music] Welcome! Welcome, Poppa. This is my business associate…er…Mr…uh…
Luis Lopez: Luis.
Yusuf Amir: Mr. Lewis. Y'Allah, he is the greatest technical advisor in the whole city. And this is his wife, Jaundice. [pulls Jonelle across the room]
Jonelle: Careful, motherfucker!
Yusuf Amir: Yes. And you know…we were just having a little creative meeting and things went a bit crazy, and, ah…I somehow lost my pants. But you know, Poppa, I tell you, you are looking…you’re looking very well, in fact.
Abdul Amir: I knew how disgraceful you were, but I didn’t realize quite how shameful you were.
Yusuf Amir: Things are not how they look.
Abdul Amir: Things do not look good, son.
Yusuf Amir: Don’t judge a book by its cover, Father. That’s what you taught me.
Abdul Amir: When a book is called Guns, Drugs, Hookers and No Pants, I think I don’t need to read it.
Yusuf Amir: Poppa, you know, these people…they mean nothing to me. In fact, they are just going. Go, get out! You, Mr. Lewis, take your wife, Mrs. Lewis. And may I say, madam, this is not a very appropriate way for a married woman to dress! [shoving them toward the door] I told them many times, Father, this is a disrespectful way to dress. Do they listen to me? Oh no, never! And you, by the way… [whispering to Luis] I will text you in about one minute about the tank, okay?
Luis Lopez: The NOOSE tank?
Yusuf Amir: Shhhh! Go and leave right now!

Announcer: WKTT. Because I love my country, and if you don’t, fuck you and your fat wife.

Playboy X: I was someone, y'know! I made it! I…changed the game!
Niko Bellic: You didn’t change the game. [shoots Playboy dead] The game changed you!

Last edited by St. Araqiel; 08-02-2010 at 12:27 AM.
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