Straight dude with a t-girl friend needs advice

[rawr1313]

Ila is right, I used the wrong word. She isn't asking my advice but my opinion. I'm just not prepared for this type of thing. I know diddly squat about what it's like to be a "woman trapped in a mans body" or what it's like to go through a physical change like this. I've seen some crazy stuff in my life, and I'm not grossed out about questions about genitalia, but a question like that caught me totally off guard and I have no experience to even try to give an opinion based on anything.

I've spent a couple months reading a lot of the boards before I decided to post, in an attempt to get an idea of what my friend is going through and how to help her settle into her life. I knew it would be difficult for her explaining to her family and then going through with a fair amount of surgery and hormone therapy, I was just not expecting the friendship and the chemistry to change.

When we were just 2 kids I always knew what he was thinkin. As we got older I realized pretty quick he was very feminine and was like a girl, but our friendship was always the same as any 2 guys. Now after it all, she wants to be a girl and just a girl. Not someone who went M2F, just a girl. I think sometimes she wants to just pretend everything before the surgery and the hormones never happened and if that's the case I can understand that.

I try my best but sometimes I slip when I'm just hangin out and not thinkin. She gets angry when I call her by her birth name for example. I don't mean to, but it's difficult when you call someone by a name for 14 years and then they have a different name. It's like come january 1st and you accidentally write 2009 on the check book. Force of habit.

She wants to be treated like a girl, because she feels that she is and has always been one and I feel like since I'm the person who's in her life the most, it's my job to secure that. I feel like I'm failing at it. Moments like the ones mentioned, happen a lot and I hide my discomfort in the hopes I'll just get over it.

I don't plan on bailing on her though, and I'll do whatever I can to not let her down because I know she needs me. I was just looking for some insight to others who may have been in my position, or have been in her position making a transition and seeing how the people around them respond to it.

I just wanted an outside opinion from others like her or myself on whether or not I am being a bad friend or not. It bothers me a lot when I feel uncomfortable around the one person on the planet I trust and care for more than anyone else.

Thank you for the insight and awesome feedback, and here is to me figuring this all out...